Diary of a Tired Black Man - The Movie
Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Printable Version

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Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-24-2009 02:16 PM

See, get  a nice guy that looks a little something like this...



Now this is a man I would want my daughter to marry! (If I had one!)  Men know a good man when they see one!  Just women don't.  So I will work to be positive and show you then.

He looks happy.  You can tell he is intelligent.  He knows how to dress neatly.  And he looks like a good clean loving man who you can respect!  Don't you think you would do a better job of trying to raise kids with a man like this?

If you really look - I'm sure you can see the difference.  Choose your men wisely ladies.

* Hey guys (and girls), please post some more photos of good examples of men for the women to use as guide lines in their selections of who they should be talking too - since it seems so many of them haven't got a clue of what one looks like!  Let's educate our ladies men - since no one else seems to have taken the time to do it in their lives!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Ms HeartBeat - 06-24-2009 04:47 PM

Do you know this clown?  How do you know all those things about him that you say are true?  Ted Bundy had a clean cut boyish face too, and look at the mess he made of things.

Wise people do not judge anyone by how they "look".  That's called judging a book by its cover.  You gotta open the book and read a couple of chapters at least to get an idea of the plot and characters.  You don't get to read the whole book unless you buy it and take it home, and sometimes the book loses ground and you lose interest.  Sometimes it starts slow and picks up and ends great.  Other times it is a good read all the way through.  But you won't know until you buy it and take it home.

That is why you gotta dig deeper, take your time, and not make any assumptions about people based on LOOKS.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - serendipity79 - 06-24-2009 05:15 PM

Tim, I have to say I think you're missing the mark with this one. I get what you are trying to say about a "nice" guy not being all thugged or blinged out and that a nice guy is generally just an average looking gentleman. But, there are a LOT of men who look average and nice and are still predators. Same with women. I think we need to stay away from trying to give "nice" a look.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-24-2009 05:31 PM

I would rather take my chances with him them these dudes...









...there is no excuse for dating these pretty boys, thugs and losers!  You wouldn't.  And that would be JUST based on their looks Right? - but some other women would - JUST based on their looks.  And this is what we men are talking about.  And how much do you wanna bet they don't have a few kids running around?  People pick other people by their appearance all the time - what else do you think they go by when they first meet?

Is this one of those argue with Tim just to argue sessions?  I would really prefer to take my chances with the first guy if I was a woman.  Who wouldn't?  Yes, of course you still have to check him out - it was just a visual starting point - I DIDN'T TELL ANY OF YOU TO MARRY HIM THIS SATURDAY!  

Calm down, I'm just trying to help - because to many women WOULD think they are sexy or good guys to at least sleep with!  And how can YOU say they are not - just from their appearance??? Icon_wink

Look again at the first guy now ladies, not so bad huh?  That is if you want a CHANCE to have a good man.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-24-2009 05:46 PM

Here, let me move him down here so you can see him good next to the thugs for comparison...




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-24-2009 05:58 PM

OH, and here's his wife...



Sorry ladies... you missed him.

See...



And doesn't she look happy!





Here's on more look at a nice guy...



Some women really need to see the difference.  And yes, that is his wife for real - and he has a good job.



I know how to pick a good man (and I don't even want one!) - to bad most women don't.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-24-2009 06:08 PM

serendipity79 Wrote:
Tim, I have to say I think you're missing the mark with this one. I get what you are trying to say about a "nice" guy not being all thugged or blinged out and that a nice guy is generally just an average looking gentleman. But, there are a LOT of men who look average and nice and are still predators. Same with women. I think we need to stay away from trying to give "nice" a look.


You gotta start somewhere.  And I think a guy like him is the better and safest choice.  Most people wear a uniform that gives a clue of who they are - and even then - you still have to look at the person.

There is a much better chance he is a nice guy then the others.  But that doesn't stop some women from getting wet panties from the other guys.  And I think that is really sad.  But they do.  And I am trying to bring attention to it and slow the stupidity of it all.

Nice actually does have a look.  And bad boy ain't it.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - queenbastet - 06-24-2009 07:37 PM

Thanks for this Tim.  Icon_biggrin  

Here are two that I want to add...  I know both of them personally... both are 30, single, successful, no children and the first one is currently looking for "the one"... the other is looking but not really trying. He's just hoping to find someone within the next few years.

Ladies... enjoy ... they both happen to be beautiful too.  Icon_biggrin  








RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - queenbastet - 06-24-2009 07:40 PM

I can't believe the ladies are hating on this thread.... why?  
It's not about judging a book by its cover, but that's what u have to go with when u first see him... at least learn the way a good man tends to carry hmself...
and then when u get to know him more, you will know if the interior matches the exterior.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-24-2009 07:57 PM

queenbastet Wrote:
I can't believe the ladies are hating on this thread.... why?  
It's not about judging a book by its cover, but that's what u have to go with when u first see him... at least learn the way a good man tends to carry hmself...
and then when u get to know him more, you will know if the interior matches the exterior.


Finally one woman who gets it! Icon_heartbeat

See the pattern ladies - their pants stay up on their butts and they all have shirts on! Icon_razz

At least look for that! Icon_biggrin


Thanks queen!! Icon_up  

She is not here to fight argue or disagree - she is here to learn and share, and that WILL make a difference.

What exactly was your point ladies?  These guys look good to us.  Better then the others.  It's quiet now.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 06-24-2009 09:55 PM

This makes no sense at all.  That man could be running around killing folks and using their skin to make lamp shades.  If you don't know his character then you don't know that he's a nice guy no matter what he looks like.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-24-2009 10:37 PM

I don't understand why women are contesting this thread.  It should be pretty obvious which men are of the higher caliber, and which are almost a guarantee of drama and fatherless children?  So if the good men could potentially be bad guys - who wants to say the obviously bad guys could be great men!  Anybody?

And which would you pick from what you see here ladies?  It is a simple question.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - desireforchange - 06-25-2009 06:30 AM

queenbastet Wrote:
I can't believe the ladies are hating on this thread.... why?  
It's not about judging a book by its cover, but that's what u have to go with when u first see him... at least learn the way a good man tends to carry hmself...
and then when u get to know him more, you will know if the interior matches the exterior.


Hi Queen! Thanks, I think what you and Tim are doing with this thread is great. Maybe other ladies don't need it...I do! Thanks.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Yeah its CEE CEE - 06-25-2009 06:32 AM

What makes him "good?"


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Yeah its CEE CEE - 06-25-2009 06:33 AM

queenbastet Wrote:
Thanks for this Tim.  Icon_biggrin  

Here are two that I want to add...  I know both of them personally... both are 30, single, successful, no children and the first one is currently looking for "the one"... the other is looking but not really trying. He's just hoping to find someone within the next few years.

Ladies... enjoy ... they both happen to be beautiful too.  Icon_biggrin  







NICE


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-25-2009 06:37 AM

Yeah its CEE CEE Wrote:
What makes him "good?"


The smile on his wife's face. Icon_cool

It's very easy to see he is a good man, I did not say perfect man.  But he is far from a loser.  Argue that.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Yeah its CEE CEE - 06-25-2009 06:39 AM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

Yeah its CEE CEE Wrote:
What makes him "good?"


The smile on his wife's face. Icon_cool

It's very easy to see he is a good man, I did not say perfect man.  But he is far from a loser.  Argue that.

looks doesn't make a person good. just good looking. so i'll ask again...what makes him good?


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-25-2009 06:39 AM

Yeah its CEE CEE Wrote:

queenbastet Wrote:
Thanks for this Tim.  Icon_biggrin  

Here are two that I want to add...  I know both of them personally... both are 30, single, successful, no children and the first one is currently looking for "the one"... the other is looking but not really trying. He's just hoping to find someone within the next few years.

Ladies... enjoy ... they both happen to be beautiful too.  Icon_biggrin  







NICE


Oh so you like these?  See, even you have to admit we are right! Icon_biggrin (And you almost never do that! Icon_wink)


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Yeah its CEE CEE - 06-25-2009 06:41 AM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

Yeah its CEE CEE Wrote:

queenbastet Wrote:
Thanks for this Tim.  Icon_biggrin  

Here are two that I want to add...  I know both of them personally... both are 30, single, successful, no children and the first one is currently looking for "the one"... the other is looking but not really trying. He's just hoping to find someone within the next few years.

Ladies... enjoy ... they both happen to be beautiful too.  Icon_biggrin  







NICE


Oh so you like these?  See, even you have to admit we are right! Icon_biggrin (And you almost never do that! Icon_wink)



I never said the were "good." I dont know them. However they are good looking.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - skii - 06-25-2009 08:09 AM

Yeah its CEE CEE Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

Yeah its CEE CEE Wrote:

queenbastet Wrote:
Thanks for this Tim.  Icon_biggrin  

Here are two that I want to add...  I know both of them personally... both are 30, single, successful, no children and the first one is currently looking for "the one"... the other is looking but not really trying. He's just hoping to find someone within the next few years.

Ladies... enjoy ... they both happen to be beautiful too.  Icon_biggrin  







NICE


Oh so you like these?  See, even you have to admit we are right! Icon_biggrin (And you almost never do that! Icon_wink)



I never said the were "good." I dont know them. However they are good looking.


I really think that this is why so many men claim that they are passed over by "good" women.  For some men good = attractive.  It's very simple thinking, like in many children's cartoons.  The attractive people are usually the good guys  and the bad guys are ugly.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-25-2009 08:15 AM

Don't say anything to her.  Everybody stay quiet.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - lilly - 06-25-2009 08:50 AM

If I came across these guys in the grocery store (the ones queenbastet and Tim posted) then I would like to approach them and make conversation.  However, I don't ever run across these type of men that often and if I do, they're already taken!


queenbastet Wrote:
I can't believe the ladies are hating on this thread.... why?  
It's not about judging a book by its cover, but that's what u have to go with when u first see him... at least learn the way a good man tends to carry hmself...
and then when u get to know him more, you will know if the interior matches the exterior.




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - koolkc107 - 06-25-2009 08:58 AM

One should never judge a book by it's cover, I get that. But, I ask anyone in this forum: if you were going to open a business, or going out on the town to five star establishments which guys would you choose? I hope this ends this ridiculous semi-rebuttal. What kills me is the same folk finding fault are the first ones to sight appearance as a viable criteria in other threads. SMH!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-25-2009 09:11 AM

lilly Wrote:
If I came across these guys in the grocery store (the ones queenbastet and Tim posted) then I would like to approach them and make conversation.


Thank you Lilly!  Finally - a smart an honest woman spoke up!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Yeah its CEE CEE - 06-25-2009 09:18 AM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

lilly Wrote:
If I came across these guys in the grocery store (the ones queenbastet and Tim posted) then I would like to approach them and make conversation.


Thank you Lilly!  Finally - a smart an honest woman spoke up!


yeah nice but you have to get to know a person before you can label them a "good" person. Looks dont mean a damn thing. ive seen some real clean cut, suit wearing, good looking jackasses. The same way i know men who have made the mistake of falling for the real pretty chick only to find out later she was a tramp.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-25-2009 09:21 AM

koolkc107 Wrote:
One should never judge a book by it's cover, I get that. But, I ask anyone in this forum: if you were going to open a business, or going out on the town to five star establishments which guys would you choose? I hope this ends this ridiculous semi-rebuttal. What kills me is the same folk finding fault are the first ones to sight appearance as a viable criteria in other threads. SMH!


Yeah.  How many times have they cried down "Ghetto folk" and the hood!  This is truly ridiculous!  All they want to do is argue - and it is not even a rational argument with any purpose.  Thugs vs Non-Thugs - no contest!  Maybe one group is 50/50 good/bad  the other is 100% bad!  Still, that makes the good guys - better.  

Period.  Case closed.  

If you rebut it- it is just proof that you are hopelessly her to argue - and that is not the purpose of this forum.  We are her to find a common balance with each other as men and women so we can share it with the world to help bring healing to others.  I don't even know why some of you women are here.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Ms HeartBeat - 06-25-2009 09:41 AM

Nobody is saying they aren't nice guys TIm.  I am saying HOW CAN A WOMAN KNOW THAT JUST BY LOOKING AT THEM.  Lots of nice guys are in the NBA and in colleges and universities that have tattoos.  That alone does not make a guy a bad person.  It's a generational thing as all these young folks are all drawn on! lol

All I am saying is that you guys are generalizing and saying "well if a guy is dressed in this manner he is a good guy."  Crooks and thieves and pimps all wear suits.  Some of the biggest and most successful drug dealers wear dockers and blazers to fit in and not draw attention to themselves. I worked in a brokerage firm and half them dudes were abusive assholes to their wives and coke heads to boot - but they were educated, successful, drove nice cars, lived in the right zip code, and wore expensive suits every day.

All I am saying that making instant judgments about a man or woman's "goodness" based on nothing but how they are dressed or how they look is very superficial and not smart.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-25-2009 10:45 AM

Ms HeartBeat Wrote:
Nobody is saying they aren't nice guys TIm.  I am saying HOW CAN A WOMAN KNOW THAT JUST BY LOOKING AT THEM.  Lots of nice guys are in the NBA and in colleges and universities that have tattoos.  That alone does not make a guy a bad person.  It's a generational thing as all these young folks are all drawn on! lol

All I am saying is that you guys are generalizing and saying "well if a guy is dressed in this manner he is a good guy."  Crooks and thieves and pimps all wear suits.  Some of the biggest and most successful drug dealers wear dockers and blazers to fit in and not draw attention to themselves. I worked in a brokerage firm and half them dudes were abusive assholes to their wives and coke heads to boot - but they were educated, successful, drove nice cars, lived in the right zip code, and wore expensive suits every day.

All I am saying that making instant judgments about a man or woman's "goodness" based on nothing but how they are dressed or how they look is very superficial and not smart.


Thats just a starting point - any fool who would marry someone or have a serious relationship with someone on the way they look WITHOUT GETTING TO KNOW THEM DEEPLY is a dumbass!  But yet people DO sleep with a person just because of the way they look - both male and female - and sometime they make babies!

And no, I am not saying all tattoos are bad, you have to look at how they wear them and why.  But also not everyone has them - they are by far a minority!

And I was never talking about the way they looked as far as good looking and attire - I was talking about looking at them as a whole, and their character.  You can see the first man has a gentle spirit and integrity - I don't even know why we are playing this game, and the no god men who won't even keep their clothes on for trying to be sexy lack much character.  I am asking women to look for the character, and the clues of it or lack of it as a starting point - and then check them out with a fine tooth comb for fleas and ticks - and at first siting of one KICK THE FOOL TO THE CURB AND RUN FULL SPEED IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!!!  And that is NOT what most young women do now a days.  They run IN the direction of the losers!

Ladies, why are you fighting me about this?  I am a man and I am lovingly from my heart trying to give women some sound inside advice about how to avoid a bad man and how to spot the good one and you fight me about it?  What is you point??  Is this just a game for you?  Well it is not for me - I am doing serious work here.  I want to help women to find a better value system in how they choose a man so we CAN have stronger families in which to raise up better future men and women.

Work with me ladies.  This thread doesn't require the same mindless arguing.  Why would it?  Anybody can clearly see the first guy is a nice centered man, and the second group is clearly not.  So why argue that - just for fun?  Please don't do that to me to waist my time, show more respect for the issues we have and my time.  Let's respect each other more then that OK, this is not a game.  Thanks.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-25-2009 10:54 AM

And Ms HeartBeat, as a Relationship Advice Columnist, and The Author of the book "Sucka Free Love!" - you should be in 100% agreement with me.  I'm working on the same side as you - I am trying to keep good women away from "Suckas"!

How are we disconnected in this mission and message?  Thugs are automatically suckas, and non-thugs do not automatically qualify as good men, we know this - but they are at least 50% there in comparison to a thug, so a woman is at least moving in the right direction if she pick a more conservative man.  And, he is also less likely to be a player or a womanizer if he is not a tattooed up pretty-boy!

Please tell me you can understand this, if not - I am really worried!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - josephjrr - 06-25-2009 11:14 AM

I remember my aunt said something a while back to the effect of, "The quickest way to turn a young girl cold towards a boy is for their parents to like him."

Therefore, I can understand Ms Heartbeat's reaction....somewhat. However, I'll take my chances with my daughter dating someone who dresses like Tim's guy as opposed to someone who dresses like those thugs whose very manner, demeanor, and dress style say "F*** B*******!."


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Jakero's Sunshine - 06-25-2009 12:27 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

Ms HeartBeat Wrote:
Nobody is saying they aren't nice guys TIm.  I am saying HOW CAN A WOMAN KNOW THAT JUST BY LOOKING AT THEM.  Lots of nice guys are in the NBA and in colleges and universities that have tattoos.  That alone does not make a guy a bad person.  It's a generational thing as all these young folks are all drawn on! lol

All I am saying is that you guys are generalizing and saying "well if a guy is dressed in this manner he is a good guy."  Crooks and thieves and pimps all wear suits.  Some of the biggest and most successful drug dealers wear dockers and blazers to fit in and not draw attention to themselves. I worked in a brokerage firm and half them dudes were abusive assholes to their wives and coke heads to boot - but they were educated, successful, drove nice cars, lived in the right zip code, and wore expensive suits every day.

All I am saying that making instant judgments about a man or woman's "goodness" based on nothing but how they are dressed or how they look is very superficial and not smart.


Thats just a starting point - any fool who would marry someone or have a serious relationship with someone on the way they look WITHOUT GETTING TO KNOW THEM DEEPLY is a dumbass!  But yet people DO sleep with a person just because of the way they look - both male and female - and sometime they make babies!

And no, I am not saying all tattoos are bad, you have to look at how they wear them and why.  But also not everyone has them - they are by far a minority!

And I was never talking about the way they looked as far as good looking and attire - I was talking about looking at them as a whole, and their character.  You can see the first man has a gentle spirit and integrity - I don't even know why we are playing this game, and the no god men who won't even keep their clothes on for trying to be sexy lack much character.  I am asking women to look for the character, and the clues of it or lack of it as a starting point - and then check them out with a fine tooth comb for fleas and ticks - and at first siting of one KICK THE FOOL TO THE CURB AND RUN FULL SPEED IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!!!  And that is NOT what most young women do now a days.  They run IN the direction of the losers!

Ladies, why are you fighting me about this?  I am a man and I am lovingly from my heart trying to give women some sound inside advice about how to avoid a bad man and how to spot the good one and you fight me about it?  What is you point??  Is this just a game for you?  Well it is not for me - I am doing serious work here.  I want to help women to find a better value system in how they choose a man so we CAN have stronger families in which to raise up better future men and women.

Work with me ladies.  This thread doesn't require the same mindless arguing.  Why would it?  Anybody can clearly see the first guy is a nice centered man, and the second group is clearly not.  So why argue that - just for fun?  Please don't do that to me to waist my time, show more respect for the issues we have and my time.  Let's respect each other more then that OK, this is not a game.  Thanks.


Hi Tim and all....maybe I can help bridge the gap of the messages being sent between the men and women for this thread.  I see everyone's point here.  

I can understand what Tim is saying that good men often dress a certain way.  I personally love men who know how to dress appropriately.  It is a good message for a woman who is beginning to learn what to look for to increase her chances of finding a good man.

Now from the point of view of the women who were taken aback by the post...The first thing that came to my mind was a large group of guys that I knew from college.  They "looked" intelligent (I wince at that phrase), dressed just like the guys in the pics but were (and still are) the BIGGEST womanizers and whores I have ever known.  The well-dressed smart "good" guy was their game.  I think some of the women can relate to that and they are feeling that the presentation of this particular message (this is how a good man looks PERIOD) was a little off-putting.  

In my sweet little humble opinion, I think the root of all relationship problems is communication issues: men and women speak different "languages" and many of us don't want to learn to understand the other language.  One thing that I have had to learn to do in my relationship is that many guys tend to leave off some information by condensing.  I have even had to tell him that I am not a mind-reader and he cannot get mad with me for missing something that he didn't clarify or further explain.  Same thing with the way I explain things.  Now we understand each other and all is happy in our world.  Possibly if the post said this is what a good man usually looks like but you still need to get to know him (or something to that effect) the thread might not have taken the yucky turn that it did.  Now I know some of you are probably gonna get up in arms and say something like the women should automatically know that or the men are always taking things superficially, but I hope this helps both sides to understand what each other and we can all be harmonious again.  Icon_heartbeatIcon_biggrinIcon_heartbeat


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Demondog Prime - 06-25-2009 12:29 PM

queenbastet Wrote:
I can't believe the ladies are hating on this thread.... why?...  


Hi Queenbastet!

Are you familiar with the fable of The Fox and the Scorpion?


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-25-2009 12:37 PM

Jakero's Sunshine Wrote:
Hi Tim and all....maybe I can help bridge the gap of the messages being sent between the men and women for this thread.  I see everyone's point here.  

I can understand what Tim is saying that good men often dress a certain way.  I personally love men who know how to dress appropriately.  It is a good message for a woman who is beginning to learn what to look for to increase her chances of finding a good man.

Now from the point of view of the women who were taken aback by the post...The first thing that came to my mind was a large group of guys that I knew from college.  They "looked" intelligent (I wince at that phrase), dressed just like the guys in the pics but were (and still are) the BIGGEST womanizers and whores I have ever known.  The well-dressed smart "good" guy was their game.  I think some of the women can relate to that and they are feeling that the presentation of this particular message (this is how a good man looks PERIOD) was a little off-putting.  

In my sweet little humble opinion, I think the root of all relationship problems is communication issues: men and women speak different "languages" and many of us don't want to learn to understand the other language.  One thing that I have had to learn to do in my relationship is that many guys tend to leave off some information by condensing.  I have even had to tell him that I am not a mind-reader and he cannot get mad with me for missing something that he didn't clarify or further explain.  Same thing with the way I explain things.  Now we understand each other and all is happy in our world.  Possibly if the post said this is what a good man usually looks like but you still need to get to know him (or something to that effect) the thread might not have taken the yucky turn that it did.  Now I know some of you are probably gonna get up in arms and say something like the women should automatically know that or the men are always taking things superficially, but I hope this helps both sides to understand what each other and we can all be harmonious again.  Icon_heartbeatIcon_biggrinIcon_heartbeat


I said it over, and over and over again - is anybody listening?  This gets frustrating.  But yes, in all of your other points you are right.  Thank you Sunshine!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Jakero's Sunshine - 06-25-2009 12:43 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

Jakero's Sunshine Wrote:
Hi Tim and all....maybe I can help bridge the gap of the messages being sent between the men and women for this thread.  I see everyone's point here.  

I can understand what Tim is saying that good men often dress a certain way.  I personally love men who know how to dress appropriately.  It is a good message for a woman who is beginning to learn what to look for to increase her chances of finding a good man.

Now from the point of view of the women who were taken aback by the post...The first thing that came to my mind was a large group of guys that I knew from college.  They "looked" intelligent (I wince at that phrase), dressed just like the guys in the pics but were (and still are) the BIGGEST womanizers and whores I have ever known.  The well-dressed smart "good" guy was their game.  I think some of the women can relate to that and they are feeling that the presentation of this particular message (this is how a good man looks PERIOD) was a little off-putting.  

In my sweet little humble opinion, I think the root of all relationship problems is communication issues: men and women speak different "languages" and many of us don't want to learn to understand the other language.  One thing that I have had to learn to do in my relationship is that many guys tend to leave off some information by condensing.  I have even had to tell him that I am not a mind-reader and he cannot get mad with me for missing something that he didn't clarify or further explain.  Same thing with the way I explain things.  Now we understand each other and all is happy in our world.  Possibly if the post said this is what a good man usually looks like but you still need to get to know him (or something to that effect) the thread might not have taken the yucky turn that it did.  Now I know some of you are probably gonna get up in arms and say something like the women should automatically know that or the men are always taking things superficially, but I hope this helps both sides to understand what each other and we can all be harmonious again.  Icon_heartbeatIcon_biggrinIcon_heartbeat


I said it over, and over and over again - is anybody listening?  This gets frustrating.  But yes, in all of your other points you are right.  Thank you Sunshine!


Oh sorry, I meant like in the title and first post.  I think it was read and the mouths dropped from there.  But kudos for clarifying further for the ladies and other guests who may be reading along.  The gap between our two lands IS getting smaller!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-25-2009 12:47 PM

Here it is right here...

FilmmakerTimAlexander Wrote:
Thats just a starting point - any fool who would marry someone or have a serious relationship with someone on the way they look WITHOUT GETTING TO KNOW THEM DEEPLY is a dumbass!  But yet people DO sleep with a person just because of the way they look - booth male and female - and sometime they make babies!

And no, I am not saying all tattoos are bad, you have to look at how they wear them and why.  But also not everyone has them - they are by far a minority!

And I was never talking about the way they looked as far as good looking and attire - I was talking about looking at them as a whole, and their character.  You can see the first man has a gentle spirit and integrity - I don't even know why we are playing this game, and the no god men who won't even keep their clothes on for trying to be sexy lack much character.  I am asking women to look for the character, and the clues of it or lack of it as a starting point - and then check them out with a fine tooth comb for fleas and ticks - and at first sighting of one KICK THE FOOL TO THE CURB AND RUN FULL SPEED IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!!!  And that is NOT what most young women do now a days.  They run IN the direction of the losers!


I am not as one sided as I am so often perceived to be - and this is no the only post in this thread where I reiterated that the look alone is by far not it - but a starting point - AND THEN - you have to look at them with open eyes to see who he is as a man - and learn when to turn and walk away - and that is on of the biggest problems!  Women KEEP THE LOSERS once they have conclusively established that he is indeed truly a loser!  That is the biggest why of them all!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Rom Wills - 06-25-2009 03:36 PM

Greetings to those who care to listen,

    You know, this one of the sites I lurk on to see what's going with Black male/female relationships.  I pop in for a few minutes and then I roll out.   This thread has inspired me to post because the premise of the thread is extremely flawed as quite a few posters have already pointed out.  

    The bottom line is that you cannot judge whether someone is a good or bad man just by their outer appearance.   The biggest dogs, players, womanizers, and yes thugs aren't walking around with their pants off their butts nor do they have several tattoos.   The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.  

    I know this because I wrote the BOOKS on players, http://www.ihbooks.com.   Two posters on this thread, my beautiful sister, Ms. Heartbeat, and my fam, Demondog, know how I roll.

    This thread moved me though for a more personal reason.  I've been married for 8 years and with my wife for 10 years.  My wife would accompany me when I would be promoting my books either at an expo or a seminar.   We noticed an interesting thing.   The so-called clean-cut guys would always be the ones who would try holla at her on the sly.  The so-called "thugs" would be the ones who would show respect.   One time we had a booth at an expo promoting my first book, and my wife told me that whenever I stepped away from the booth the brotha in the next booth would try to make eye contact.   We didn't think anything of it because my wife is ALL THAT and brothas always going to look.   Anyway I stepped away one time and when I returned this CLEAN-CUT brotha who looked a little like the brotha in the picture was at my booth trying to get his rap on despite my wife shooting him a leave me the f**k alone vibe.  So as I was about to go to his jaw, he started stuttering and stammering talking about how his mother taught him to be respectful, blah, blah, blah.   For real, I just unballed my fist, smirked at the bama,and sold him a book.   That wasn't the first nor last incident with with that type of brotha.  

   Many men use being clean cut to their advantage.  Ask me how I know.  I was a straight player back in the day.   Any sister who knew me back in the day would tell you I looked very clean-cut.   Some even said that's what attracted them to me.   Also keep in mind, that I have both college and law degrees and my peer group consisted primarily of brothas who dogged women like it was a sport.   These same brothas were my law school classmates and other brothas with advanced degrees.  

    A reality is that MOST sisters don't go for thugs.   There's that perception but it's not reality.   If I take off my ring, throw on a suit, and walk into a situation where there are 100 black women of different socio-economic backgrounds, along with five thug-looking brothas,  I guarantee I'll get more attention than those "thugs" put together.  Women, regardless of race, always look to trade up.   A woman will mess with a "thug" only if she truly like she doesn't have a better option.

    Honestly, we need to get away from that whole appearance thing.  If a person is considered attractive it's because it radiates from within.  We can't get caught into that this is bad man/woman because he/she looks like this or he/she is a good man/woman because he/she look like this.   It only makes the problem worse.

Think on this.

Peace,
Rom Wills


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-25-2009 04:37 PM

You are just talking about cheating and men trying to get at an attractive woman - that will always happen - HELL, everybody does that!  It happens with men, women; across all social economic levels, from presidents to the lowest street thugs!  So what, that is ubiquitous to all people!  

That is not my point.  And the thugs didn't spit at your wife because they were a bit off base, and were intimidated by not knowing how to make their approach on a classy woman.  They knew they couldn't just walk up and holler "Hey Shawty" at her and woo her.  If they could have collected themselves and figured out a comfortable approach - they would have spit!  Those kind of dudes always get polite when they are in a fish-out-of-water situation - they start saying "Sir" and "Ma'am" a lot.  They don't want to fall on their faces, so they go deep down and pull out all of the few gentlemanly skills they have so they can try to fit.  They were out classed and knew it, so they restrained themselves - but put those same dudes in their own environment - a whole different ghetto fab ball game then!

I am pointing out that at least you have a chance with the more conservative men - the obvious thugs are almost 100% a no go if you are looking for a good man!  It is really simple.  One thing that is safe to say most good men don't look like the ones in the lower photos.  I said START with a decent clean cut man - who has a shirt on, and pants that fit, and no tattoos on his face, without 5 kids he doesn't take care of, who can articulate a good sentence, and who has a job that he shows up to on time everyday - THEN you have to start the process of looking deeper into him to see if he is a good man AFTER that initial pre-qualifier!

The thugs - just don't even bother in the first place!  Wow people - how much drama are you going to try to extract from such a simple concept?

And a well dressed educated corporate thug is still a thug!  They are well dressed yes - BUT FLASHY!  That is just a dapper thug.  Same thing - different style.  I am saying look at the man's spirit and his uniform to cross reference them to see if they match to make an initial assessment of his character.  If a woman is out at a night spot, and men from both groups of photos are in the club trying to talk to her - it should be obvious which men she should exchange her number with if she is looking to meet a nice guy!  That is all I am saying.  That's it.  It's not that deep or complicated.  Relax people.

Can I get some back-up from a few posters who actually get this!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - koolkc107 - 06-25-2009 04:53 PM

Rom Wills Wrote:
Greetings to those who care to listen,

    You know, this one of the sites I lurk on to see what's going with Black male/female relationships.  I pop in for a few minutes and then I roll out.   This thread has inspired me to post because the premise of the thread is extremely flawed as quite a few posters have already pointed out.  

    The bottom line is that you cannot judge whether someone is a good or bad man just by their outer appearance.   The biggest dogs, players, womanizers, and yes thugs aren't walking around with their pants off their butts nor do they have several tattoos.   The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.  

    I know this because I wrote the BOOKS on players, http://www.ihbooks.com.   Two posters on this thread, my beautiful sister, Ms. Heartbeat, and my fam, Demondog, know how I roll.

    This thread moved me though for a more personal reason.  I've been married for 8 years and with my wife for 10 years.  My wife would accompany me when I would be promoting my books either at an expo or a seminar.   We noticed an interesting thing.   The so-called clean-cut guys would always be the ones who would try holla at her on the sly.  The so-called "thugs" would be the ones who would show respect.   One time we had a booth at an expo promoting my first book, and my wife told me that whenever I stepped away from the booth the brotha in the next booth would try to make eye contact.   We didn't think anything of it because my wife is ALL THAT and brothas always going to look.   Anyway I stepped away one time and when I returned this CLEAN-CUT brotha who looked a little like the brotha in the picture was at my booth trying to get his rap on despite my wife shooting him a leave me the f**k alone vibe.  So as I was about to go to his jaw, he started stuttering and stammering talking about how his mother taught him to be respectful, blah, blah, blah.   For real, I just unballed my fist, smirked at the bama,and sold him a book.   That wasn't the first nor last incident with with that type of brotha.  

   Many men use being clean cut to their advantage.  Ask me how I know.  I was a straight player back in the day.   Any sister who knew me back in the day would tell you I looked very clean-cut.   Some even said that's what attracted them to me.   Also keep in mind, that I have both college and law degrees and my peer group consisted primarily of brothas who dogged women like it was a sport.   These same brothas were my law school classmates and other brothas with advanced degrees.  

    A reality is that MOST sisters don't go for thugs.   There's that perception but it's not reality.   If I take off my ring, throw on a suit, and walk into a situation where there are 100 black women of different socio-economic backgrounds, along with five thug-looking brothas,  I guarantee I'll get more attention than those "thugs" put together.  Women, regardless of race, always look to trade up.   A woman will mess with a "thug" only if she truly like she doesn't have a better option.

    Honestly, we need to get away from that whole appearance thing.  If a person is considered attractive it's because it radiates from within.  We can't get caught into that this is bad man/woman because he/she looks like this or he/she is a good man/woman because he/she look like this.   It only makes the problem worse.

Think on this.

Peace,
Rom Wills


Very good post and your points are well made and readily accepted anecdotally . But, your personal experience does not automatically translate to the reality of what is going on in society in general. I find it somewhat dishonest for you to imply that men who obviously embrace the BET/MTV video persona and mentality would as a group have as high or higher a moral standard than men who do not. Men will sometimes be men, and at times as a group we do not always exhibit the fidelity women would like us to. That isn't a "thug" thing or a "classy guy" thing; it's a man thing. But what you failed to discuss in your post was a theme that is a central one to this forum- responsibility. In other words, even if you allow that the "thugs" and the "clean-cut" guys exhibit similar dog-like behavior in their pursuit of women (and I do not concede this, by the way), I don't think there is any question which group would act more responsibly if and when a child was produced from one of these illicit liasons. If you have indeed been perusing or lurking in this forum as you maintain, then you'd know that the data to draw this same inference is here. You do yourself in particular and black men in general a great disservice by buying in to this "we are all dogs" mindset. Ask yourself this question: how many of your "dog" cleancut friends would shirk their responsibilties as fathers if they became one. My guess is not many, and therein lies one of the big differences. There are many good men in this forum that have in the past been dogs, made mistakes, etc. One of the things that separates them from thugs is how they've dealt with their errors.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Ms HeartBeat - 06-25-2009 05:11 PM

Hey Rommmmmmm!!!!  Long time no see brotha!  I'm so happy to see you made your way onto this forum so that you could talk some sense into these men.  I've noticed that they will argue you to the death about their fixed opinions about Black women, based on nothing more than their small worlds.  They refuse to listen to the viewpoints of women that are strong, intelligent, raised by solid Black men, that do not at all fit the molds they hold so near and dear about Black womanhood. Having never met and exchanged ideas with such a woman, they cannot bear the thought that OHMYGAWD, they just might be WRONG!!!

In this thread as you see, they did not want to accept the fact that rushing to embrace preconceived notions about a man's "goodness" based on appearance might be a problem.  This man is deemed to be better.  These same men will rip a woman to shreds if she were to get with such a man and he *even 20 years later* dog her out because "she should have known he wasn't a good guy."  

A woman can never meet these wishy washy unrealistic expectations that women have super mind reading and see into the future powers.  

Really Rom, I'd rather take my chances with a real talking, knows who he is streety brotha.  I've found them to be much more honest about who and what they are, where they come from, and what they can or cannot do with and for you.  They leave it up to you if you want to play or not, which is honest. They relate to men differently as well. They know the code and adhere to it.  That's why they didn't step to your woman cause in their world, you die for some shyt like that.  Its a respect thing that these knuckleheaded clean cut looking dudes don't know nothing about until they get capped.  

But anyway I am glad you are actually posting.  For those that want to listen, here is a link to Rom's interview on my radio show last spring entitled

NICE GUYS vs. PLAYERS: WHY PLAYERS GET THE WOMEN AND NICE GUYS DON'T GET NO LOVE!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - vcthree - 06-25-2009 05:49 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
And Ms HeartBeat, as a Relationship Advice Columnist, and The Author of the book "Sucka Free Love!" - you should be in 100% agreement with me.  I'm working on the same side as you - I am trying to keep good women away from "Suckas"!

How are we disconnected in this mission and message?  Thugs are automatically suckas, and non-thugs do not automatically qualify as good men, we know this - but they are at least 50% there in comparison to a thug, so a woman is at least moving in the right direction if she pick a more conservative man.  And, he is also less likely to be a player or a womanizer if he is not a tattooed up pretty-boy!

Please tell me you can understand this, if not - I am really worried!


Apparently, some just don't want to listen.  No, they would rather work this site for plugs and continue the same tired rhetoric all the same.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Ms HeartBeat - 06-25-2009 05:52 PM

VC, didn't your mother tell you that if you don't have anything nice to say, not to say anything at all.  I'm gonna tell her you acting up in public!

And what is there for me to listen to?  I am never gonna pick a man based on how he looks.  NEVER.  But if you guys want to do that, fine with me.  I just don't think its a smart thing to do but you're grown and fully entitled to do whatever you want. Have at it.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 06-25-2009 06:30 PM

Rom Wills Wrote:
Greetings to those who care to listen,

    You know, this one of the sites I lurk on to see what's going with Black male/female relationships.  I pop in for a few minutes and then I roll out.   This thread has inspired me to post because the premise of the thread is extremely flawed as quite a few posters have already pointed out.  

    The bottom line is that you cannot judge whether someone is a good or bad man just by their outer appearance.   The biggest dogs, players, womanizers, and yes thugs aren't walking around with their pants off their butts nor do they have several tattoos.   The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.  

    I know this because I wrote the BOOKS on players, http://www.ihbooks.com.   Two posters on this thread, my beautiful sister, Ms. Heartbeat, and my fam, Demondog, know how I roll.

    This thread moved me though for a more personal reason.  I've been married for 8 years and with my wife for 10 years.  My wife would accompany me when I would be promoting my books either at an expo or a seminar.   We noticed an interesting thing.   The so-called clean-cut guys would always be the ones who would try holla at her on the sly.  The so-called "thugs" would be the ones who would show respect.   One time we had a booth at an expo promoting my first book, and my wife told me that whenever I stepped away from the booth the brotha in the next booth would try to make eye contact.   We didn't think anything of it because my wife is ALL THAT and brothas always going to look.   Anyway I stepped away one time and when I returned this CLEAN-CUT brotha who looked a little like the brotha in the picture was at my booth trying to get his rap on despite my wife shooting him a leave me the f**k alone vibe.  So as I was about to go to his jaw, he started stuttering and stammering talking about how his mother taught him to be respectful, blah, blah, blah.   For real, I just unballed my fist, smirked at the bama,and sold him a book.   That wasn't the first nor last incident with with that type of brotha.  

   Many men use being clean cut to their advantage.  Ask me how I know.  I was a straight player back in the day.   Any sister who knew me back in the day would tell you I looked very clean-cut.   Some even said that's what attracted them to me.   Also keep in mind, that I have both college and law degrees and my peer group consisted primarily of brothas who dogged women like it was a sport.   These same brothas were my law school classmates and other brothas with advanced degrees.  

    A reality is that MOST sisters don't go for thugs.   There's that perception but it's not reality.   If I take off my ring, throw on a suit, and walk into a situation where there are 100 black women of different socio-economic backgrounds, along with five thug-looking brothas,  I guarantee I'll get more attention than those "thugs" put together.  Women, regardless of race, always look to trade up.   A woman will mess with a "thug" only if she truly like she doesn't have a better option.

    Honestly, we need to get away from that whole appearance thing.  If a person is considered attractive it's because it radiates from within.  We can't get caught into that this is bad man/woman because he/she looks like this or he/she is a good man/woman because he/she look like this.   It only makes the problem worse.

Think on this.

Peace,
Rom Wills

Icon_up


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - queenbastet - 06-25-2009 08:01 PM

These again are 4 guys that I know personally...
2 are what u would call "bad" in relationships and the other two are "good" in relationships.  
The reason I'm adding these is to show that yes there is some weight to the argument that there is not a "good" look but I agree with Tim's assertion, that there is a certain way that a "good" man carries himself and your chances are much better approaching a man with that look.

now take these guys for example.


this guy is a bad guy because he is "in love" with the idea of settling down and marrying but he doesn't really want to.    He's actually cool as shit and a fun friend and he is hard working.
This is what I call a "toxic bachelor" because he wants to settle down, not because he wants to but because his deceased father and mother and other family members always expected him to do this.

but he just doesnt have the desire to "give" of himself to a woman... he doesnt desire to be a nurturing protector... his traits are best served as a soloist with friends.


This guy is just plain dirty.  He's just not faithful... never has been and probably never will be.  


now take a look at this guy.  He looks similar to the one above him in style.  
If u saw them standing next to each other ud have no chance judging them on their style BUT
take a look at their eyes.  I know i know I blotted out the bad boys eyes,  u can sense the smugness in his smile.  
if u could see his eyes u would see the difference.  this good guy in this picture has a genuine warmth and desire to comfort and make a woman smile.  and u can see that in his eyes.
so if the style of clothes fails at a FIRST IMPRESSION (ONLY) then look him in the eye and sense the vibration he is sending out.


this guy is similar to the first two that I added EARLIER in the thread ...
here are the first two guys...
    

the first two guys and this last guy are BEAUTIFUL ... and all do modeling on the side of their work.  BUT... though they are beautiful, well dressed and suave... they are actually very good faithful kind and caring men.  
so if u see a guy who looks like this one, and u say to urself "damn he's too beautiful  ... I just cant risk it.."  
DONT DO THAT.  
judging a man because he's too good looking is just as bad as judgin him for not being good looking enough.
U DONT KNOW WHAT U MIGHT BE MISSING OUT ON.

AND FELLAS... SAME IS TRUE OF WOMEN....
dont think just because she is beautiful and carries herself in a proud way that she's goin to be that type out for ur money and ready to bounce when she finds summin better... I get that alot because I look stuck up apparently at first impression... Ive heard this many times...
so the same for u...
  the eyes speak volumes.  so take a look and if u like the vibe, spark a conversation and see where it leads.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - josephjrr - 06-25-2009 08:04 PM

Rom Wrote:

Quote:
The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.


You got any stats/evidence besides your twisted logic to back this up? If you and Ms Heartneat's point is that we need to beware of ALL men then I think we get your point but lets not be so eager to discredit everything that Tim says that you'll try and pull some rediculous logic like that out your azz.

The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office in jail or on a street corner hustlin rather than in a corner office doing something productive.

There ya go fixed!

Oh and just in case you didn't get the memo, brothas in an office aint such a terrible thing in case you didn't notice we got a brotha in the best damn corner office in the world holdin it down on the homefront and on the Western front (literally the Western world man).


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-25-2009 11:27 PM

YES!  Thank you josephjrr!  Welcome to the TBM forum -  you are my kind of guy!!

Pleeeese post often my brotha!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Rom Wills - 06-26-2009 02:17 AM

josephjrr Wrote:
Rom Wrote:

Quote:
The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.


You got any stats/evidence besides your twisted logic to back this up? If you and Ms Heartneat's point is that we need to beware of ALL men then I think we get your point but lets not be so eager to discredit everything that Tim says that you'll try and pull some rediculous logic like that out your azz.

The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office in jail or on a street corner hustlin rather than in a corner office doing something productive.

There ya go fixed!

Oh and just in case you didn't get the memo, brothas in an office aint such a terrible thing in case you didn't notice we got a brotha in the best damn corner office in the world holdin it down on the homefront and on the Western front (literally the Western world man).


Josephrr,

    I see you didn't quote the part of my post where I said I have college and law degrees.   St. Joseph's University, Philadelphia, PA, Class of 1987.  American University Law School, Washington, DC Class of 1990.   Professional brothas ARE my peer group.  I don't need stats to back up a lifestyle that I LIVED with similar Black men.   Speaking of which I'm maybe two degrees of separation from that BROTHA in the White House.   One of my best friends is a highly respected political commentor.

   Where are your degrees from?  

    The sisters I dealt with when I was single were the ELITE sisters many of whom now are attorneys and doctors.  Many were Deltas and AKA's.  My wife is AKA.   So I know how the ELITE sistas get down.   As a group they ain't messing with any thugs.   They look down on men who are not on their level.    

     These ELITE brothas and sistas don't even socialize the same way as other black folks.  

     So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.  All Black men are not "Tired Blackman".  The most SOME Blackmen are tired of is dealing with so many fine-ass Black women chasing them while clueless brothas are thinking that "thugs" run the game.  

   Think on this.

Rom - Hand over fist.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Rom Wills - 06-26-2009 02:19 AM

Tim Alexander,

   Tell me, do you want really want a dialogue or do you want to promote your own viewpoint which quite frankly IS NOT universal among Black Men?

Rom - Architect of the House of the Man


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Purposed_1/Alvin III - 06-26-2009 03:39 AM

I agree with QueenBastet,

We have to to look deeper and take more time in finding out exactly who we are messing with. Yeah, that means studying those eyes and feeling those vibes. The only way you do that is have some REAL TALK conversation about deeper things, AND to watch their actions. So many of us however move so fast on the sexual chemistry thing, we find out AFTER THE FACT we are dealing with a FOOL (again). We don't know how to maintain healthy sexual tension while discovering a person, and we "bonin" before we "knowin". WHERE HAS IT GOTTEN MOST OF US.......... OPERATING THIS WAY?  We lost the art of keeping more "head" in a situation than heart, in the beginning of that situation. We have completely minimized all objectivity in meeting people, when it comes to CHARACTER. Some of us are Objective as hell though when it comes to accomplishments and STATUS........which is only a small part of Character. How many crooked, but powerful, and prominent people must we see to understand that principle.


queenbastet Wrote:
These again are 4 guys that I know personally...
2 are what u would call "bad" in relationships and the other two are "good" in relationships.  
The reason I'm adding these is to show that yes there is some weight to the argument that there is not a "good" look but I agree with Tim's assertion, that there is a certain way that a "good" man carries himself and your chances are much better approaching a man with that look.

now take these guys for example.


this guy is a bad guy because he is "in love" with the idea of settling down and marrying but he doesn't really want to.    He's actually cool as shit and a fun friend and he is hard working.
This is what I call a "toxic bachelor" because he wants to settle down, not because he wants to but because his deceased father and mother and other family members always expected him to do this.

but he just doesnt have the desire to "give" of himself to a woman... he doesnt desire to be a nurturing protector... his traits are best served as a soloist with friends.


This guy is just plain dirty.  He's just not faithful... never has been and probably never will be.  


now take a look at this guy.  He looks similar to the one above him in style.  
If u saw them standing next to each other ud have no chance judging them on their style BUT
take a look at their eyes.  I know i know I blotted out the bad boys eyes,  u can sense the smugness in his smile.  
if u could see his eyes u would see the difference.  this good guy in this picture has a genuine warmth and desire to comfort and make a woman smile.  and u can see that in his eyes.
so if the style of clothes fails at a FIRST IMPRESSION (ONLY) then look him in the eye and sense the vibration he is sending out.


this guy is similar to the first two that I added EARLIER in the thread ...
here are the first two guys...
    

the first two guys and this last guy are BEAUTIFUL ... and all do modeling on the side of their work.  BUT... though they are beautiful, well dressed and suave... they are actually very good faithful kind and caring men.  
so if u see a guy who looks like this one, and u say to urself "damn he's too beautiful  ... I just cant risk it.."  
DONT DO THAT.  
judging a man because he's too good looking is just as bad as judgin him for not being good looking enough.
U DONT KNOW WHAT U MIGHT BE MISSING OUT ON.

AND FELLAS... SAME IS TRUE OF WOMEN....
dont think just because she is beautiful and carries herself in a proud way that she's goin to be that type out for ur money and ready to bounce when she finds summin better... I get that alot because I look stuck up apparently at first impression... Ive heard this many times...
so the same for u...
  the eyes speak volumes.  so take a look and if u like the vibe, spark a conversation and see where it leads.




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - koolkc107 - 06-26-2009 04:27 AM

Rom Wills Wrote:

josephjrr Wrote:
Rom Wrote:

Quote:
The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.


You got any stats/evidence besides your twisted logic to back this up? If you and Ms Heartneat's point is that we need to beware of ALL men then I think we get your point but lets not be so eager to discredit everything that Tim says that you'll try and pull some rediculous logic like that out your azz.

The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office in jail or on a street corner hustlin rather than in a corner office doing something productive.

There ya go fixed!

Oh and just in case you didn't get the memo, brothas in an office aint such a terrible thing in case you didn't notice we got a brotha in the best damn corner office in the world holdin it down on the homefront and on the Western front (literally the Western world man).


Josephrr,

    I see you didn't quote the part of my post where I said I have college and law degrees.   St. Joseph's University, Philadelphia, PA, Class of 1987.  American University Law School, Washington, DC Class of 1990.   Professional brothas ARE my peer group.  I don't need stats to back up a lifestyle that I LIVED with similar Black men.   Speaking of which I'm maybe two degrees of separation from that BROTHA in the White House.   One of my best friends is a highly respected political commentor.

   Where are your degrees from?  

    The sisters I dealt with when I was single were the ELITE sisters many of whom now are attorneys and doctors.  Many were Deltas and AKA's.  My wife is AKA.   So I know how the ELITE sistas get down.   As a group they ain't messing with any thugs.   They look down on men who are not on their level.    

     These ELITE brothas and sistas don't even socialize the same way as other black folks.  

     So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.  All Black men are not "Tired Blackman".  The most SOME Blackmen are tired of is dealing with so many fine-ass Black women chasing them while clueless brothas are thinking that "thugs" run the game.  

   Think on this.

Rom - Hand over fist.


What does your law degree have to do with an honest request for statistics to back up an assertion some may find spurious? As an attorney, one would think you would readily rely more upon cold hard facts than "twisted logic you pull out your azz". As I posted previously, I readily accept the truth of what you say on an anecdotal level. I freely concede that it has in all likelihood been your experience that clean cut guys are dogs. After all, that would seem to be the only types of men you interact with on a regular basis. You have written that your peer group is educated men and that the women you and they interact with are also educated (sorority sisters are by definition college educated). Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but your life stories are not what most of Black America has experienced, although I wish that this was not the case. While your social strata is a definite real sub-segment of black society, it is not at all representative of the whole. Surely, your degrees of higher learning should help you discern this truth. As you yourself just posted:  

These ELITE brothas and sistas don't even socialize the same way as other black folks.  

So I must ask, why in God's name would you come into a forum that is trying to address the rampant deterioration of the relationships of Black society as a whole, and offer your paltry limited experience as a rebuttal to the obvious reality?

By the way, the following statement raised my eyebrows:

     So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.

I hope that this is not indicative of your outlook towards all brothers and sisters who happen to not have been as fortunate as you. To imply that there is nothing you can learn from someone who is not so-called "elite" may say many things about you and I would argue that not much of it is positive. Shake yourself, brother.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - queenbastet - 06-26-2009 05:09 AM

Thanks Alvin.  
I was trying to show where the disconnect was between the two opinions here.  
We all know that we can't judge on "looks" alone ... so I posted the pics that I did, to show how people give off a particular vibe and if u are attuned to feeling that out, it can help you get a better judgment at first appearance.  

The guy in the red shirt,
get a HELL of a lot of female attention because he has that charismatic brooding edge about him.  They become mesmerized by this charisma and his muscular build and masculine dominance until... they realize that's all he has to offer... is that and money.  

The guy in the white shirt
usually fails as soon as he opens his mouth because he's not that "informed"
so he has adopted a tendency to speak as little as possible, and be more of a smart ass to hide the fact that he doesnt know shit... and to hide that he's just after the booty.  So girls tend to think this type of man is just reserved...

both of these guys are not going to pursue anywoman for long and at the end of it, the woman may wrongly judge all men by their behavior.

but the other 4 men that I've posted are entirely different.
But if u notice the good guy in the tan shirt with the cap on... he dresses like an average working class man, very similar to what the guy in the white shirt wears, BUT that VIBE is entirely different.  He is caring and romantic and genuine... and yes it is discernable from the first impression.
OF course u can NEVER judge on only that... but that initial vibe is at least an indicator of what lies beneath.  It's not always successful    
BUT UR MORE LIKELY TO HAVE SUCCESS IF U KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR.  looks and vibe.
But I agree with what Tim did with this thread.  Tim is offering suggestions on what to look for on that first meeting... not that u should devote urself to a man based on a look... but just helping give a guide for the way a good man TENDS TO carry himself.  

Thanks again Alvin.  

Purposed_1/Alvin III Wrote:
I agree with QueenBastet,

We have to to look deeper and take more time in finding out exactly who we are messing with. Yeah, that means studying those eyes and feeling those vibes. The only way you do that is have some REAL TALK conversation about deeper things, AND to watch their actions. So many of us however move so fast on the sexual chemistry thing, we find out AFTER THE FACT we are dealing with a FOOL (again). We don't know how to maintain healthy sexual tension while discovering a person, and we "bonin" before we "knowin". WHERE HAS IT GOTTEN MOST OF US.......... OPERATING THIS WAY?  We lost the art of keeping more "head" in a situation than heart, in the beginning of that situation. We have completely minimized all objectivity in meeting people, when it comes to CHARACTER. Some of us are Objective as hell though when it comes to accomplishments and STATUS........which is only a small part of Character. How many crooked, but powerful, and prominent people must we see to understand that principle.


queenbastet Wrote:
These again are 4 guys that I know personally...
2 are what u would call "bad" in relationships and the other two are "good" in relationships.  




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-26-2009 06:45 AM

Rom Wills Wrote:
Tim Alexander,

   Tell me, do you want really want a dialogue or do you want to promote your own viewpoint which quite frankly IS NOT universal among Black Men?

Rom - Architect of the House of the Man


Yes I want a dialogue, that is why I am nearing 5,000 posts here, and my site motto is "Creating a DIALOGUE For Change" - you just got here after lurking and have a total of 3 posts - do you want a dialogue now?  Or are you here to promote your book, yourself and your law degrees?  I have been here talking with everybody for 3 1/2 years now! Icon_razz2

And - NO viewpoint is universal to black men - no viewpoint is universal to anybody for that matter - not even yours.  And why are you blasting in here all of a sudden like gang busters on this issue?  You haven't found any useful topic in this forum that you can build up - instead of a guideline for women looking for a man that you are trying to tear down?  Please.  We were doing just fine before you came in here to rescue everybody from my non-universal point of view.  I guess everybody needs a little attention. Icon_razz2

So YOU are the "Architect of the House of the Man" huh.  Wow, so I guess YOU are the keeper of the "Universal Viewpoint" of all black men.  Or are you here to sell books to a captive group of black men and women I have assembled here?

Again, we have been doing just fine here before your gallant entry into this forum thread, thanks.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 06-26-2009 08:01 AM

Rom Wills Wrote:

josephjrr Wrote:
Rom Wrote:

Quote:
The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.


You got any stats/evidence besides your twisted logic to back this up? If you and Ms Heartneat's point is that we need to beware of ALL men then I think we get your point but lets not be so eager to discredit everything that Tim says that you'll try and pull some rediculous logic like that out your azz.

The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office in jail or on a street corner hustlin rather than in a corner office doing something productive.

There ya go fixed!

Oh and just in case you didn't get the memo, brothas in an office aint such a terrible thing in case you didn't notice we got a brotha in the best damn corner office in the world holdin it down on the homefront and on the Western front (literally the Western world man).


Josephrr,

    I see you didn't quote the part of my post where I said I have college and law degrees.   St. Joseph's University, Philadelphia, PA, Class of 1987.  American University Law School, Washington, DC Class of 1990.   Professional brothas ARE my peer group.  I don't need stats to back up a lifestyle that I LIVED with similar Black men.   Speaking of which I'm maybe two degrees of separation from that BROTHA in the White House.   One of my best friends is a highly respected political commentor.

   Where are your degrees from?  

    The sisters I dealt with when I was single were the ELITE sisters many of whom now are attorneys and doctors.  Many were Deltas and AKA's.  My wife is AKA.   So I know how the ELITE sistas get down.   As a group they ain't messing with any thugs.   They look down on men who are not on their level.    

     These ELITE brothas and sistas don't even socialize the same way as other black folks.  

     So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.  All Black men are not "Tired Blackman".  The most SOME Blackmen are tired of is dealing with so many fine-ass Black women chasing them while clueless brothas are thinking that "thugs" run the game.  

   Think on this.

Rom - Hand over fist.


Thank you for this.  I have been trying to tell these "tired" men that a lot of what they are dealing with are class issues and that many of them could be solved by moving away from the hood and leaving behind their hood mentalities. Most educated black woman aren't looking for a thug.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - skii - 06-26-2009 08:14 AM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

Rom Wills Wrote:
Tim Alexander,

   Tell me, do you want really want a dialogue or do you want to promote your own viewpoint which quite frankly IS NOT universal among Black Men?

Rom - Architect of the House of the Man


Yes I want a dialogue, that is why I am nearing 5,000 posts here, and my site motto is "Creating a DIALOGUE For Change" - you just got here after lurking and have a total of 3 posts - do you want a dialogue now?  Or are you here to promote your book, yourself and your law degrees?  I have been here talking with everybody for 3 1/2 years now! Icon_razz2

And - NO viewpoint is universal to black men - no viewpoint is universal to anybody for that matter - not even yours.  And why are you blasting in here all of a sudden like gang busters on this issue?  You haven't found any useful topic in this forum that you can build up - instead of a guideline for women looking for a man that you are trying to tear down?  Please.  We were doing just fine before you came in here to rescue everybody from my non-universal point of view.  I guess everybody needs a little attention. Icon_razz2

So YOU are the "Architect of the House of the Man" huh.  Wow, so I guess YOU are the keeper of the "Universal Viewpoint" of all black men.  Or are you here to sell books to a captive group of black men and women I have assembled here?

Again, we have been doing just fine here before your gallant entry into this forum thread, thanks.


Actually Tim, one has to just look around at the tumble weeds blowing through this forum to see that this place isn't doing very well.  And you often offer your uneducated, high school drop out opinion as truth(the only truth) and logic, when it is anything but.  It is obvious that different opinions are not welcomed by you.  Especially if they come from someone who obviously smarter and more educated than you are.  Your guideline for women was nonsensical, and any woman who takes your advice would likely find herself in trouble.  I know that you will never admit it, because admitting that you are wrong isn't your strong suit, but the opinion you gave in this thread was simply bad advice.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-26-2009 08:23 AM

Nobody answer her.  Stay quiet, we don't talk to her.  She is only here to attack us, and we won't answer.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Yeah its CEE CEE - 06-26-2009 08:30 AM

josephjrr Wrote:
Rom Wrote:

Quote:
The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.


You got any stats/evidence besides your twisted logic to back this up? If you and Ms Heartneat's point is that we need to beware of ALL men then I think we get your point but lets not be so eager to discredit everything that Tim says that you'll try and pull some rediculous logic like that out your azz.

The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office in jail or on a street corner hustlin rather than in a corner office doing something productive.

There ya go fixed!

Oh and just in case you didn't get the memo, brothas in an office aint such a terrible thing in case you didn't notice we got a brotha in the best damn corner office in the world holdin it down on the homefront and on the Western front (literally the Western world man).



There are bad men in both. I don't do the sagging pants type of dude but im also not fooled by a suit and briefcase. I hold them under a  huge magnifying glass too.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 06-26-2009 08:32 AM

Yeah its CEE CEE Wrote:

josephjrr Wrote:
Rom Wrote:

Quote:
The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.


You got any stats/evidence besides your twisted logic to back this up? If you and Ms Heartneat's point is that we need to beware of ALL men then I think we get your point but lets not be so eager to discredit everything that Tim says that you'll try and pull some rediculous logic like that out your azz.

The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office in jail or on a street corner hustlin rather than in a corner office doing something productive.

There ya go fixed!

Oh and just in case you didn't get the memo, brothas in an office aint such a terrible thing in case you didn't notice we got a brotha in the best damn corner office in the world holdin it down on the homefront and on the Western front (literally the Western world man).



There are bad men in both. I don't do the sagging pants type of dude but im also not fooled by a suit and briefcase. I hold them under a  huge magnifying glass too.




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 06-26-2009 08:33 AM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Nobody answer her.  Stay quiet, we don't talk to her.  She is only here to attack us, and we won't answer.


You just answered me.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - writerchic80 - 06-26-2009 09:47 AM

Rom Wills Wrote:

josephjrr Wrote:
Rom Wrote:

Quote:
The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.


You got any stats/evidence besides your twisted logic to back this up? If you and Ms Heartneat's point is that we need to beware of ALL men then I think we get your point but lets not be so eager to discredit everything that Tim says that you'll try and pull some rediculous logic like that out your azz.

The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office in jail or on a street corner hustlin rather than in a corner office doing something productive.

There ya go fixed!

Oh and just in case you didn't get the memo, brothas in an office aint such a terrible thing in case you didn't notice we got a brotha in the best damn corner office in the world holdin it down on the homefront and on the Western front (literally the Western world man).


Josephrr,

    I see you didn't quote the part of my post where I said I have college and law degrees.   St. Joseph's University, Philadelphia, PA, Class of 1987.  American University Law School, Washington, DC Class of 1990.   Professional brothas ARE my peer group.  I don't need stats to back up a lifestyle that I LIVED with similar Black men.   Speaking of which I'm maybe two degrees of separation from that BROTHA in the White House.   One of my best friends is a highly respected political commentor.

   Where are your degrees from?  

    The sisters I dealt with when I was single were the ELITE sisters many of whom now are attorneys and doctors.  Many were Deltas and AKA's.  My wife is AKA.   So I know how the ELITE sistas get down.   As a group they ain't messing with any thugs.   They look down on men who are not on their level.    

     These ELITE brothas and sistas don't even socialize the same way as other black folks.  

     So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.  All Black men are not "Tired Blackman".  The most SOME Blackmen are tired of is dealing with so many fine-ass Black women chasing them while clueless brothas are thinking that "thugs" run the game.  

   Think on this.

Rom - Hand over fist.


Rom . . . Welcome to the Forum!

I commend you on your achievements. I am sure you worked very hard to attain the level of success that you have. However, I disagree with the tone of your post (correct me if I misunderstood your point).

I think the message of this thread is that most good black men carry themselves as such. They aren't flashy, or boastful, or too proud. They are subtle, neat, and have nothing to prove. Thus, their outer beauty is a reflection of how beautiful they are on the inside. Typically, a mature, self-aware man will not walk around sagging his pants and wearing wife-beaters in public. It seems that the thread was just meant to showcase the good brothas out there (let me rephrase that the . . .pre-screened good brothas, lol). We all know better to judge a possible mate by their looks, that should've gone without saying.

As far as your post is concerned it came off as a little arrogant. You have thrown around "elite" as if having an education and hobknobbing with political commmentators somehow makes you . . . dare I say it . . . better? More refined? That reigning from a fraternity and socializing with fellow greeks allows you a seat on Mt. Olympus? It is ok be proud of what you have accomplished - I am too but there is pride and then there is pretension . . . . It also alarms me that you have proudly proclaimed that you and your friends have seperated yourselves from other "black folk". We are here to promote unity . . .

Your expensive education, membership into the National Pan-Hellenic Council, and the height at which you can turn up your nose does not make you "elite".

Let not your medals & trinkets define who you are; but your humility, quiet pride of character, and your strength of self be your badge of honor. . .

Once again . . . Welcome to Forum :-)


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-26-2009 10:44 AM

Yeah its CEE CEE Wrote:
There are bad men in both. I don't do the sagging pants type of dude but im also not fooled by a suit and briefcase. I hold them under a  huge magnifying glass too.


TRUE THAT!  But there is almost 100% bad men in one of those groups!  And that is my point here - to many women are choosing men in the bad group and almost has zero chance of getting a good man from their choice.

YEEEESS you still have to keep your eyes open and look at the well dressed man - that is not a magic group of "Good Men" - it is just simply a better starting point from which to make your careful selection.

Yes, women PLEASE - - hold EVERY man under a magnifying glass!  I wish the hell you would - because THAT IS THE VERY PROBLEM.  And that is the reason I started this thread.

And when you do meet the nice guy in a suit - look at him even harder because it is harder to see he may be no good - but even still, at least he will not be a worthless no work thug street loser who won't take care of his own children!  What is this argument even about - somebody's sick jollies?

I was very clear in what points I am stating here.  Some of you are just looking for drama it seems (that last part was not directed at you CEE CEE Icon_cool).

Great post CEE CEE - I agree with you!  And the suit does not make the man - but it does indicate that he owns one, and is more then likely less of a loser - but never stop looking until you know he is not - suit and all!  And if he is a loser - so are you if you stay with him - suit or thug!  Wake up ladies!  At least start look in the right place - not the obvious loser bin!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-26-2009 11:15 AM

writerchic80 Wrote:

Rom Wills Wrote:

josephjrr Wrote:
Rom Wrote:

Quote:
The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.


You got any stats/evidence besides your twisted logic to back this up? If you and Ms Heartneat's point is that we need to beware of ALL men then I think we get your point but lets not be so eager to discredit everything that Tim says that you'll try and pull some rediculous logic like that out your azz.

The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office in jail or on a street corner hustlin rather than in a corner office doing something productive.

There ya go fixed!

Oh and just in case you didn't get the memo, brothas in an office aint such a terrible thing in case you didn't notice we got a brotha in the best damn corner office in the world holdin it down on the homefront and on the Western front (literally the Western world man).


Josephrr,

    I see you didn't quote the part of my post where I said I have college and law degrees.   St. Joseph's University, Philadelphia, PA, Class of 1987.  American University Law School, Washington, DC Class of 1990.   Professional brothas ARE my peer group.  I don't need stats to back up a lifestyle that I LIVED with similar Black men.   Speaking of which I'm maybe two degrees of separation from that BROTHA in the White House.   One of my best friends is a highly respected political commentor.

   Where are your degrees from?  

    The sisters I dealt with when I was single were the ELITE sisters many of whom now are attorneys and doctors.  Many were Deltas and AKA's.  My wife is AKA.   So I know how the ELITE sistas get down.   As a group they ain't messing with any thugs.   They look down on men who are not on their level.    

     These ELITE brothas and sistas don't even socialize the same way as other black folks.  

     So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.  All Black men are not "Tired Blackman".  The most SOME Blackmen are tired of is dealing with so many fine-ass Black women chasing them while clueless brothas are thinking that "thugs" run the game.  

   Think on this.

Rom - Hand over fist.


Rom . . . Welcome to the Forum!

I commend you on your achievements. I am sure you worked very hard to attain the level of success that you have. However, I disagree with the tone of your post (correct me if I misunderstood your point).

I think the message of this thread is that most good black men carry themselves as such. They aren't flashy, or boastful, or too proud. They are subtle, neat, and have nothing to prove. Thus, their outer beauty is a reflection of how beautiful they are on the inside. Typically, a mature, self-aware man will not walk around sagging his pants and wearing wife-beaters in public. It seems that the thread was just meant to showcase the good brothas out there (let me rephrase that the . . .pre-screened good brothas, lol). We all know better to judge a possible mate by their looks, that should've gone without saying.

As far as your post is concerned it came off as a little arrogant. You have thrown around "elite" as if having an education and hobknobbing with political commmentators somehow makes you . . . dare I say it . . . better? More refined? That reigning from a fraternity and socializing with fellow greeks allows you a seat on Mt. Olympus? It is ok be proud of what you have accomplished - I am too but there is pride and then there is pretension . . . . It also alarms me that you have proudly proclaimed that you and your friends have seperated yourselves from other "black folk". We are here to promote unity . . .

Your expensive education, membership into the National Pan-Hellenic Council, and the height at which you can turn up your nose does not make you "elite".

Let not your medals & trinkets define who you are; but your humility, quiet pride of character, and your strength of self be your badge of honor. . .

Once again . . . Welcome to Forum :-)


Yes!  Thank you!  Somebody finally said it! (And quiet tactfully I might add Icon_cool)  

Read his opening statement in this forum below (I highlighted the telling statements) - he sounds like he is very much a part of and only associates with the corporate bad boy bunch - and as "Elite" as he is - he still talks thug.  And he is shamelessly using this forum for promoting himself while he is challenging me in my house!  WOW!  I guess 28 members and 244 posts in HIS website forum where he sells his 2 books is not enough.  That is why he is here at TBM - REAL exposure.  

Here is some.  Visit his forum here: http://www.ihbooks.com/forums/index.php

And this is what his two books look like:



The secret to attracting women.
How women categorize men.
Why women pass over nice guys.
Why women fall for players.
Understanding the needs of women.
The physical and personality traits women find attractive.
Generating sexual chemistry.



This is neither a pick-up book nor a book for game players. Sexual Chemistry is for people looking for positive and satisfying relationships. Rom Wills opens a new chapter in the discussion for sexuality. Sexual chemistry is the process of arousing a member of the opposite sex...


Rom Willis Wrote:
Greetings to those who care to listen,

    You know, this one of the sites I lurk on to see what's going with Black male/female relationships.  I pop in for a few minutes and then I roll out.   This thread has inspired me to post because the premise of the thread is extremely flawed as quite a few posters have already pointed out.  

    The bottom line is that you cannot judge whether someone is a good or bad man just by their outer appearance.   The biggest dogs, players, womanizers, and yes thugs aren't walking around with their pants off their butts nor do they have several tattoos.   The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.  

    I know this because I wrote the BOOKS on players, http://www.ihbooks.com.   Two posters on this thread, my beautiful sister, Ms. Heartbeat, and my fam, Demondog, know how I roll.

    This thread moved me though for a more personal reason.  I've been married for 8 years and with my wife for 10 years.  My wife would accompany me when I would be promoting my books either at an expo or a seminar.   We noticed an interesting thing.   The so-called clean-cut guys would always be the ones who would try holla at her on the sly.  The so-called "thugs" would be the ones who would show respect.   One time we had a booth at an expo promoting my first book, and my wife told me that whenever I stepped away from the booth the brotha in the next booth would try to make eye contact.   We didn't think anything of it because my wife is ALL THAT and brothas always going to look.   Anyway I stepped away one time and when I returned this CLEAN-CUT brotha who looked a little like the brotha in the picture was at my booth trying to get his rap on despite my wife shooting him a leave me the f**k alone vibe.  So as I was about to go to his jaw, he started stuttering and stammering talking about how his mother taught him to be respectful, blah, blah, blah.   For real, I just unballed my fist, smirked at the bama,and sold him a book.   That wasn't the first nor last incident with with that type of brotha.  

   Many men use being clean cut to their advantage.  Ask me how I know.  I was a straight player back in the day.   Any sister who knew me back in the day would tell you I looked very clean-cut.   Some even said that's what attracted them to me.   Also keep in mind, that I have both college and law degrees and my peer group consisted primarily of brothas who dogged women like it was a sport.   These same brothas were my law school classmates and other brothas with advanced degrees.  

    A reality is that MOST sisters don't go for thugs.   There's that perception but it's not reality.   If I take off my ring, throw on a suit, and walk into a situation where there are 100 black women of different socio-economic backgrounds, along with five thug-looking brothas,  I guarantee I'll get more attention than those "thugs" put together.  Women, regardless of race, always look to trade up.   A woman will mess with a "thug" only if she truly like she doesn't have a better option.

    Honestly, we need to get away from that whole appearance thing.  If a person is considered attractive it's because it radiates from within.  We can't get caught into that this is bad man/woman because he/she looks like this or he/she is a good man/woman because he/she look like this.   It only makes the problem worse.

Think on this.

Peace,
Rom Wills


This post is not a good look for this forum my brotha, I would step into your house with a little more humility, and not painting myself into a corner about my past and present social skills - and a good attorney should know how to not present incriminating evidence.

Off topic, some people have college degrees and work at department stores - and some high school drop-outs are billionaires.  But neither one has to do with a man, or woman's character.  That is buried deep within and is not based on any social economic structure.  I rest my case, well at least for now.

Peace my brotha, whoever you really are.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-26-2009 12:13 PM

An after thought:

You can educate a thug, but you can't take the thug out of the educated.  You are who you are.

And that is why people do what they do.  And yes, there are many men in suits who are absolutely no good.   Agreed.

But there are many more who are in the streets who are even worse - and that is my only point.  Skip the suit with an EGO and skip the street hood - go for the conservative simple nice man ladies, he is your safest bet.  I hate suits with egos, what asses. Icon_xp

(That was just meant to be a general statement and was not directed directly to any particular person in this thread)


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Rom Wills - 06-26-2009 01:19 PM

koolkc107 Wrote:
What does your law degree have to do with an honest request for statistics to back up an assertion some may find spurious? As an attorney, one would think you would readily rely more upon cold hard facts than "twisted logic you pull out your azz". As I posted previously, I readily accept the truth of what you say on an anecdotal level. I freely concede that it has in all likelihood been your experience that clean cut guys are dogs. After all, that would seem to be the only types of men you interact with on a regular basis. You have written that your peer group is educated men and that the women you and they interact with are also educated (sorority sisters are by definition college educated). Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but your life stories are not what most of Black America has experienced, although I wish that this was not the case. While your social strata is a definite real sub-segment of black society, it is not at all representative of the whole. Surely, your degrees of higher learning should help you discern this truth. As you yourself just posted:  

These ELITE brothas and sistas don't even socialize the same way as other black folks.  

So I must ask, why in God's name would you come into a forum that is trying to address the rampant deterioration of the relationships of Black society as a whole, and offer your paltry limited experience as a rebuttal to the obvious reality?

By the way, the following statement raised my eyebrows:

     So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.

I hope that this is not indicative of your outlook towards all brothers and sisters who happen to not have been as fortunate as you. To imply that there is nothing you can learn from someone who is not so-called "elite" may say many things about you and I would argue that not much of it is positive. Shake yourself, brother.


   First of all, I mentioned the law degree to give readers an idea about my perspective.   I included Attorneys as being among the suit and tie brothas who may still be players.   Not all attorneys of course but I'm making statements as an insider.    First of all there are no hard facts about anyone's sexual practices.   Nobody to my knowledge did a survey of brothas in different professions asking the questions, "Are you players?  Do you dog women?"   Even if such a survey was undertaken how many men or women would answer truthfully.  A few years ago I wanted to put together a forum with true players addressing an audience.  The men refused because the REAL womanizers are undercover because often they are having sex with somebody's wife.  

   Stop and think about this.

    Also really read what I said, did I say ALL clean cut guys are dogs?   If anything my message was that SOME of the biggest dogs are clean cut.

    Now you are right that my particular peer group is a subset of Black America BUT let me give something to think about.  When you see TV shows, magazine articles, blogs, message boards where sisters are complaining about the shortage of good men, the women who are talking the most and the loudest are the professional sistas.   They are the ones leading the dialogue.   In order to really address that dialogue one has to take a serious look at who's doing talking and consider their background.

Now as far as this statement:  So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.   

   Brotha came at me like he knew what he was talking about and he really didn't so I let him know.   Other than that feel free to take the statement anyway you want.   Different people will read different things into the statement.

One statement I take issue with is the following:  "...offer your paltry limited experience as a rebuttal to the obvious reality?"

     You don't know my experience do you?  Unless you grew up with me you don't know what I know.   Think about that statement because reality is subjective.   Black women have always been receptive to me even when I didn't know they were.  So my perspective is different from the average brotha.  That's the whole point.  If people are serious about have positive relationships they need to talk to the people who have those relationships.

Think on this.

Peace,
Rom


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Rom Wills - 06-26-2009 01:25 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
You are just talking about cheating and men trying to get at an attractive woman - that will always happen - HELL, everybody does that!  It happens with men, women; across all social economic levels, from presidents to the lowest street thugs!  So what, that is ubiquitous to all people!  

That is not my point.  And the thugs didn't spit at your wife because they were a bit off base, and were intimidated by not knowing how to make their approach on a classy woman.  They knew they couldn't just walk up and holler "Hey Shawty" at her and woo her.  If they could have collected themselves and figured out a comfortable approach - they would have spit!  Those kind of dudes always get polite when they are in a fish-out-of-water situation - they start saying "Sir" and "Ma'am" a lot.  They don't want to fall on their faces, so they go deep down and pull out all of the few gentlemanly skills they have so they can try to fit.  They were out classed and knew it, so they restrained themselves - but put those same dudes in their own environment - a whole different ghetto fab ball game then!

I am pointing out that at least you have a chance with the more conservative men - the obvious thugs are almost 100% a no go if you are looking for a good man!  It is really simple.  One thing that is safe to say most good men don't look like the ones in the lower photos.  I said START with a decent clean cut man - who has a shirt on, and pants that fit, and no tattoos on his face, without 5 kids he doesn't take care of, who can articulate a good sentence, and who has a job that he shows up to on time everyday - THEN you have to start the process of looking deeper into him to see if he is a good man AFTER that initial pre-qualifier!

The thugs - just don't even bother in the first place!  Wow people - how much drama are you going to try to extract from such a simple concept?

And a well dressed educated corporate thug is still a thug!  They are well dressed yes - BUT FLASHY!  That is just a dapper thug.  Same thing - different style.  I am saying look at the man's spirit and his uniform to cross reference them to see if they match to make an initial assessment of his character.  If a woman is out at a night spot, and men from both groups of photos are in the club trying to talk to her - it should be obvious which men she should exchange her number with if she is looking to meet a nice guy!  That is all I am saying.  That's it.  It's not that deep or complicated.  Relax people.

Can I get some back-up from a few posters who actually get this!



    I see where you coming from but physical appearance doesn't speak to character because the biggest players indeed undercover.   The bottom line is that women should get to know a man.  Men need to do the same thing with women.   Both sides need to focus on character and quite frankly you can't tell that by the clothes regardless of the style.

Peace,
Rom


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Rom Wills - 06-26-2009 01:40 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

Rom Wills Wrote:
Tim Alexander,

   Tell me, do you want really want a dialogue or do you want to promote your own viewpoint which quite frankly IS NOT universal among Black Men?

Rom - Architect of the House of the Man


Yes I want a dialogue, that is why I am nearing 5,000 posts here, and my site motto is "Creating a DIALOGUE For Change" - you just got here after lurking and have a total of 3 posts - do you want a dialogue now?  Or are you here to promote your book, yourself and your law degrees?  I have been here talking with everybody for 3 1/2 years now! Icon_razz2

And - NO viewpoint is universal to black men - no viewpoint is universal to anybody for that matter - not even yours.  And why are you blasting in here all of a sudden like gang busters on this issue?  You haven't found any useful topic in this forum that you can build up - instead of a guideline for women looking for a man that you are trying to tear down?  Please.  We were doing just fine before you came in here to rescue everybody from my non-universal point of view.  I guess everybody needs a little attention. Icon_razz2

So YOU are the "Architect of the House of the Man" huh.  Wow, so I guess YOU are the keeper of the "Universal Viewpoint" of all black men.  Or are you here to sell books to a captive group of black men and women I have assembled here?

Again, we have been doing just fine here before your gallant entry into this forum thread, thanks.


  Actually bruh I've been in the game since 1996.  I did a lot of forums in the DC area and went national with my first book in September 2000.  My second book was published in April 2002.   So think about your statement.  To be clear I don't want or need a single person on your site to buy my books.    To be honest I deal with tantra and sacred sexuality now.   I'm about making my wife have several orgasms just by being in the room with her.    

   Oh as far as my statement about "The House of the Man".  That you even responded to it tells me a lot about your character.  A truly intelligent person what have simply asked what it meant instead of making an assumption that was quite false.

Peace,
Rom


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Rom Wills - 06-26-2009 02:02 PM

Ms HeartBeat Wrote:
Hey Rommmmmmm!!!!  Long time no see brotha!  I'm so happy to see you made your way onto this forum so that you could talk some sense into these men.  I've noticed that they will argue you to the death about their fixed opinions about Black women, based on nothing more than their small worlds.  They refuse to listen to the viewpoints of women that are strong, intelligent, raised by solid Black men, that do not at all fit the molds they hold so near and dear about Black womanhood. Having never met and exchanged ideas with such a woman, they cannot bear the thought that OHMYGAWD, they just might be WRONG!!!

In this thread as you see, they did not want to accept the fact that rushing to embrace preconceived notions about a man's "goodness" based on appearance might be a problem.  This man is deemed to be better.  These same men will rip a woman to shreds if she were to get with such a man and he *even 20 years later* dog her out because "she should have known he wasn't a good guy."  

A woman can never meet these wishy washy unrealistic expectations that women have super mind reading and see into the future powers.  

Really Rom, I'd rather take my chances with a real talking, knows who he is streety brotha.  I've found them to be much more honest about who and what they are, where they come from, and what they can or cannot do with and for you.  They leave it up to you if you want to play or not, which is honest. They relate to men differently as well. They know the code and adhere to it.  That's why they didn't step to your woman cause in their world, you die for some shyt like that.  Its a respect thing that these knuckleheaded clean cut looking dudes don't know nothing about until they get capped.  

But anyway I am glad you are actually posting.  For those that want to listen, here is a link to Rom's interview on my radio show last spring entitled

NICE GUYS vs. PLAYERS: WHY PLAYERS GET THE WOMEN AND NICE GUYS DON'T GET NO LOVE!


Yes, Yes Queen, (((Ms. Heartbeat)))

     Now why stressing yourself on this board?   Me, spirit just moved me to say what needed to be said and I'll be on my way.  I'm working directly with some brothas now.  They're transforming from Mr. Nice Guy to Mr. Goodbar.  I'm about making some real transformations.  We need to holla by phone.

    It's funny you mentioned that code thing.   The old school brothas knew how to deal with Black women.  Like I told you during the interview, there was a certain a brotha had to walk with a sister, hold a sister, and if necessary lay out a body for a sister.   That sister in turn showed the brotha great respect.   Unfortunately that code is dying out with the vast majority of brothas.    

   You know what, keep doing you.  There's a small group of brothas on the East Coast doing some things involving tantra that shall we say, will have a sister levitating the bedroom furniture.  We'll talk.

   So sit back and light that incense.  Put on some soft music to bring out that ELEGANT ROSE energy.  Just let that Oshun energy flow through you so you take it to the next level.   Just marinate in that infinite bliss.

Peace,
Rom - Waterbending at it's finest!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Rom Wills - 06-26-2009 02:14 PM

skii Wrote:

Rom Wills Wrote:

josephjrr Wrote:
Rom Wrote:

Quote:
The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.


You got any stats/evidence besides your twisted logic to back this up? If you and Ms Heartneat's point is that we need to beware of ALL men then I think we get your point but lets not be so eager to discredit everything that Tim says that you'll try and pull some rediculous logic like that out your azz.

The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office in jail or on a street corner hustlin rather than in a corner office doing something productive.

There ya go fixed!

Oh and just in case you didn't get the memo, brothas in an office aint such a terrible thing in case you didn't notice we got a brotha in the best damn corner office in the world holdin it down on the homefront and on the Western front (literally the Western world man).


Josephrr,

    I see you didn't quote the part of my post where I said I have college and law degrees.   St. Joseph's University, Philadelphia, PA, Class of 1987.  American University Law School, Washington, DC Class of 1990.   Professional brothas ARE my peer group.  I don't need stats to back up a lifestyle that I LIVED with similar Black men.   Speaking of which I'm maybe two degrees of separation from that BROTHA in the White House.   One of my best friends is a highly respected political commentor.

   Where are your degrees from?  

    The sisters I dealt with when I was single were the ELITE sisters many of whom now are attorneys and doctors.  Many were Deltas and AKA's.  My wife is AKA.   So I know how the ELITE sistas get down.   As a group they ain't messing with any thugs.   They look down on men who are not on their level.    

     These ELITE brothas and sistas don't even socialize the same way as other black folks.  

     So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.  All Black men are not "Tired Blackman".  The most SOME Blackmen are tired of is dealing with so many fine-ass Black women chasing them while clueless brothas are thinking that "thugs" run the game.  

   Think on this.

Rom - Hand over fist.


Thank you for this.  I have been trying to tell these "tired" men that a lot of what they are dealing with are class issues and that many of them could be solved by moving away from the hood and leaving behind their hood mentalities. Most educated black woman aren't looking for a thug.


Greetings Skii,

    You hit the nail on the head about class issues.  George Subira in his book, "Money Issues in Black Male/ Female Relationships." stated that, "Any discussion of relationships that does not take into account class status or adopted class behavior is joke."  

    I think discussions about relationships are way to limited and in too many cases one-sided.  We need to hear ALL perspectives regardless of our subjective feelings.

Peace,
Rom


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Rom Wills - 06-26-2009 02:27 PM

writerchic80 Wrote:

Rom Wills Wrote:

josephjrr Wrote:
Rom Wrote:

Quote:
The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.


You got any stats/evidence besides your twisted logic to back this up? If you and Ms Heartneat's point is that we need to beware of ALL men then I think we get your point but lets not be so eager to discredit everything that Tim says that you'll try and pull some rediculous logic like that out your azz.

The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office in jail or on a street corner hustlin rather than in a corner office doing something productive.

There ya go fixed!

Oh and just in case you didn't get the memo, brothas in an office aint such a terrible thing in case you didn't notice we got a brotha in the best damn corner office in the world holdin it down on the homefront and on the Western front (literally the Western world man).


Josephrr,

    I see you didn't quote the part of my post where I said I have college and law degrees.   St. Joseph's University, Philadelphia, PA, Class of 1987.  American University Law School, Washington, DC Class of 1990.   Professional brothas ARE my peer group.  I don't need stats to back up a lifestyle that I LIVED with similar Black men.   Speaking of which I'm maybe two degrees of separation from that BROTHA in the White House.   One of my best friends is a highly respected political commentor.

   Where are your degrees from?  

    The sisters I dealt with when I was single were the ELITE sisters many of whom now are attorneys and doctors.  Many were Deltas and AKA's.  My wife is AKA.   So I know how the ELITE sistas get down.   As a group they ain't messing with any thugs.   They look down on men who are not on their level.    

     These ELITE brothas and sistas don't even socialize the same way as other black folks.  

     So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.  All Black men are not "Tired Blackman".  The most SOME Blackmen are tired of is dealing with so many fine-ass Black women chasing them while clueless brothas are thinking that "thugs" run the game.  

   Think on this.

Rom - Hand over fist.


Rom . . . Welcome to the Forum!

I commend you on your achievements. I am sure you worked very hard to attain the level of success that you have. However, I disagree with the tone of your post (correct me if I misunderstood your point).

I think the message of this thread is that most good black men carry themselves as such. They aren't flashy, or boastful, or too proud. They are subtle, neat, and have nothing to prove. Thus, their outer beauty is a reflection of how beautiful they are on the inside. Typically, a mature, self-aware man will not walk around sagging his pants and wearing wife-beaters in public. It seems that the thread was just meant to showcase the good brothas out there (let me rephrase that the . . .pre-screened good brothas, lol). We all know better to judge a possible mate by their looks, that should've gone without saying.

As far as your post is concerned it came off as a little arrogant. You have thrown around "elite" as if having an education and hobknobbing with political commmentators somehow makes you . . . dare I say it . . . better? More refined? That reigning from a fraternity and socializing with fellow greeks allows you a seat on Mt. Olympus? It is ok be proud of what you have accomplished - I am too but there is pride and then there is pretension . . . . It also alarms me that you have proudly proclaimed that you and your friends have seperated yourselves from other "black folk". We are here to promote unity . . .

Your expensive education, membership into the National Pan-Hellenic Council, and the height at which you can turn up your nose does not make you "elite".

Let not your medals & trinkets define who you are; but your humility, quiet pride of character, and your strength of self be your badge of honor. . .

Once again . . . Welcome to Forum :-)


    Actually sister i never said I was in fraternity.   I have problem following other people.   I just happened to hand out with frat men and date sorority sisters.

    As far as how how good Black men carry themselves, anyone who has spent anytime on the streets will tell you that the deadliest people are the ones who are the most humble, low-key, no tattoos, and dress like church boys.   They would also snatch your heart out without remorse.   The bottom line is that appearance does not indicate character.   I just saw a father today who had the traditional thug look playing lovingly with his son.

   Also as far as mentioning my accomplishments if you read very closely I mentioned them to give a perspective on why I think and perceive things the way I do.   I don't make statements out of a vacuum.  

Peace,
Rom


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Rom Wills - 06-26-2009 02:51 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

writerchic80 Wrote:

Rom Wills Wrote:

josephjrr Wrote:
Rom Wrote:

Quote:
The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.


You got any stats/evidence besides your twisted logic to back this up? If you and Ms Heartneat's point is that we need to beware of ALL men then I think we get your point but lets not be so eager to discredit everything that Tim says that you'll try and pull some rediculous logic like that out your azz.

The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office in jail or on a street corner hustlin rather than in a corner office doing something productive.

There ya go fixed!

Oh and just in case you didn't get the memo, brothas in an office aint such a terrible thing in case you didn't notice we got a brotha in the best damn corner office in the world holdin it down on the homefront and on the Western front (literally the Western world man).


Josephrr,

    I see you didn't quote the part of my post where I said I have college and law degrees.   St. Joseph's University, Philadelphia, PA, Class of 1987.  American University Law School, Washington, DC Class of 1990.   Professional brothas ARE my peer group.  I don't need stats to back up a lifestyle that I LIVED with similar Black men.   Speaking of which I'm maybe two degrees of separation from that BROTHA in the White House.   One of my best friends is a highly respected political commentor.

   Where are your degrees from?  

    The sisters I dealt with when I was single were the ELITE sisters many of whom now are attorneys and doctors.  Many were Deltas and AKA's.  My wife is AKA.   So I know how the ELITE sistas get down.   As a group they ain't messing with any thugs.   They look down on men who are not on their level.    

     These ELITE brothas and sistas don't even socialize the same way as other black folks.  

     So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.  All Black men are not "Tired Blackman".  The most SOME Blackmen are tired of is dealing with so many fine-ass Black women chasing them while clueless brothas are thinking that "thugs" run the game.  

   Think on this.

Rom - Hand over fist.


Rom . . . Welcome to the Forum!

I commend you on your achievements. I am sure you worked very hard to attain the level of success that you have. However, I disagree with the tone of your post (correct me if I misunderstood your point).

I think the message of this thread is that most good black men carry themselves as such. They aren't flashy, or boastful, or too proud. They are subtle, neat, and have nothing to prove. Thus, their outer beauty is a reflection of how beautiful they are on the inside. Typically, a mature, self-aware man will not walk around sagging his pants and wearing wife-beaters in public. It seems that the thread was just meant to showcase the good brothas out there (let me rephrase that the . . .pre-screened good brothas, lol). We all know better to judge a possible mate by their looks, that should've gone without saying.

As far as your post is concerned it came off as a little arrogant. You have thrown around "elite" as if having an education and hobknobbing with political commmentators somehow makes you . . . dare I say it . . . better? More refined? That reigning from a fraternity and socializing with fellow greeks allows you a seat on Mt. Olympus? It is ok be proud of what you have accomplished - I am too but there is pride and then there is pretension . . . . It also alarms me that you have proudly proclaimed that you and your friends have seperated yourselves from other "black folk". We are here to promote unity . . .

Your expensive education, membership into the National Pan-Hellenic Council, and the height at which you can turn up your nose does not make you "elite".

Let not your medals & trinkets define who you are; but your humility, quiet pride of character, and your strength of self be your badge of honor. . .

Once again . . . Welcome to Forum :-)


Yes!  Thank you!  Somebody finally said it! (And quiet tactfully I might add Icon_cool)  

Read his opening statement in this forum below (I highlighted the telling statements) - he sounds like he is very much a part of and only associates with the corporate bad boy bunch - and as "Elite" as he is - he still talks thug.  And he is shamelessly using this forum for promoting himself while he is challenging me in my house!  WOW!  I guess 28 members and 244 posts in HIS website forum where he sells his 2 books is not enough.  That is why he is here at TBM - REAL exposure.  

Here is some.  Visit his forum here: http://www.ihbooks.com/forums/index.php

And this is what his two books look like:



The secret to attracting women.
How women categorize men.
Why women pass over nice guys.
Why women fall for players.
Understanding the needs of women.
The physical and personality traits women find attractive.
Generating sexual chemistry.



This is neither a pick-up book nor a book for game players. Sexual Chemistry is for people looking for positive and satisfying relationships. Rom Wills opens a new chapter in the discussion for sexuality. Sexual chemistry is the process of arousing a member of the opposite sex...


Rom Willis Wrote:
Greetings to those who care to listen,

    You know, this one of the sites I lurk on to see what's going with Black male/female relationships.  I pop in for a few minutes and then I roll out.   This thread has inspired me to post because the premise of the thread is extremely flawed as quite a few posters have already pointed out.  

    The bottom line is that you cannot judge whether someone is a good or bad man just by their outer appearance.   The biggest dogs, players, womanizers, and yes thugs aren't walking around with their pants off their butts nor do they have several tattoos.   The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.  

    I know this because I wrote the BOOKS on players, http://www.ihbooks.com.   Two posters on this thread, my beautiful sister, Ms. Heartbeat, and my fam, Demondog, know how I roll.

    This thread moved me though for a more personal reason.  I've been married for 8 years and with my wife for 10 years.  My wife would accompany me when I would be promoting my books either at an expo or a seminar.   We noticed an interesting thing.   The so-called clean-cut guys would always be the ones who would try holla at her on the sly.  The so-called "thugs" would be the ones who would show respect.   One time we had a booth at an expo promoting my first book, and my wife told me that whenever I stepped away from the booth the brotha in the next booth would try to make eye contact.   We didn't think anything of it because my wife is ALL THAT and brothas always going to look.   Anyway I stepped away one time and when I returned this CLEAN-CUT brotha who looked a little like the brotha in the picture was at my booth trying to get his rap on despite my wife shooting him a leave me the f**k alone vibe.  So as I was about to go to his jaw, he started stuttering and stammering talking about how his mother taught him to be respectful, blah, blah, blah.   For real, I just unballed my fist, smirked at the bama,and sold him a book.   That wasn't the first nor last incident with with that type of brotha.  

   Many men use being clean cut to their advantage.  Ask me how I know.  I was a straight player back in the day.   Any sister who knew me back in the day would tell you I looked very clean-cut.   Some even said that's what attracted them to me.   Also keep in mind, that I have both college and law degrees and my peer group consisted primarily of brothas who dogged women like it was a sport.   These same brothas were my law school classmates and other brothas with advanced degrees.  

    A reality is that MOST sisters don't go for thugs.   There's that perception but it's not reality.   If I take off my ring, throw on a suit, and walk into a situation where there are 100 black women of different socio-economic backgrounds, along with five thug-looking brothas,  I guarantee I'll get more attention than those "thugs" put together.  Women, regardless of race, always look to trade up.   A woman will mess with a "thug" only if she truly like she doesn't have a better option.

    Honestly, we need to get away from that whole appearance thing.  If a person is considered attractive it's because it radiates from within.  We can't get caught into that this is bad man/woman because he/she looks like this or he/she is a good man/woman because he/she look like this.   It only makes the problem worse.

Think on this.

Peace,
Rom Wills


This post is not a good look for this forum my brotha, I would step into your house with a little more humility, and not painting myself into a corner about my past and present social skills - and a good attorney should know how to not present incriminating evidence.

Off topic, some people have college degrees and work at department stores - and some high school drop-outs are billionaires.  But neither one has to do with a man, or woman's character.  That is buried deep within and is not based on any social economic structure.  I rest my case, well at least for now.

Peace my brotha, whoever you really are.


   You really just played yourself.    I didn't come on your site to advertise my books yet you did that for me.  Thanks. My sons can always use new clothes, (they're easting me out of house and home.  Who knew kids grew that quick.  I shoulda got a dog.)  For real, I've been in the game way longer than you and see while you're on a message board with a few posters, I'm in the real world working with brothas to make real changes.    But if it makes you comfortable to feel like you have the upperhand...whatever gets you to sleep at night.    Keep this in mind.   If you are about making REAL change you're going have to deal better with someone who disagrees with you.  I didn't come at you hard but there's some brothas HARD.  They already do on some websites.  But I digress.

  Anyway, I gotta get off of here.  I'm about to get tantric with the wife.

Rom - Sebek is laughing his cigar smoking ass off!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-26-2009 03:00 PM

Rom Wills Wrote:
    I see where you coming from but physical appearance doesn't speak to character because the biggest players indeed undercover.   The bottom line is that women should get to know a man.  Men need to do the same thing with women.   Both sides need to focus on character and quite frankly you can't tell that by the clothes regardless of the style.

Peace,
Rom


But it seems you are mainly talking about cheating here - there is a lot more to what makes a man good or bad.  How about which one will take care of his kids?  And we know for a fact the street no good men are even worse then the suit no good men - they have nothing to lose - and they are at least 1,000 times more likely to end up in jail!  And the nice guys I am speaking of do not necessarily where suits or walk around high profile fancy!  I'm talking about conservative good guys - not fancy high profile ex or maybe current players who think they own the world - those ARE NOT good men!

A man of character is a good man - and that is not based on his clothing or high profile status - but being a no good loser like the ones in the photos I posted almost always IS indicated by their clothing - and that is ALL I am talking about.  Everybody wears a uniform that is at least a modest to even a major indicator of who they are - and fancy expensive clothing says player - and I do not approve of players as good men in any way.  

You all came in here and got it way twisted.  Look at the original pictures again and ask yourself "Which group of men is a better starting point to consider looking in for a man?" - THEN you look deeper.  But some women start looking in the wrong group in the first place - and then they don't look deep at all as they choose not to see even the worst of actions on a man's part - like him having another girl pregnant the same month as them!

Why are we debating obvious sound advice?  I said nothing definitive - I only stated what should be an obvious guideline.  And I have to defend it against men and women???  How bizarre!  The women here say they won't date a thug, then when I show a photo of obvious thugs relative to no- thugs I catch flak and they (with the help of a man) want to argue with me about it?  How bizarre is that?

Please get a grip people, I am not here to play games.  This is serious - I am trying to help people grow in their perspective - why are you working to work against it?   What is your point?  Are you really here to help?  Please leave us alone if you are not.  I built this place to deliver a cretin message to certain people who need and want to hear it, if you are not with it - go find a place that fits your point of view better or start your own.

This mindless purposeless arguing with me gets tiring.  I really have better things to do - like make another film instead of playing forum fighter - way not my goal in life.  I use this to learn so I can make better films to reach and help more people - not for popularity to see how busy I can make it here.  Anybody can have a forum - I am a filmmaker.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-26-2009 03:25 PM

Rom Wills Wrote:
   You really just played yourself.    I didn't come on your site to advertise my books yet you did that for me.  Thanks. My sons can always use new clothes, (they're easting me out of house and home.  Who knew kids grew that quick.  I shoulda got a dog.)  For real, I've been in the game way longer than you and see while you're on a message board with a few posters, I'm in the real world working with brothas to make real changes.    But if it makes you comfortable to feel like you have the upperhand...whatever gets you to sleep at night.    Keep this in mind.   If you are about making REAL change you're going have to deal better with someone who disagrees with you.  I didn't come at you hard but there's some brothas HARD.  They already do on some websites.  But I digress.

  Anyway, I gotta get off of here.  I'm about to get tantric with the wife.

Rom - Sebek is laughing his cigar smoking ass off!


Peace out, that's probably the best way to deal with our differences and different approaches to the same issues.  I was good here, you were good there - let's just roll it back to where it was before yesterday when you surfaced here - and keep our respect brother to brother.  Obviously our points of view don't fully mesh if we started of in your first post after you lurking here at odds with each other.  And it is not a good look for either on of us.  But if some one came in your house swing against your point of view you worked so hard to promote - you would do the same.  So respect me in my house as I would respect you in yours.  And I respected you by not posting in yours, it is the same as it ever was.

Nice meeting you Rom, but I don't need the extra work, and I'm sure you don't either.  So let's not do this.  I will stay in my house - and you can stay in your BIGGER one.  Peace.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - queenbastet - 06-26-2009 03:33 PM

I 100% cosign with everything Writerchic has said below.  

  Icon_smile2  Rom's approach was arrogant and non reflective on the topic being discussed.  
He and the ladies that rebuked this thread so harshly were antagonistic about the direction of the thread RATHER THAN SIMPLY NOTING the need to get to know a person AFTER they pass the "first impression test"

U know how Mommas always say "it's not what you say, it's how u say it"  ???   

writerchic80 Wrote:
Rom . . . Welcome to the Forum!

I commend you on your achievements. I am sure you worked very hard to attain the level of success that you have. However, I disagree with the tone of your post (correct me if I misunderstood your point).

I think the message of this thread is that most good black men carry themselves as such. They aren't flashy, or boastful, or too proud. They are subtle, neat, and have nothing to prove. Thus, their outer beauty is a reflection of how beautiful they are on the inside. Typically, a mature, self-aware man will not walk around sagging his pants and wearing wife-beaters in public. It seems that the thread was just meant to showcase the good brothas out there (let me rephrase that the . . .pre-screened good brothas, lol). We all know better to judge a possible mate by their looks, that should've gone without saying.

As far as your post is concerned it came off as a little arrogant. You have thrown around "elite" as if having an education and hobknobbing with political commmentators somehow makes you . . . dare I say it . . . better? More refined? That reigning from a fraternity and socializing with fellow greeks allows you a seat on Mt. Olympus? It is ok be proud of what you have accomplished - I am too but there is pride and then there is pretension . . . . It also alarms me that you have proudly proclaimed that you and your friends have seperated yourselves from other "black folk". We are here to promote unity . . .

Your expensive education, membership into the National Pan-Hellenic Council, and the height at which you can turn up your nose does not make you "elite".

Let not your medals & trinkets define who you are; but your humility, quiet pride of character, and your strength of self be your badge of honor. . .

Once again . . . Welcome to Forum :-)




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-26-2009 03:36 PM

Yeah, what Queen just said!  I just don't think I agree with the "Welcome to the forum" part.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - skii - 06-26-2009 03:49 PM

Rom Wills Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

writerchic80 Wrote:

Rom Wills Wrote:

josephjrr Wrote:
Rom Wrote:

Quote:
The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.


You got any stats/evidence besides your twisted logic to back this up? If you and Ms Heartneat's point is that we need to beware of ALL men then I think we get your point but lets not be so eager to discredit everything that Tim says that you'll try and pull some rediculous logic like that out your azz.

The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office in jail or on a street corner hustlin rather than in a corner office doing something productive.

There ya go fixed!

Oh and just in case you didn't get the memo, brothas in an office aint such a terrible thing in case you didn't notice we got a brotha in the best damn corner office in the world holdin it down on the homefront and on the Western front (literally the Western world man).


Josephrr,

    I see you didn't quote the part of my post where I said I have college and law degrees.   St. Joseph's University, Philadelphia, PA, Class of 1987.  American University Law School, Washington, DC Class of 1990.   Professional brothas ARE my peer group.  I don't need stats to back up a lifestyle that I LIVED with similar Black men.   Speaking of which I'm maybe two degrees of separation from that BROTHA in the White House.   One of my best friends is a highly respected political commentor.

   Where are your degrees from?  

    The sisters I dealt with when I was single were the ELITE sisters many of whom now are attorneys and doctors.  Many were Deltas and AKA's.  My wife is AKA.   So I know how the ELITE sistas get down.   As a group they ain't messing with any thugs.   They look down on men who are not on their level.    

     These ELITE brothas and sistas don't even socialize the same way as other black folks.  

     So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.  All Black men are not "Tired Blackman".  The most SOME Blackmen are tired of is dealing with so many fine-ass Black women chasing them while clueless brothas are thinking that "thugs" run the game.  

   Think on this.

Rom - Hand over fist.


Rom . . . Welcome to the Forum!

I commend you on your achievements. I am sure you worked very hard to attain the level of success that you have. However, I disagree with the tone of your post (correct me if I misunderstood your point).

I think the message of this thread is that most good black men carry themselves as such. They aren't flashy, or boastful, or too proud. They are subtle, neat, and have nothing to prove. Thus, their outer beauty is a reflection of how beautiful they are on the inside. Typically, a mature, self-aware man will not walk around sagging his pants and wearing wife-beaters in public. It seems that the thread was just meant to showcase the good brothas out there (let me rephrase that the . . .pre-screened good brothas, lol). We all know better to judge a possible mate by their looks, that should've gone without saying.

As far as your post is concerned it came off as a little arrogant. You have thrown around "elite" as if having an education and hobknobbing with political commmentators somehow makes you . . . dare I say it . . . better? More refined? That reigning from a fraternity and socializing with fellow greeks allows you a seat on Mt. Olympus? It is ok be proud of what you have accomplished - I am too but there is pride and then there is pretension . . . . It also alarms me that you have proudly proclaimed that you and your friends have seperated yourselves from other "black folk". We are here to promote unity . . .

Your expensive education, membership into the National Pan-Hellenic Council, and the height at which you can turn up your nose does not make you "elite".

Let not your medals & trinkets define who you are; but your humility, quiet pride of character, and your strength of self be your badge of honor. . .

Once again . . . Welcome to Forum :-)


Yes!  Thank you!  Somebody finally said it! (And quiet tactfully I might add Icon_cool)  

Read his opening statement in this forum below (I highlighted the telling statements) - he sounds like he is very much a part of and only associates with the corporate bad boy bunch - and as "Elite" as he is - he still talks thug.  And he is shamelessly using this forum for promoting himself while he is challenging me in my house!  WOW!  I guess 28 members and 244 posts in HIS website forum where he sells his 2 books is not enough.  That is why he is here at TBM - REAL exposure.  

Here is some.  Visit his forum here: http://www.ihbooks.com/forums/index.php

And this is what his two books look like:



The secret to attracting women.
How women categorize men.
Why women pass over nice guys.
Why women fall for players.
Understanding the needs of women.
The physical and personality traits women find attractive.
Generating sexual chemistry.



This is neither a pick-up book nor a book for game players. Sexual Chemistry is for people looking for positive and satisfying relationships. Rom Wills opens a new chapter in the discussion for sexuality. Sexual chemistry is the process of arousing a member of the opposite sex...


Rom Willis Wrote:
Greetings to those who care to listen,

    You know, this one of the sites I lurk on to see what's going with Black male/female relationships.  I pop in for a few minutes and then I roll out.   This thread has inspired me to post because the premise of the thread is extremely flawed as quite a few posters have already pointed out.  

    The bottom line is that you cannot judge whether someone is a good or bad man just by their outer appearance.   The biggest dogs, players, womanizers, and yes thugs aren't walking around with their pants off their butts nor do they have several tattoos.   The biggest players are attorneys, doctors, accountants, successful businessmen, and pimps, I mean preachers ( I didn't mean to insult pimps like that).   The really bad men are more likely to be in a corner office than on a street corner.  

    I know this because I wrote the BOOKS on players, http://www.ihbooks.com.   Two posters on this thread, my beautiful sister, Ms. Heartbeat, and my fam, Demondog, know how I roll.

    This thread moved me though for a more personal reason.  I've been married for 8 years and with my wife for 10 years.  My wife would accompany me when I would be promoting my books either at an expo or a seminar.   We noticed an interesting thing.   The so-called clean-cut guys would always be the ones who would try holla at her on the sly.  The so-called "thugs" would be the ones who would show respect.   One time we had a booth at an expo promoting my first book, and my wife told me that whenever I stepped away from the booth the brotha in the next booth would try to make eye contact.   We didn't think anything of it because my wife is ALL THAT and brothas always going to look.   Anyway I stepped away one time and when I returned this CLEAN-CUT brotha who looked a little like the brotha in the picture was at my booth trying to get his rap on despite my wife shooting him a leave me the f**k alone vibe.  So as I was about to go to his jaw, he started stuttering and stammering talking about how his mother taught him to be respectful, blah, blah, blah.   For real, I just unballed my fist, smirked at the bama,and sold him a book.   That wasn't the first nor last incident with with that type of brotha.  

   Many men use being clean cut to their advantage.  Ask me how I know.  I was a straight player back in the day.   Any sister who knew me back in the day would tell you I looked very clean-cut.   Some even said that's what attracted them to me.   Also keep in mind, that I have both college and law degrees and my peer group consisted primarily of brothas who dogged women like it was a sport.   These same brothas were my law school classmates and other brothas with advanced degrees.  

    A reality is that MOST sisters don't go for thugs.   There's that perception but it's not reality.   If I take off my ring, throw on a suit, and walk into a situation where there are 100 black women of different socio-economic backgrounds, along with five thug-looking brothas,  I guarantee I'll get more attention than those "thugs" put together.  Women, regardless of race, always look to trade up.   A woman will mess with a "thug" only if she truly like she doesn't have a better option.

    Honestly, we need to get away from that whole appearance thing.  If a person is considered attractive it's because it radiates from within.  We can't get caught into that this is bad man/woman because he/she looks like this or he/she is a good man/woman because he/she look like this.   It only makes the problem worse.

Think on this.

Peace,
Rom Wills


This post is not a good look for this forum my brotha, I would step into your house with a little more humility, and not painting myself into a corner about my past and present social skills - and a good attorney should know how to not present incriminating evidence.

Off topic, some people have college degrees and work at department stores - and some high school drop-outs are billionaires.  But neither one has to do with a man, or woman's character.  That is buried deep within and is not based on any social economic structure.  I rest my case, well at least for now.

Peace my brotha, whoever you really are.


   You really just played yourself.    I didn't come on your site to advertise my books yet you did that for me.  Thanks. My sons can always use new clothes, (they're easting me out of house and home.  Who knew kids grew that quick.  I shoulda got a dog.)  For real, I've been in the game way longer than you and see while you're on a message board with a few posters, I'm in the real world working with brothas to make real changes.    But if it makes you comfortable to feel like you have the upperhand...whatever gets you to sleep at night.    Keep this in mind.   If you are about making REAL change you're going have to deal better with someone who disagrees with you.  I didn't come at you hard but there's some brothas HARD.  They already do on some websites.  But I digress.

  Anyway, I gotta get off of here.  I'm about to get tantric with the wife.

Rom - Sebek is laughing his cigar smoking ass off!

I think that one of the main that Tim's site is not that popular is because he does not know how to deal with dissenting opinions in a positive way.  He almost always falls back on sarcasm, personal attacks, name calling, censorship, and other foolishness.  This undermines any good points that he may have made.  He is especially sensitive if the point is made by someone more intelligent or better educated than he is.  It's a shame really.  Tim - you are an Obama fan, so think about the way that he handles controversy.  There's no name calling, chest beating, and a huge ego overriding everything else .  He makes his points gracefully.  There's another elite brother that you could take a lesson from.  Icon_wink


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - queenbastet - 06-26-2009 04:01 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Yeah, what Queen just said!  I just don't think I agree with the "Welcome to the forum" part.


Icon_biggrinIcon_biggrinIcon_biggrinIcon_biggrinIcon_biggrinIcon_biggrinIcon_biggrinIcon_biggrin   thanks tim... i think I'm going to change my forum signature to that quote

"it's not what u say, it's how u say it"  u can disagree, but disagree in a polite manner

and perhaps it warrants repeating again...

I 100% cosign with everything Writerchic has said below.  

"Rom's approach was arrogant and non reflective on the topic being discussed.  
He and the ladies that rebuked this thread so harshly were antagonistic about the direction of the thread RATHER THAN SIMPLY NOTING the need to get to know a person AFTER they pass the "first impression test"

U know how Mommas always say "it's not what you say, it's how u say it"


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - IslandRa - 06-26-2009 04:40 PM

It all boils down to the fact that any relationship is a gamble.  Since it is a gamble, you want more odds on your side than against you.

With clean cut conservative looking guys, the odds are better, not perfect but better.  You still should do your homework, but at least step one was successfully executed.

And this simple advice comes from a former Architect and Senior Software designer who was married to a cum-laud Zeta that was a 2nd runner up beauty contestant.

Since we are dropping our credentials Icon_biggrin


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Ms HeartBeat - 06-26-2009 04:47 PM

The thing about the internet is that no one is required to even attempt phrase things in a way that will please every single reader of said post.  That would be an impossible task.  Some of you including Queen may have viewed my challenge to Tim's dogmatic assertion as harsh, but I hardly see giving an alternative viewpoint in that manner.  Tim does not date men, I do.  Tim has never had a relationship with a man, I have.  Tim does not know the games that men that "look good" run on women because Tim is not a woman.  All I was doing was telling him that he might want to consider the fact that "all that glitters ain't gold".  He doesn't want to do that.  Shrug.  I still say no woman should ever give a man superior status based on his attire.  Thugs, rapists, con men, child molesters and thieves can buy suits and put on some glasses and a hat just like anyone else.  

I say it the way I see it, just like men do because I am not an ass kisser or a weak woman.  The problem is that a lot of men and women are not used to a female being so decisive and firm about anything!  THey are used to women saying "well maybe" and "perhaps" and "kind of" which are words of weakness that I choose not to use.

Strong opinions require strong language Queen.  I never called anyone a name or said anything rude to anyone, so I am wondering where you got the antagonistic label from. Just because not everyone that comes here agrees with Tim doesn't mean they do not have a valid and logical viewpoint.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 06-26-2009 04:51 PM

Ms HeartBeat Wrote:
The thing about the internet is that no one is required to even attempt phrase things in a way that will please every single reader of said post.  That would be an impossible task.  Some of you including Queen may have viewed my challenge to Tim's dogmatic assertion as harsh, but I hardly see giving an alternative viewpoint in that manner.  Tim does not date men, I do.  Tim has never had a relationship with a man, I have.  Tim does not know the games that men that "look good" run on women because Tim is not a woman.  All I was doing was telling him that he might want to consider the fact that "all that glitters ain't gold".  He doesn't want to do that.  Shrug.  I still say no woman should ever give a man superior status based on his attire.  Thugs, rapists, con men, child molesters and thieves can buy suits and put on some glasses and a hat just like anyone else.  

I say it the way I see it, just like men do because I am not an ass kisser or a weak woman.  The problem is that a lot of men and women are not used to a female being so decisive and firm about anything!  THey are used to women saying "well maybe" and "perhaps" and "kind of" which are words of weakness that I choose not to use.

Strong opinions require strong language Queen.  I never called anyone a name or said anything rude to anyone, so I am wondering where you got the antagonistic label from. Just because not everyone that comes here agrees with Tim doesn't mean they do not have a valid and logical viewpoint.


Well said as usual.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-26-2009 04:56 PM

Ms HeartBeat Wrote:
All I was doing was telling him that he might want to consider the fact that "all that glitters ain't gold".  He doesn't want to do that.  Shrug.  I still say no woman should ever give a man superior status based on his attire.  Thugs, rapists, con men, child molesters and thieves can buy suits and put on some glasses and a hat just like anyone else.


I did, I said it too - AND I AGREE.  So why are we still dancing when the song is no longer playing?  Go back and read all of my words - and put a cork in it!

Why am I a target for you?  Don't you have a forum of your own to attend too?


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Rom Wills - 06-26-2009 05:19 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

Rom Wills Wrote:
   You really just played yourself.    I didn't come on your site to advertise my books yet you did that for me.  Thanks. My sons can always use new clothes, (they're easting me out of house and home.  Who knew kids grew that quick.  I shoulda got a dog.)  For real, I've been in the game way longer than you and see while you're on a message board with a few posters, I'm in the real world working with brothas to make real changes.    But if it makes you comfortable to feel like you have the upperhand...whatever gets you to sleep at night.    Keep this in mind.   If you are about making REAL change you're going have to deal better with someone who disagrees with you.  I didn't come at you hard but there's some brothas HARD.  They already do on some websites.  But I digress.

  Anyway, I gotta get off of here.  I'm about to get tantric with the wife.

Rom - Sebek is laughing his cigar smoking ass off!


Peace out, that's probably the best way to deal with our differences and different approaches to the same issues.  I was good here, you were good there - let's just roll it back to where it was before yesterday when you surfaced here - and keep our respect brother to brother.  Obviously our points of view don't fully mesh if we started of in your first post after you lurking here at odds with each other.  And it is not a good look for either on of us.  But if some one came in your house swing against your point of view you worked so hard to promote - you would do the same.  So respect me in my house as I would respect you in yours.  And I respected you by not posting in yours, it is the same as it ever was.

Nice meeting you Rom, but I don't need the extra work, and I'm sure you don't either.  So let's not do this.  I will stay in my house - and you can stay in your BIGGER one.  Peace.


  Actually I didn't give you the link to my "house".   I don't own that particular site.    If you read the posts on the site though different opinions are encouraged as long as they are enlightening.    

    One can only know the light if they can contrast it with the dark.

Rom - Standing, Hand over fist, bowing.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Rom Wills - 06-26-2009 05:21 PM

IslandRa Wrote:
It all boils down to the fact that any relationship is a gamble.  Since it is a gamble, you want more odds on your side than against you.

With clean cut conservative looking guys, the odds are better, not perfect but better.  You still should do your homework, but at least step one was successfully executed.

And this simple advice comes from a former Architect and Senior Software designer who was married to a cum-laud Zeta that was a 2nd runner up beauty contestant.

Since we are dropping our credentials Icon_biggrin


Respect bruh!  You gave me good laugh.

Peace and blessings,
Rom


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-26-2009 05:26 PM

Rom Wills Wrote:
Rom - Standing, Hand over fist, bowing.


And it is returned.  All is good - real men can disagree and retain a measure of respect and move on.  Respect.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - koolkc107 - 06-26-2009 06:05 PM

Rom Wills Wrote:

koolkc107 Wrote:
What does your law degree have to do with an honest request for statistics to back up an assertion some may find spurious? As an attorney, one would think you would readily rely more upon cold hard facts than "twisted logic you pull out your azz". As I posted previously, I readily accept the truth of what you say on an anecdotal level. I freely concede that it has in all likelihood been your experience that clean cut guys are dogs. After all, that would seem to be the only types of men you interact with on a regular basis. You have written that your peer group is educated men and that the women you and they interact with are also educated (sorority sisters are by definition college educated). Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but your life stories are not what most of Black America has experienced, although I wish that this was not the case. While your social strata is a definite real sub-segment of black society, it is not at all representative of the whole. Surely, your degrees of higher learning should help you discern this truth. As you yourself just posted:  

These ELITE brothas and sistas don't even socialize the same way as other black folks.  

So I must ask, why in God's name would you come into a forum that is trying to address the rampant deterioration of the relationships of Black society as a whole, and offer your paltry limited experience as a rebuttal to the obvious reality?

By the way, the following statement raised my eyebrows:

     So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.

I hope that this is not indicative of your outlook towards all brothers and sisters who happen to not have been as fortunate as you. To imply that there is nothing you can learn from someone who is not so-called "elite" may say many things about you and I would argue that not much of it is positive. Shake yourself, brother.


   First of all, I mentioned the law degree to give readers an idea about my perspective.  

Not so. You mentioned your law degree in an attempt to denigrate a poster who asked you an honest question. Here is part of the post in question:

Josephrr,

    I see you didn't quote the part of my post where I said I have college and law degrees.   St. Joseph's University, Philadelphia, PA, Class of 1987.  American University Law School, Washington, DC Class of 1990.   Professional brothas ARE my peer group.  I don't need stats to back up a lifestyle that I LIVED with similar Black men.   Speaking of which I'm maybe two degrees of separation from that BROTHA in the White House.   One of my best friends is a highly respected political commentor.

Where are your degrees from?


Your perspective, huh? Sounds like you and your perspective are complete strangers to decorum and tact.   

I included Attorneys as being among the suit and tie brothas who may still be players.   Not all attorneys of course but I'm making statements as an insider.    First of all there are no hard facts about anyone's sexual practices.   Nobody to my knowledge did a survey of brothas in different professions asking the questions, "Are you players?  Do you dog women?"   Even if such a survey was undertaken how many men or women would answer truthfully.  A few years ago I wanted to put together a forum with true players addressing an audience.  The men refused because the REAL womanizers are undercover because often they are having sex with somebody's wife.  

   Stop and think about this.

Perhaps you should have stopped and thought about answering the poster more like the above than in the manner you opted for, trying to belittle him by giving him your mini-bio. If you want to maintain there is no hard data, then simply say so and do your "teaching" from there. It is my experience that most true experts spend less time trying to prove their qualifications and more time actually addressing their area of expertise.

    Also really read what I said, did I say ALL clean cut guys are dogs?   If anything my message was that SOME of the biggest dogs are clean cut.

Point taken. I, of course should have qualified my sentence with the word some, as in "some of the clean cut guys you know".  

    Now you are right that my particular peer group is a subset of Black America BUT let me give something to think about.  When you see TV shows, magazine articles, blogs, message boards where sisters are complaining about the shortage of good men, the women who are talking the most and the loudest are the professional sistas.   They are the ones leading the dialogue.   In order to really address that dialogue one has to take a serious look at who's doing talking and consider their background.

The incredibly high divorce rate among our folk and the staggering out-of-wedlock birthrate stand as testimony that the problem goes much deeper than some imagined shortage of good black men. A learned man such as yourself should know better. And of course it would be professional sisters shown on TV and in magazines. Just as you have mistakenly come to the conclusion that your degrees somehow make you more qualified than others, so too do the broadcasters seek to lend legitimacy to their offerings by trotting out so-called experts and polling professional women on what they think. What did you expect? That they'd go to the hood and ask SheNaynay why she has 3 kids by 3 fathers and how thoses relationships went? The first aim of most media is entertainment; truth and fact-finding are often irrelevant.  

Now as far as this statement:  So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.   

   Brotha came at me like he knew what he was talking about and he really didn't so I let him know.   Other than that feel free to take the statement anyway you want.   Different people will read different things into the statement.

Again, you have come into this forum with your experiences. But, they are not typical of many black folks as you yourself have made abundantly clear. The experiences of the poster who asked you a legitimate question may be very different from those you have shared here. Why is his truth any less viable than yours? As to that bit about "sit back and learn" yes, different folks probably will read various things into your statement. However, I would bet most people would be absolutely astonished at your condescension and unabashed hubris.

One statement I take issue with is the following:  "...offer your paltry limited experience as a rebuttal to the obvious reality?"

     You don't know my experience do you?  Unless you grew up with me you don't know what I know.   Think about that statement because reality is subjective.   Black women have always been receptive to me even when I didn't know they were.  So my perspective is different from the average brotha.  That's the whole point.  If people are serious about have positive relationships they need to talk to the people who have those relationships.

Think on this.

Sir, you make my point for me. The paltry limited experience I referred to was that which you described, no more or less. I used those words because your experiences are not indicative of most of black society. In that respect, they are indeed paltry and limited. They serve as nothing more than a poor and non-comprehensive opinion when viewed from the perspective of the overall problem, though they may be a rich and accurate description of what goes on with your peers. That you chose to take offense to this is not at all surprising.

Peace,
Rom


By the way, Sir, I'd be careful about citing the fact that you are an author in order to lend yourself a bit more legitimacy. After all, anyone can self-publish.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Rom Wills - 06-27-2009 03:03 AM

koolkc107 Wrote:

Rom Wills Wrote:

koolkc107 Wrote:
What does your law degree have to do with an honest request for statistics to back up an assertion some may find spurious? As an attorney, one would think you would readily rely more upon cold hard facts than "twisted logic you pull out your azz". As I posted previously, I readily accept the truth of what you say on an anecdotal level. I freely concede that it has in all likelihood been your experience that clean cut guys are dogs. After all, that would seem to be the only types of men you interact with on a regular basis. You have written that your peer group is educated men and that the women you and they interact with are also educated (sorority sisters are by definition college educated). Sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but your life stories are not what most of Black America has experienced, although I wish that this was not the case. While your social strata is a definite real sub-segment of black society, it is not at all representative of the whole. Surely, your degrees of higher learning should help you discern this truth. As you yourself just posted:  

These ELITE brothas and sistas don't even socialize the same way as other black folks.  

So I must ask, why in God's name would you come into a forum that is trying to address the rampant deterioration of the relationships of Black society as a whole, and offer your paltry limited experience as a rebuttal to the obvious reality?

By the way, the following statement raised my eyebrows:

     So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.

I hope that this is not indicative of your outlook towards all brothers and sisters who happen to not have been as fortunate as you. To imply that there is nothing you can learn from someone who is not so-called "elite" may say many things about you and I would argue that not much of it is positive. Shake yourself, brother.


   First of all, I mentioned the law degree to give readers an idea about my perspective.  

Not so. You mentioned your law degree in an attempt to denigrate a poster who asked you an honest question. Here is part of the post in question:

Josephrr,

    I see you didn't quote the part of my post where I said I have college and law degrees.   St. Joseph's University, Philadelphia, PA, Class of 1987.  American University Law School, Washington, DC Class of 1990.   Professional brothas ARE my peer group.  I don't need stats to back up a lifestyle that I LIVED with similar Black men.   Speaking of which I'm maybe two degrees of separation from that BROTHA in the White House.   One of my best friends is a highly respected political commentor.

Where are your degrees from?


Your perspective, huh? Sounds like you and your perspective are complete strangers to decorum and tact.   

I included Attorneys as being among the suit and tie brothas who may still be players.   Not all attorneys of course but I'm making statements as an insider.    First of all there are no hard facts about anyone's sexual practices.   Nobody to my knowledge did a survey of brothas in different professions asking the questions, "Are you players?  Do you dog women?"   Even if such a survey was undertaken how many men or women would answer truthfully.  A few years ago I wanted to put together a forum with true players addressing an audience.  The men refused because the REAL womanizers are undercover because often they are having sex with somebody's wife.  

   Stop and think about this.

Perhaps you should have stopped and thought about answering the poster more like the above than in the manner you opted for, trying to belittle him by giving him your mini-bio. If you want to maintain there is no hard data, then simply say so and do your "teaching" from there. It is my experience that most true experts spend less time trying to prove their qualifications and more time actually addressing their area of expertise.

    Also really read what I said, did I say ALL clean cut guys are dogs?   If anything my message was that SOME of the biggest dogs are clean cut.

Point taken. I, of course should have qualified my sentence with the word some, as in "some of the clean cut guys you know".  

    Now you are right that my particular peer group is a subset of Black America BUT let me give something to think about.  When you see TV shows, magazine articles, blogs, message boards where sisters are complaining about the shortage of good men, the women who are talking the most and the loudest are the professional sistas.   They are the ones leading the dialogue.   In order to really address that dialogue one has to take a serious look at who's doing talking and consider their background.

The incredibly high divorce rate among our folk and the staggering out-of-wedlock birthrate stand as testimony that the problem goes much deeper than some imagined shortage of good black men. A learned man such as yourself should know better. And of course it would be professional sisters shown on TV and in magazines. Just as you have mistakenly come to the conclusion that your degrees somehow make you more qualified than others, so too do the broadcasters seek to lend legitimacy to their offerings by trotting out so-called experts and polling professional women on what they think. What did you expect? That they'd go to the hood and ask SheNaynay why she has 3 kids by 3 fathers and how thoses relationships went? The first aim of most media is entertainment; truth and fact-finding are often irrelevant.  

Now as far as this statement:  So unless you can tell me that you are among the ELITE Brothas you need to sit back and learn.   

   Brotha came at me like he knew what he was talking about and he really didn't so I let him know.   Other than that feel free to take the statement anyway you want.   Different people will read different things into the statement.

Again, you have come into this forum with your experiences. But, they are not typical of many black folks as you yourself have made abundantly clear. The experiences of the poster who asked you a legitimate question may be very different from those you have shared here. Why is his truth any less viable than yours? As to that bit about "sit back and learn" yes, different folks probably will read various things into your statement. However, I would bet most people would be absolutely astonished at your condescension and unabashed hubris.

One statement I take issue with is the following:  "...offer your paltry limited experience as a rebuttal to the obvious reality?"

     You don't know my experience do you?  Unless you grew up with me you don't know what I know.   Think about that statement because reality is subjective.   Black women have always been receptive to me even when I didn't know they were.  So my perspective is different from the average brotha.  That's the whole point.  If people are serious about have positive relationships they need to talk to the people who have those relationships.

Think on this.

Sir, you make my point for me. The paltry limited experience I referred to was that which you described, no more or less. I used those words because your experiences are not indicative of most of black society. In that respect, they are indeed paltry and limited. They serve as nothing more than a poor and non-comprehensive opinion when viewed from the perspective of the overall problem, though they may be a rich and accurate description of what goes on with your peers. That you chose to take offense to this is not at all surprising.

Peace,
Rom


By the way, Sir, I'd be careful about citing the fact that you are an author in order to lend yourself a bit more legitimacy. After all, anyone can self-publish.


   You know what, an obversation I've made over the years is that people can made strong statements on message boards but when the same people are asked what are they doing in the real world to make a difference they are strangely silent.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - koolkc107 - 06-27-2009 05:35 AM

  
koolkc107 wrote:
By the way, Sir, I'd be careful about citing the fact that you are an author in order to lend yourself a bit more legitimacy. After all, anyone can self-publish.

Rom Wills wrote:
   You know what, an obversation I've made over the years is that people can made strong statements on message boards but when the same people are asked what are they doing in the real world to make a difference they are strangely silent.


That observation will indeed hold today, as I value my privacy. You have obviously confused me with someone who cares what you think. But rest assured, any difference I might be making is not steeped in self-promotion and faux expertise. You are free to continue to sell people on what you claim to be doing and I will do what I can do in my community- or not.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Rom Wills - 06-27-2009 06:31 AM

koolkc107 Wrote:
  
koolkc107 wrote:
By the way, Sir, I'd be careful about citing the fact that you are an author in order to lend yourself a bit more legitimacy. After all, anyone can self-publish.

Rom Wills wrote:
   You know what, an obversation I've made over the years is that people can made strong statements on message boards but when the same people are asked what are they doing in the real world to make a difference they are strangely silent.


That observation will indeed hold today, as I value my privacy. You have obviously confused me with someone who cares what you think. But rest assured, any difference I might be making is not steeped in self-promotion and faux expertise. You are free to continue to sell people on what you claim to be doing and I will do what I can do in my community- or not.


   Spoken like a coward.   See it's easy to talk shit behind a screen name.  It takes a MAN to look another man in the eye and say the same thing.   I see you perfectly.  If a man isn't ready to lay his life on the line to back up his statements he is weak.   I've put myself out there to fight for what I believe.   That's what it means to be a man.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-27-2009 06:58 AM

I'm sorry to step back into this, but I can't help but mention that your statement you just made sounds very similar to something a street thug would say and not the words of a highly educated litigator.  Just an observation.   Maybe you could elaborate on how that phrasing is fitting of your stature as the "Elite" man you are.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - koolkc107 - 06-27-2009 07:03 AM

Rom Wills Wrote:

koolkc107 Wrote:
  
koolkc107 wrote:
By the way, Sir, I'd be careful about citing the fact that you are an author in order to lend yourself a bit more legitimacy. After all, anyone can self-publish.

Rom Wills wrote:
   You know what, an obversation I've made over the years is that people can made strong statements on message boards but when the same people are asked what are they doing in the real world to make a difference they are strangely silent.


That observation will indeed hold today, as I value my privacy. You have obviously confused me with someone who cares what you think. But rest assured, any difference I might be making is not steeped in self-promotion and faux expertise. You are free to continue to sell people on what you claim to be doing and I will do what I can do in my community- or not.


   Spoken like a coward.   See it's easy to talk shit behind a screen name.  It takes a MAN to look another man in the eye and say the same thing.   I see you perfectly.  If a man isn't ready to lay his life on the line to back up his statements he is weak.   I've put myself out there to fight for what I believe.   That's what it means to be a man.


Sir, I am neither a coward nor am I talking shit. If I was, surely a learned man like yourself would be able to make better arguments in response. But if you are made more comfortable thinking these things, then so be it. As to the "laying of my life on the line" if you'd like to look me in the eye and say what is on your mind, message me the next time your "book tour" takes you to Orlando. No one has to know but you and I. Can you see me now?


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - koolkc107 - 06-27-2009 07:18 AM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
I'm sorry to step back into this, but I can't help but mention that your statement you just made sounds very similar to something a street thug would say and not the words of a highly educated litigator.  Just an observation.   Maybe you could elaborate on how that phrasing is fitting of your stature as the "Elite" man you are.


Thank you, my brother, for pointing this out. Let me also point something out. As you know Tim, you and I have disagreed vehemently and passionately on some things. Do you ever recollect me coming at you in the manner Bro. Wills has repeatedly adopted (not just with me) since he started posting? For my part I can say that as much as you may have belittled or rebutted my positions, you have never ever made it personal. That is why you have always had my respect.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Rom Wills - 06-27-2009 07:57 AM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
I'm sorry to step back into this, but I can't help but mention that your statement you just made sounds very similar to something a street thug would say and not the words of a highly educated litigator.  Just an observation.   Maybe you could elaborate on how that phrasing is fitting of your stature as the "Elite" man you are.


    Regardless of a man's station in life he has to be prepared to get gully if he has to.   If you are walking down the street with your wife and children and some thugs say something rude to them are you going to keep walking or step to them?   Many federal law enforcement agents are also law school graduates and trust me they have no problem getting down and dirty.   One of best friends from law school worked with street gangs.  If that makes me a street thug, fine.  You know what, my wife always know that anyone who gets slick with her will be dealt with.   I make no apologizes for standing like a man is supposed to do.  

   I'm serious on this.   I'm in my forties, and when I was growing up, even brothas from upper class backgrounds were expected to be able to fight.   You know how it was back in the day.   I was taught by the men in my family and especially my grandmother to take it to somebody's jaw if I had to.   I was always taught to fight for my principles and to never let anyone question my integrity.  

    So bottom line, if I'm thug, whatever, because as long as my wife, sons, and friends know who I am, that's all that matters.

Peace,
Rom


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - Rom Wills - 06-27-2009 08:00 AM

koolkc107 Wrote:

Rom Wills Wrote:

koolkc107 Wrote:
  
koolkc107 wrote:
By the way, Sir, I'd be careful about citing the fact that you are an author in order to lend yourself a bit more legitimacy. After all, anyone can self-publish.

Rom Wills wrote:
   You know what, an obversation I've made over the years is that people can made strong statements on message boards but when the same people are asked what are they doing in the real world to make a difference they are strangely silent.


That observation will indeed hold today, as I value my privacy. You have obviously confused me with someone who cares what you think. But rest assured, any difference I might be making is not steeped in self-promotion and faux expertise. You are free to continue to sell people on what you claim to be doing and I will do what I can do in my community- or not.


   Spoken like a coward.   See it's easy to talk shit behind a screen name.  It takes a MAN to look another man in the eye and say the same thing.   I see you perfectly.  If a man isn't ready to lay his life on the line to back up his statements he is weak.   I've put myself out there to fight for what I believe.   That's what it means to be a man.


Sir, I am neither a coward nor am I talking shit. If I was, surely a learned man like yourself would be able to make better arguments in response. But if you are made more comfortable thinking these things, then so be it. As to the "laying of my life on the line" if you'd like to look me in the eye and say what is on your mind, message me the next time your "book tour" takes you to Orlando. No one has to know but you and I. Can you see me now?


   I see you perfectly.  Be sure and send a picture so I know who I'm looking for.    

    Regardless of what you say you are still behind a computer screen.  People can verify any statements I make.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-27-2009 08:21 AM

koolkc107 Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
I'm sorry to step back into this, but I can't help but mention that your statement you just made sounds very similar to something a street thug would say and not the words of a highly educated litigator.  Just an observation.   Maybe you could elaborate on how that phrasing is fitting of your stature as the "Elite" man you are.


Thank you, my brother, for pointing this out. Let me also point something out. As you know Tim, you and I have disagreed vehemently and passionately on some things. Do you ever recollect me coming at you in the manner Bro. Wills has repeatedly adopted (not just with me) since he started posting? For my part I can say that as much as you may have belittled or rebutted my positions, you have never ever made it personal. That is why you have always had my respect.


Thank you Sir and the same respect to you.  And I agree, I just can not see an "Elite" highly educated attorney such as Johnnie Cochran presenting himself, his argument or dealing with a personal conflict like this gentleman has done here in this forum.  I also doubt that Mr. Johnnie Cochran would ever present himself as an ex-player who only associated with player friends - what would that profit this highly regard man in the respect department?

And you Sir (koolkc) are one of the most intelligent well spoken and articulate gentlemen in this forum - and you should never have been addressed in a street thug type of threatening tone.  I'm not with that, much respect was lost from me for him and his position - and I am not saying that to disrespect him 0 I just wish he had handled himself with more respect so I could respect him more.

The challenging of your manhood, coward calling, chest thumping, fight to the death challenge, calling you weak and less then a man - all in one short paragraph mind you - is not usually the way an "Elite" educated attorney presents himself as I have met a few, but it is very much akin to any common neighborhood street thug.  I'm sorry, but that kind of approach is just to familiar to me from growing up in the hood with bullies and thugs to that to people and each other everyday.  The studious more conservative kids who grew up to be the type of men I refer to as "Good men" never presented themselves in such an unbecoming manner - this disagreed of course - everybody does.  But they never said stuff like this with the mind to intimidate!

I am so disappointed that you were addressed this way in my forum Sir.  I will try my best to work to keep your respect here in the forum I built and moderate Sir.  

Much respect.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-27-2009 08:41 AM

Rom Wills Wrote:

koolkc107 Wrote:

Rom Wills Wrote:

koolkc107 Wrote:
  
koolkc107 wrote:
By the way, Sir, I'd be careful about citing the fact that you are an author in order to lend yourself a bit more legitimacy. After all, anyone can self-publish.

Rom Wills wrote:
   You know what, an obversation I've made over the years is that people can made strong statements on message boards but when the same people are asked what are they doing in the real world to make a difference they are strangely silent.


That observation will indeed hold today, as I value my privacy. You have obviously confused me with someone who cares what you think. But rest assured, any difference I might be making is not steeped in self-promotion and faux expertise. You are free to continue to sell people on what you claim to be doing and I will do what I can do in my community- or not.


   Spoken like a coward.   See it's easy to talk shit behind a screen name.  It takes a MAN to look another man in the eye and say the same thing.   I see you perfectly.  If a man isn't ready to lay his life on the line to back up his statements he is weak.   I've put myself out there to fight for what I believe.   That's what it means to be a man.


Sir, I am neither a coward nor am I talking shit. If I was, surely a learned man like yourself would be able to make better arguments in response. But if you are made more comfortable thinking these things, then so be it. As to the "laying of my life on the line" if you'd like to look me in the eye and say what is on your mind, message me the next time your "book tour" takes you to Orlando. No one has to know but you and I. Can you see me now?


   I see you perfectly.  Be sure and send a picture so I know who I'm looking for.    

    Regardless of what you say you are still behind a computer screen.  People can verify any statements I make.


We don't need to do this here Rom, this is not a good look for any of us - especially you as an author and attorney.  And in you brief appearance here, in this one thread you have referenced getting physical with two different men now - with you being the aggressor when not being aggressed upon.  Is that you first course of action for all of your conflicts?  I hope to God it never spills over to your lovely wife.  I'm just saying, that does happen to women sometime.

And by the way, the type of "good men" I referred to from the onset of this thread - would never resort to using threatening remarks of physical violence or intimidation in their defense of their point on a forum with some anonymous person.  As much as I have been through here on this forum - I have never done that... I have way to much class then to suggest a brawl with another man because I don't fancy a post he made in a thread about good men.

And by the way, what exactly was your motivation to  just "Pop UP" out of the clear blue and post on this topic of all things?  This does not help the cause of what good men go through with women - but what good women go through with bad men.  So why are you being defensive  - and aggressive - here?

I find that odd and potentially very telling from the way you have chosen to present yourself in your bold introduction of yourself and your manhood in this forum.  I just hope you "never take it to the jaw" like grandma told you to your wife if she pushes a good brotha like you a bit to far by challenging your manhood.

But them again, you probably already have her trained better then that by now.  Yes, I'm sure she does know who you are.  So now I guess it is my turn for some harsh words (Just words, whatever) - OK, I'm ready.  Shoot.

By the way, are you aware that you actually disrupted the flow here and did or said nothing to further the cause of good calm relaxed black men who are just looking for a nice gentle woman to love?  Just thought I would bring that small point to your attention.  OK hit me. Icon_cool

A Personal Note: Sorry I'm back at you ROM, but I just can't sit by and watch you address a man who I respect and hold in such high regard as this man, without stepping in to show some blaring misalignments of your position relative to the standards I am promoting about what a good man stands for and how he presents himself.  You just don't line up with it, and it is not a good look for you or the men of this forum.  What's with all this man bickering in a forum where men have come together to get women to stop bickering with us?  This is like the male equivalent of chick-fighting!  Please Rom, let's not do this.  Zero men were in any form of disagreement until you rolled your way in here - so what does that say to you?  Do you even care?  I think that puts you, a man, on the same side as the 3 disagreeable women we have in this forum - is that really the team you want to be on?  So what does that say about your manhood.  You probably want to hit me too now right?  Well how about working to hit the issue about the drama some women put good men through instead - after all, that is what this forum was erected to do in case your lurking had not made that clear too you yet.  Great first thread for you to decide to introduce yourself in; sorry, that was sarcasm.  My bad.

See, I said everything I had to say and you were not threatened once!  So it can be done.  I curious though... When you take legal cases (assuming you actually do) are you the one who defends the bad guys and the guilty ones?  I'm just curious - because they seem more like "your type and your peers" from what you have shared with us here.  You seem to like roughish men a lot.  I don't.



RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Rom Wills - 06-27-2009 10:20 AM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

Rom Wills Wrote:

koolkc107 Wrote:

Rom Wills Wrote:

koolkc107 Wrote:
  
koolkc107 wrote:
By the way, Sir, I'd be careful about citing the fact that you are an author in order to lend yourself a bit more legitimacy. After all, anyone can self-publish.

Rom Wills wrote:
   You know what, an obversation I've made over the years is that people can made strong statements on message boards but when the same people are asked what are they doing in the real world to make a difference they are strangely silent.


That observation will indeed hold today, as I value my privacy. You have obviously confused me with someone who cares what you think. But rest assured, any difference I might be making is not steeped in self-promotion and faux expertise. You are free to continue to sell people on what you claim to be doing and I will do what I can do in my community- or not.


   Spoken like a coward.   See it's easy to talk shit behind a screen name.  It takes a MAN to look another man in the eye and say the same thing.   I see you perfectly.  If a man isn't ready to lay his life on the line to back up his statements he is weak.   I've put myself out there to fight for what I believe.   That's what it means to be a man.


Sir, I am neither a coward nor am I talking shit. If I was, surely a learned man like yourself would be able to make better arguments in response. But if you are made more comfortable thinking these things, then so be it. As to the "laying of my life on the line" if you'd like to look me in the eye and say what is on your mind, message me the next time your "book tour" takes you to Orlando. No one has to know but you and I. Can you see me now?


   I see you perfectly.  Be sure and send a picture so I know who I'm looking for.    

    Regardless of what you say you are still behind a computer screen.  People can verify any statements I make.


We don't need to do this here Rom, this is not a good look for any of us - especially you as an author and attorney.  And in you brief appearance here, in this one thread you have referenced getting physical with two different men now - with you being the aggressor when not being aggressed upon.  Is that you first course of action for all of your conflicts?  I hope to God it never spills over to your lovely wife.  I'm just saying, that does happen to women sometime.

And by the way, the type of "good men" I referred to from the onset of this thread - would never resort to using threatening remarks of physical violence or intimidation in their defense of their point on a forum with some anonymous person.  As much as I have been through here on this forum - I have never done that... I have way to much class then to suggest a brawl with another man because I don't fancy a post he made in a thread about good men.

And by the way, what exactly was your motivation to  just "Pop UP" out of the clear blue and post on this topic of all things?  This does not help the cause of what good men go through with women - but what good women go through with bad men.  So why are you being defensive  - and aggressive - here?

I find that odd and potentially very telling from the way you have chosen to present yourself in your bold introduction of yourself and your manhood in this forum.  I just hope you "never take it to the jaw" like grandma told you to your wife if she pushes a good brotha like you a bit to far by challenging your manhood.

But them again, you probably already have her trained better then that by now.  Yes, I'm sure she does know who you are.  So now I guess it is my turn for some harsh words (Just words, whatever) - OK, I'm ready.  Shoot.

By the way, are you aware that you actually disrupted the flow here and did or said nothing to further the cause of good calm relaxed black men who are just looking for a nice gentle woman to love?  Just thought I would bring that small point to your attention.  OK hit me. Icon_cool

A Personal Note: Sorry I'm back at you ROM, but I just can't sit by and watch you address a man who I respect and hold in such high regard as this man, without stepping in to show some blaring misalignments of your position relative to the standards I am promoting about what a good man stands for and how he presents himself.  You just don't line up with it, and it is not a good look for you or the men of this forum.  What's with all this man bickering in a forum where men have come together to get women to stop bickering with us?  This is like the male equivalent of chick-fighting!  Please Rom, let's not do this.  Zero men were in any form of disagreement until you rolled your way in here - so what does that say to you?  Do you even care?  I think that puts you, a man, on the same side as the 3 disagreeable women we have in this forum - is that really the team you want to be on?  So what does that say about your manhood.  You probably want to hit me too now right?  Well how about working to hit the issue about the drama some women put good men through instead - after all, that is what this forum was erected to do in case your lurking had not made that clear too you yet.  Great first thread for you to decide to introduce yourself in; sorry, that was sarcasm.  My bad.

See, I said everything I had to say and you were not threatened once!  So it can be done.  I curious though... When you take legal cases (assuming you actually do) are you the one who defends the bad guys and the guilty ones?  I'm just curious - because they seem more like "your type and your peers" from what you have shared with us here.  You seem to like roughish men a lot.  I don't.


    First don't ever make the suggestion I would put my hands on my wife.  The fact you even said it that makes a strong statement about what's in your heart.   Psychologists call it "projection." Also my wife isn't a weak woman who needs to be trained.   Once again the fact you would even make the statement speaks volumes about your character and who you really are for even thinking such a thing.  But then again I see how you handle strong-minded women on this board.   In fact, A whole lot of people see how handle yourself.

    You know what, you talk about the drama women put men through.   I have no concept of that drama.   Women look in my eyes and know that I ain't playing with them. Somebody like "Tonya" would have been no more than a jump-off for me and probably not even that because  she couldn't bring anything else to the table.   Black women respect strong men period.   A truly strong brotha ain't having no drama from a Black woman.   The only thing Black women have in common with a "Tired Black Man" is the "Tired Black Man".   A man has to look within because all a woman is to a man is a mirror.   If he is weak he will run into women who will disrepect him until he is strong.   If he is strong he will run into women who feel protected in that strength.  The "House of the Man" is built from within.  You can't change another human being but you can change yourself.   I've been telling women that message as well.

     Look, the bottom line I've been doing my thing building men since the late eighties.   I've counseled many brothas including those labeled thugs.   So I know I've made a difference.   Whether or not you or anyone on this board agrees with that is irrelevant.    A google search can give people an idea about me if they really need to know.

I'm out, cause I see your spirit and now other people do as well.

Rom - Anuk Ausar


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - skii - 06-27-2009 10:31 AM

Rom Wills Wrote:


    First don't ever make the suggestion I would put my hands on my wife.  The fact you even said it that makes a strong statement about what's in your heart.   Psychologists call it "projection." Also my wife isn't a weak woman who needs to be trained.   Once again the fact you would even make the statement speaks volumes about your character and who you really are for even thinking such a thing.  But then again I see how you handle strong-minded women on this board.   In fact, A whole lot of people see how handle yourself.

   



This is nothing but the truth.  Any woman who disagrees with him and speaks her mind, no matter how nicely, is called names, and berated.  Be the Dream, Maya, Serendipity, Ms.Heartbeat, and me (MiiMii, Jst) and others.  But he doesn't pull that crap with men.  He's all "respect" blah blah blah, probably because he's scared that some man will come along and beat his ass.  Icon_lol  And I would not be the least bit surprised if Tim, physically or verbally abused his wife because he clearly has very little respect for women unless they are co-signing with his every word.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-27-2009 10:46 AM

Rom Wills Wrote:
    First don't ever make the suggestion I would put my hands on my wife.  The fact you even said it that makes a strong statement about what's in your heart.   Psychologists call it "projection." Also my wife isn't a weak woman who needs to be trained.   Once again the fact you would even make the statement speaks volumes about your character and who you really are for even thinking such a thing.  But then again I see how you handle strong-minded women on this board.   In fact, A whole lot of people see how handle yourself.

    You know what, you talk about the drama women put men through.   I have no concept of that drama.   Women look in my eyes and know that I ain't playing with them. Somebody like "Tonya" would have been no more than a jump-off for me and probably not even that because  she couldn't bring anything else to the table.   Black women respect strong men period.   A truly strong brotha ain't having no drama from a Black woman.   The only thing Black women have in common with a "Tired Black Man" is the "Tired Black Man".   A man has to look within because all a woman is to a man is a mirror.   If he is weak he will run into women who will disrepect him until he is strong.   If he is strong he will run into women who feel protected in that strength.  The "House of the Man" is built from within.  You can't change another human being but you can change yourself.   I've been telling women that message as well.

     Look, the bottom line I've been doing my thing building men since the late eighties.   I've counseled many brothas including those labeled thugs.   So I know I've made a difference.   Whether or not you or anyone on this board agrees with that is irrelevant.    A google search can give people an idea about me if they really need to know.

I'm out, cause I see your spirit and now other people do as well.

Rom - Anuk Ausar


I'm good with that.  We are all good with that.  We were good here before.  This forum is not for everyone.  Have a good day sir.  Good luck in all of your ventures as we are all working in our own unique ways for change.  We just do it from different directions and attract different groups of people as we do it.  Do you sir as I continue to do me.

God bless, and peace to you my brotha.  All is back to as it was before.  I'm good with that.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - koolkc107 - 06-27-2009 03:06 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

koolkc107 Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
I'm sorry to step back into this, but I can't help but mention that your statement you just made sounds very similar to something a street thug would say and not the words of a highly educated litigator.  Just an observation.   Maybe you could elaborate on how that phrasing is fitting of your stature as the "Elite" man you are.


Thank you, my brother, for pointing this out. Let me also point something out. As you know Tim, you and I have disagreed vehemently and passionately on some things. Do you ever recollect me coming at you in the manner Bro. Wills has repeatedly adopted (not just with me) since he started posting? For my part I can say that as much as you may have belittled or rebutted my positions, you have never ever made it personal. That is why you have always had my respect.


Thank you Sir and the same respect to you.  And I agree, I just can not see an "Elite" highly educated attorney such as Johnnie Cochran presenting himself, his argument or dealing with a personal conflict like this gentleman has done here in this forum.  I also doubt that Mr. Johnnie Cochran would ever present himself as an ex-player who only associated with player friends - what would that profit this highly regard man in the respect department?

And you Sir (koolkc) are one of the most intelligent well spoken and articulate gentlemen in this forum - and you should never have been addressed in a street thug type of threatening tone.  I'm not with that, much respect was lost from me for him and his position - and I am not saying that to disrespect him 0 I just wish he had handled himself with more respect so I could respect him more.

The challenging of your manhood, coward calling, chest thumping, fight to the death challenge, calling you weak and less then a man - all in one short paragraph mind you - is not usually the way an "Elite" educated attorney presents himself as I have met a few, but it is very much akin to any common neighborhood street thug.  I'm sorry, but that kind of approach is just to familiar to me from growing up in the hood with bullies and thugs to that to people and each other everyday.  The studious more conservative kids who grew up to be the type of men I refer to as "Good men" never presented themselves in such an unbecoming manner - this disagreed of course - everybody does.  But they never said stuff like this with the mind to intimidate!

I am so disappointed that you were addressed this way in my forum Sir.  I will try my best to work to keep your respect here in the forum I built and moderate Sir.  

Much respect.


Thank you very much for your kind words. One of the things I've always enjoyed about this forum is the intelligent, sometimes passionate back and forth that goes on between posters. All of it, of course, done against the backdrop of respect and courtesy with all embracing the common goal of trying to improve ourselves and others. Rest assured that one or two malcontents have not blemished this outstanding site in my eyes. As to the specific new poster in question, I've said my piece and as far as I'm concerned, the ball is in his court. I will avoid engaging the person in any discourse whatsoever, as it is clear that there are issues involved that have nothing to do with this forum or anyone in it. I do have one suggestion for him, though. Perhaps he should show this thread to a trusted friend, another man, and see what that friend thinks. I know in my life it has sometimes taken someone I trust to show me where I've erred. Peace to you Tim, and do not let anyone or anything deter you from continuing the good work you are doing. You have thousands of testimonials- not 2 or 3- to verify the value of what you do.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-27-2009 03:21 PM

Thanks kool, we continue to stand strong with the real TBM members in the face of it all.  And they are right, this forum is not for everyone nor will i be nice to everyone.  I will hold the fort and protect our unified position against the issues we understand and want to see righted.

Bless you brotha, and I will always have your back if you are disrespected in here my house.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - amelia906 - 06-27-2009 05:30 PM

Hi all, I just finished watching this movie and had to come and comment on IT. First if you get with a drama queen you get drama, the woman in this film just didn't start acting like that she was like that before you married her and you chose to ignore this fact. It's ashamed that you have a child involved now and she will be experiencing just what you were refering to throughout the film a woman growing up with negative vibes about daddy.
Personally I was blessed to be raised with loving parents, my Father and Mother both worked hard to provide for our family. We were taught Christian values and ethics, but that doesn't exempt any woman from choosing the wrong man. I have a strong Father and wanted to marry someone just like him. Unfortunately being raised in a small town and shut off from most of the world did not help me find a mate and when I met my husband  ( I am now a widow), he was all that ..... at least I thought after the first seven wonderful years my  husband turned into a monster a real live horror show and the reasons:  I worked too hard, I was too close to my Mother (who by the way was dying from cancer), I attended church too often, I was too involved with my community, I cooked, cleaned, washed, ironed, spoiled him rotten, but he wanted a good time girl who wanted to party all the time and I could not hang (how's that for a laugh?) Because I wouldn't stoop to being the all about town, share myself with other men or women, I was abused, kidnapped, raped, and shot. Only by the grace of God did I survive this man and he was clean cut, hard working, intelligent, and turned out to be very controlling.
What I did learn from my twenty three year marriage is that no matter what..... God was in control and there were lessons to be learned.
Now after being widowed for five years or so, I find myself out dating and to tell the truth it is crazy out there. A good woman has a hard time finding a good man. Most of the men are looking for someone to take care of them and to re-raise them personally I'm not up for the task.
I AM THE ULTIMATE TIRED BLACK STRONG GOD FEARING WOMAN, BECAUSE I KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO TREAT A MAN, BUT THERE ARE NONE TO BE FOUND HERE. LOL
But I do understand you somewhat but not much, because it is really all about what a person believes in, there morales and ethics. I am glad to see that you are happy though, many blessings with you and your new wife, please don't neglect your daughter, because she is your flesh and needs your guidance so she will find a good man when the time comes.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-27-2009 05:50 PM

Thank you for your post Amelia, and I am sorry to hear what you had to endure.  The one way I differ from the man who played out my life in the movie - is I did not marry her, and the daughter was hers from a prior relationship and not mine.  Everything was accurate to how she behaved with me.

So no, I will not have a messed up daughter, some other poor man will.  At 7, she was already gone.  It was sad to see.  I am happy now with twin sons and 2 step sons with my wife and love of my life.  Thank you for being concerned.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - amelia906 - 06-28-2009 07:59 AM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Thank you for your post Amelia, and I am sorry to hear what you had to endure.  The one way I differ from the man who played out my life in the movie - is I did not marry her, and the daughter was hers from a prior relationship and not mine.  Everything was accurate to how she behaved with me.

So no, I will not have a messed up daughter, some other poor man will.  At 7, she was already gone.  It was sad to see.  I am happy now with twin sons and 2 step sons with my wife and love of my life.  Thank you for being concerned.


You are truly blessed, children are a blessing and knowing what you do I am sure your sons will turn out to be loving men and I pray God fearing men. For if men love God with their whole being they will truly know how to treat women. God bless.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - writerchic80 - 06-29-2009 09:04 AM

Whoa . . .whoa . . .let's cool our heels!!

How did this go from a post promoting brothas out there who carry themselves well . . .to personal attacks on each other? I repeat, I do not think this thread was meant to insist that brothas who "look" a certain way are the ones women should pursue. I think the message is that no person should be automatically judged at first glance BUT credit should be given to a man who takes pride in his appearance. If our daughters were to bring home a young man who sagged his pants, had four gold teeth, and tattoed from head to toe .  . .we would immediately go for our shotguns. However, if she brought home a young man with tucked pants, polos, and khakis we would welcome him with open arms. Either one is capable of hurting her, disrespecting you, or could happen to be a really nice guy.

The point is that something has to be said for a man who is so secure in his manhood that he doesn't have to be flashy. He is so secure in his life that he doesn't need to wear his wealth on his labels. A good man can wear whatever he pleases; however, I would be more inclined to pursue the good man that I can bring to meet my grandparents. Just like a woman who dresses provocatively could be a good woman . . .she will get passed up because she carries herself like a slut (I hate to be so candid - but it is the truth). A good man that dresses too street . . . will get passed up for carrying himself like a thug.

Rom - I stand corrected for misreading your post (as far as your frat membership is concerned) and I do respect what you have to say . . . I honestly do. I wasn't taking digs at you personally because I do not know you. I was only referring to your embracing of the "elite" status and excluding yourself from other "black folk".

Before I joined this site I "googled" Tim . . . and as a fellow writer . . . I googled you as well. I applaud your efforts to guide black men or men in general. You both have such strong convictions and some positive ideas for our community. I think had you approached this forum and this board differently you would've been readily embraced because your own goals are not far from Tim's or any of this forum's members. It is ok to disagree here but disagreeing for the sake of being the devil's advocate is doing nothing for the movement but keeping it a standstill . . . or should I say "standoff".


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - IslandRa - 06-29-2009 09:12 AM

People that are looking for a fight, will fight regardless of what is obvious or what should go without saying.  I am suprised that this post has gone as long as it has.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - writerchic80 - 06-29-2009 09:15 AM

IslandRa Wrote:
People that are looking for a fight, will fight regardless of what is obviousa or what should go without saying.  I am suprised that this post has gone as long as it has.


Perfectly stated.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 09:46 AM

IslandRa Wrote:
People that are looking for a fight, will fight regardless of what is obvious or what should go without saying.  I am suprised that this post has gone as long as it has.


Wisdom spoke.  There should never have been a fight here for any reason.  A few people made this thread get ridiculous, it never should have gone in the directions that it went.  It was a very simple point, that should have been easily understood - even by someone of limited perspective.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - koolkc107 - 06-29-2009 09:52 AM

IslandRa Wrote:
People that are looking for a fight, will fight regardless of what is obvious or what should go without saying.  I am suprised that this post has gone as long as it has.



I agree with this. However, I do not think folks should be allowed to come in this forum and start browbeating posters who ask legitimate questions. And I will never be silent when I feel someone is attempting to personally disrespect me. Lastly, when someone comes into this forum and tries to represent themselves as some kind of expert, it is not a personal attack to question that person's credentials. For example, there is a difference between an independent filmmaker whose film sold so many copies that it was picked up by a major film distributor and someone who had to go into their own pocket to publish a book that has sold a limited number of copies (to be fair, if that same self-published person has helped hundreds of folks individually, then one may choose to qualify him or her in that way). Who one wants to acknowledge as an expert is solely up to the individual, but in my view there is a substantive difference between the two examples.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Know!! - serendipity79 - 06-29-2009 11:27 AM

queenbastet Wrote:
I can't believe the ladies are hating on this thread.... why?  
It's not about judging a book by its cover, but that's what u have to go with when u first see him... at least learn the way a good man tends to carry hmself...
and then when u get to know him more, you will know if the interior matches the exterior.


I know the way my good man tends to carry himself. Another good man might carry himself differently. Good comes in a lot of different packages - just like bad. And sometimes good gets mistaken for bad and vice versa.

Can we retire that word "hatin"? I am always perplexed when I (or others) are automatically deemed to be "hatin" when we do not agree entirely with someone's viewpoint. It is possible for people to have opinions that are different from others without "hatin". There is also no harm in expressing those different points of view as long as it is done respectfully.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 01:19 PM

I find it interesting that women who would never date the "bad boys" in the bad group of photos don't choose to chime in in support of this thread - even though they would never even let a man like that get off the ground with them - he would be dismissed at "Hi".

Here, let me repost them here as a reminder...







Now what is the differeance of opinion here again?  Do you see any valid potential for these men to be "Good Men", husbands and fathers?  Would you really look deep and take a chance with them?

Or would it be safer to try with this guy instead.....









I think it should be more then obvious for any one who is not just here to disagree with me for argument sake that this last gentleman is the safer bet to be the more decent man - that is unless the women here personally are attracted to thugs and their ilk.  If so, then yeah - they probably could be great guys to choose from for you I guess.  

But, what would you first think if your daughter brought one of the men on this page home?  Which one would you want to see walk in the door.

Note:  It is starting to get a little silly that I even have to work this hard to make this simple point with the intelligent women of this forum - who have all chosen better then the thug group - and generally chose more conservative then flashy or thuggish men in their own personal lives.  Why would you even give an opposing point of view to the other young women who read your words?  Are you trying to help them - or trip them up for a goof?

Oh well, I guess it is just "fun argue with Tim time" as usual - because you can't possibly be serious!  I really don't see the points of the ladies who have contested this thread, as they really haven't made any points of any value.

Again - I did not guarantee that the conservative man was good - I just said he was a better place to start your investigation and search for one then the others.  The bad boys pictured are far far more likely to be just that - BAD BOYS - not men of standards.  And with all of that - some women (and one guy??) choose to disagree with... something or another here... Why?  What is your point?


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - serendipity79 - 06-29-2009 03:46 PM

queenbastet Wrote:

I can't believe the ladies are hating on this thread.... why?  

It's not about judging a book by its cover, but that's what u have to go with when u first see him... at least learn the way a good man tends to carry hmself...

and then when u get to know him more, you will know if the interior matches the exterior.

You are posting two extremes. Of course, I wouldn't be interested in the types of photos you have just posted. Luckily, in my social circle those men don't even exist nor am I in search of a "good man".

I also don't think anyone debates the old addage: Clothes and manners do not make the man; but, when he is made, they can greatly improve his appearance.

What we are simply saying is the same thing we learned in elementary school reading Aesop's fables, "Appearances are often deceiving.”

I have a friend who married awhile ago. When I first met her fiancee I judged him harshly and based strictly on his appearance I immediately labeled him as a thug. He dressed in baggy clothes and long t-shirts. He wears skulls on his jacket and his flat brimmed hat tipped to the side. His "appearance" fit perfectly with my mental stereotype of what a thug looks like.

When I spoke to him he was very well-spoken people and I was actually astonished that he could form complex sentences without resorting to ebonics. No that I think about it, I am sad that I judged him but that is the fallacy of human nature. Of course we should pay attention to red flags. Again those pictures you posted were rather extreme in my view. I don't live in the hood so maybe that's normal for the hood but those men are not the type of men I see day in and day out.

At any rate this man I labeled is now a great father, a good provider and he still dresses that way. It drives me nuts but it's how he feels comfortable and maybe that is because that is what he grew up around. But he's is in fact a good man and had my friend only paid attention to his exterior and not seen the good man behind the clothes, she probably would have missed out on this happy union she is enjoying now. I'm not saying this is the rule, of course. I'm just saying each situation should be considered on its own merits and not on popular opinion.

In addition, I have many many many many friend who are dating clean cut, well dressed men who have degrees and appear to be financially stable and as someone stated, they are just as promiscuous as the men who stand on the street corner and sell drugs. In fact, they probably get away with more because they project what a good man is supposed to be (see the underlined) and women don't see the bad boy coming.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 05:24 PM

serendipity79 Wrote:
Of course, I wouldn't be interested in the types of photos you have just posted. Luckily, in my social circle those men don't even exist nor am I in search of a "good man".


People do ware a uniform that represents who they are - if a woman dresses like a whore, their is a good chance she will back it up.  If a man dresses and looks like a thug - he might hurts you.  I am just saying that is a bad starting point - even if you don't need a man or have people like this in your circle - others do - and we are trying to help them - you are already OK.  Please let others learn, and don't distract from the message others need to hear just because you don't.  That is both unfair and counter productive to all of the hours of work I do here - a few million women think Lil' Wayne is sexy and would sleep with him in a finger snap - across all social economic and racial boundaries - even some church girls - I am just trying to bring to their attention that it is not a good idea if that is OK with you - I really think they need to hear it, but I do realize that you don't.  So if you are not thirsty, you should not stand in front of and block the drinking fountain from others who are, it is not helping them get the drink they so desperately need.

serendipity79 Wrote:
I don't live in the hood so maybe that's normal for the hood but those men are not the type of men I see day in and day out.


Those men you do not see on a day to day basis because you live in a predominately white area exist by the thousands - and they make babies with women 2 at the same time everyday and are gone before the babies head even enters the light of the world, and they are all to real for most black women in this country who are not as fortunate as YOU who lives high above the poverty line and far far away from the hood to the point where you have near zero connection to it.  Maybe with that in mind - this might not be a good thread for you to comment in.

I think you should accept in all fairness, that there are just some things you don't understand, and those things should be left to be discussed by those who do.  Why would some one want to talk about something they even said themselves they know nothing about?  That doesn't put them in the best position to have a good or useful point of view now does it.

serendipity79 Wrote:
But he's is in fact a good man and had my friend only paid attention to his exterior and not seen the good man behind the clothes, she probably would have missed out on this happy union she is enjoying now.


But at least he keeps a shirt on his body I'm sure.

serendipity79 Wrote:
In addition, I have many many many many friend who are dating clean cut, well dressed men who have degrees and appear to be financially stable and as someone stated, they are just as promiscuous as the men who stand on the street corner and sell drugs. In fact, they probably get away with more because they project what a good man is supposed to be (see the underlined) and women don't see the bad boy coming.


But at least they are not in and out of jail and have actual jobs instead of a street hustle - and that is a better start then what many women chose to start with!  You are talking promiscuity - hell, EVERYBODY IS CAPABLE OF THAT - all the way up to the president!  That has nothing to do with "corner thugs" - that is just people - both male and female across all social economic levels.  YES, cheating IS a bad thing to do - but that does not make you a bionafied "Bad Boy" - it means you did a very bad thing.  I am talking about a worthless, no job having, can't talk, ignant fool with a well groomed prison record that he brags about like it defines his manhood in the world.  I'm talk a fool with six kids by 26 from 4 stupid women.  I'm talking a man who is one strike away from a lifetime prison sentence if they find out what he just did yesterday!  We have a WAYYY different interpretation of a bad boy!

I'm talking about one like in the picture that you called "EXTREME" - that is why I posted that very picture (I did know what I was doing when I selected it you know) - they are out their and some 'Good" women chose to select and sleep with them when it is more then obvious that he is a worthless man - and not his choice of style - but him and his very core character.  What don't you get about the simple visual comparison?  A "Bad Boy" is much more  then a cheater - he is a volatile all around loser of a high order, and it is not hard at all to spot a bad boy who wears nice clothes, they are usually bullish, egotistical, arrogant and flashy - they just like to dress nice and are not street hoods and have educations - but a bad boy none the less.  And a woman is just as stupid for selecting one.

I specifically said "Conservative Nice Guys" - and well dressed guys was not ever my topic.  There is a very big difference in the two.  A well dressed man could be a stone pretty boy player and fancy ladies man - and we all know that is not good!  That kind of man is usually very aggressive and far far from conservative - but pure unchecked unbridled overinflated ego!  Or simply put - an "Asshole", who thinks he is God's gift to women - all of them.

But that is not the man I am calling "More conservative nice guy".

serendipity79 Wrote:
What we are simply saying is the same thing we learned in elementary school reading Aesop's fables, "Appearances are often deceiving.”


With that I agree, but a thug is a thug is a thug - and that is not hard to see or determine, and is very different then a style you personally don't fancy on an otherwise articulate man.  Thugs don't speak nor act well in most every situation of their lives.  But that doesn't stop them from making thousands of babies with thousands of dumb women a year.

Now do you get what I am talking about?  Please get it, I am getting tired now.  Maybe somebody else can make it more clear for the few who don't seem to be able to see this simple point.  Ra, Alvin, Kool, Enlightened, vcthree - somebody please help me with this bizarrely contest point!!!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 06-29-2009 06:24 PM

serendipity79 Wrote:

queenbastet Wrote:

I can't believe the ladies are hating on this thread.... why?  

It's not about judging a book by its cover, but that's what u have to go with when u first see him... at least learn the way a good man tends to carry hmself...

and then when u get to know him more, you will know if the interior matches the exterior.

You are posting two extremes. Of course, I wouldn't be interested in the types of photos you have just posted. Luckily, in my social circle those men don't even exist nor am I in search of a "good man".

I also don't think anyone debates the old addage: Clothes and manners do not make the man; but, when he is made, they can greatly improve his appearance.

What we are simply saying is the same thing we learned in elementary school reading Aesop's fables, "Appearances are often deceiving.”

I have a friend who married awhile ago. When I first met her fiancee I judged him harshly and based strictly on his appearance I immediately labeled him as a thug. He dressed in baggy clothes and long t-shirts. He wears skulls on his jacket and his flat brimmed hat tipped to the side. His "appearance" fit perfectly with my mental stereotype of what a thug looks like.

When I spoke to him he was very well-spoken people and I was actually astonished that he could form complex sentences without resorting to ebonics. No that I think about it, I am sad that I judged him but that is the fallacy of human nature. Of course we should pay attention to red flags. Again those pictures you posted were rather extreme in my view. I don't live in the hood so maybe that's normal for the hood but those men are not the type of men I see day in and day out.

At any rate this man I labeled is now a great father, a good provider and he still dresses that way. It drives me nuts but it's how he feels comfortable and maybe that is because that is what he grew up around. But he's is in fact a good man and had my friend only paid attention to his exterior and not seen the good man behind the clothes, she probably would have missed out on this happy union she is enjoying now. I'm not saying this is the rule, of course. I'm just saying each situation should be considered on its own merits and not on popular opinion.

In addition, I have many many many many friend who are dating clean cut, well dressed men who have degrees and appear to be financially stable and as someone stated, they are just as promiscuous as the men who stand on the street corner and sell drugs. In fact, they probably get away with more because they project what a good man is supposed to be (see the underlined) and women don't see the bad boy coming.


I agree.  And I do some volunteer work in the hood, and the most of the men there are not to that extreme either.  My own suburbs raised, college educated brother dressed in baggy pants until he was twenty or so.  He was trying to fit in with the white kids like the ones in our neighborhood, who are the biggest consumers of hip hop and all of that so called thug wear. And now he's a great father, husband, and provider as well.  I might question the fashion sense of a man who was dressed in baggy pants, but I wouldn't decide whether or not he was a "good" guy based on that.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - IslandRa - 06-29-2009 06:45 PM

Tim... I find it very difficult to believe these women are not getting it, but you are right.  It must be argue just to rile Tim day.  No one wants to exercise the abstract thought muscle for this one.  They just want to quickly point out the obvious anything else seems too much like work.

I suggest the thread gets dropped and locked.  It says more about people's need to prove something about themselves than anyone that has posted here really wants to see.

The commentary, that reading these posts narrate, is interesting, enlightening and cause for laughter.

The "look at me, I shall be right" crowd came out in full force on this one.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - koolkc107 - 06-29-2009 07:34 PM

I think the problems evident in this thread underscore one of the most important parts of the thesis Tim has advanced; namely that there are a lot of otherwise good black women out there making horrible choices as to what constitutes a potential mate. Tim's initial post was the car showroom equivalent of a saleman showing us two cars- a souped-up Honda (ala "The Fast and the Furious" movies) and a brand spanking new Bentley. Now it just might be that the Civic runs like a top while the Bentley is a rare lemon but the odds tell us which is the right choice. Unfortunately, and to Mr. Alexander's chagrin, you had folks wanting to take a ride on the wild side. I don't buy for one minute the "don't judge a book by it's cover" koolaid some are trying to peddle because the reality is if we saw these brothers approaching from down the street we would undoubtedly react to them getting nearer in somewhat different fashions (that we might find out later that the saggy baggy guy was a prominent spoken word artist while the clean cut guy was a serial killer is not the point of the original post). And I think folks understood full well that the pictures were but a very accurate and logical generalization but chose to post as if they didnt understand this fact. The question is why they chose to ignore what was simple supposition. The answer, as I alluded to earlier, is that agreeing with what Tim advanced would mean acknowledging to some small degree that what he has been saying about bad choices is correct. The truth is, far too many women who should know better are choosing that saggy pant wearing, underwear showing, gold teeth having brother. They want to ride in the souped-up Civic but don't want to admit that they know beforehand it is a bad choice. They say "let me kick the tires, see what's under the hood, see how fast/far it goes". Then when the thing spins out and crashes they want to act like they never saw the Bentley, and tell you all cars aint shyt!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - vcthree - 06-29-2009 07:39 PM

IslandRa Wrote:
Tim... I find it very difficult to believe these women are not getting it, but you are right.  It must be argue just to rile Tim day.  No one wants to exercise the abstract thought muscle for this one.  They just want to quickly point out the obvious anything else seems too much like work.

I suggest the thread gets dropped and locked.  It says more about people's need to prove something about themselves than anyone that has posted here really wants to see.

The commentary, that reading these posts narrate, is interesting, enlightening and cause for laughter.

The "look at me, I shall be right" crowd came out in full force on this one.


I'm with Elder Ra on this...I don't know what more to say that hasn't already been said here, and repeated several times.  But it is rather entertaining to see the escalation of response to a message that practically says, "Choose better mates; you know who they are.  And aren't."

You certainly don't judge a book by its cover, but you can--no, must--use discernment in choosing your mates, in order to ensure that you don't end up with a loser male or an angry woman.  The facts are that too many of us don't use that discernment, or don't comprehend what discernment is.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 07:39 PM

Ladies, pick a "good man"  to marry and have children with from Group A or Group B - better yet - pick one for your 18 year old daughter!

Group A - The Bad Boys:
A - 1.

A - 2.

A - 3.

A - 4.

A - 5

A - 6

A - 7

A - 8

A - 9

A - 10

Group B - The Nice Guys:
B - 1

B - 2

B - 3

B - 4

B - 5

B - 6

B - 7

B - 8

B - 9

B - 10

Notice the absence of high fashioned arrogant pretty boy ladies man dressed-up educated THUGS - they are not good picks for Group B.

It's simple ladies - Group B men are a better starting point then Group A men - THEN YOU HAVE TO CHECK THEM OUT - this is only a first look pre-qualifier prior to the in depth due diligence before deep commitment.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - koolkc107 - 06-29-2009 07:47 PM

I got 20 bucks says somebody's gonna have a damned good reason to pick from group A. Or they'll tell you both groups have dogs in 'em. Any takers?



Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Ladies, pick a "good man"  to marry and have children with from Group A or Group B - better yet - pick one for your 18 year old daughter!

Group A - The Bad Boys:
A - 1.

A - 2.

A - 3.

A - 4.

A - 5

A - 6

A - 7

A - 8

A - 9

A - 10

Group B - The Nice Guys:
B - 1

B - 2

B - 3

B - 4

B - 5

B - 6

B -7

B - 8

B - 9

B - 10

Notice the absence of high fashioned arrogant pretty boy ladies man dressed-up educated THUGS - they are not good picks for Group B.

It's simple ladies - Group B men are a better starting point then Group A men - THEN YOU HAVE TO CHECK THEM OUT - this is only a first look pre-qualifier prior to the in depth due diligence before deep commitment.




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - jdillion - 06-29-2009 07:52 PM

koolkc107 Wrote:
I think the problems evident in this thread underscore one of the most important parts of the thesis Tim has advanced; namely that there are a lot of otherwise good black women out there making horrible choices as to what constitutes a potential mate. Tim's initial post was the car showroom equivalent of a saleman showing us two cars- a souped-up Honda (ala "The Fast and the Furious" movies) and a brand spanking new Bentley. Now it just might be that the Civic runs like a top while the Bentley is a rare lemon but the odds tell us which is the right choice. Unfortunately, and to Mr. Alexander's chagrin, you had folks wanting to take a ride on the wild side. I don't buy for one minute the "don't judge a book by it's cover" koolaid some are trying to peddle because the reality is if we saw these brothers approaching from down the street we would undoubtedly react to them getting nearer in somewhat different fashions (that we might find out later that the saggy baggy guy was a prominent spoken word artist while the clean cut guy was a serial killer is not the point of the original post). And I think folks understood full well that the pictures were but a very accurate and logical generalization but chose to post as if they didnt understand this fact. The question is why they chose to ignore what was simple supposition. The answer, as I alluded to earlier, is that agreeing with what Tim advanced would mean acknowledging to some small degree that what he has been saying about bad choices is correct. The truth is, far too many women who should know better are choosing that saggy pant wearing, underwear showing, gold teeth having brother. They want to ride in the souped-up Civic but don't want to admit that they know beforehand it is a bad choice. They say "let me kick the tires, see what's under the hood, see how fast/far it goes". Then when the thing spins out and crashes they want to act like they never saw the Bentley, and tell you all cars aint shyt!


This has to be one of the best posts I have seen in awhile.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 07:54 PM

IslandRa Wrote:
Tim... I find it very difficult to believe these women are not getting it, but you are right.  It must be argue just to rile Tim day.  No one wants to exercise the abstract thought muscle for this one.  They just want to quickly point out the obvious anything else seems too much like work.

I suggest the thread gets dropped and locked.  It says more about people's need to prove something about themselves than anyone that has posted here really wants to see.

The commentary, that reading these posts narrate, is interesting, enlightening and cause for laughter.

The "look at me, I shall be right" crowd came out in full force on this one.


This is so ridiculous I am going to leave it open forever, and I hope some posters continue to make the same asinine postings because it helps beyond measure to make our points of showing how contrary even a "good woman" who knows better can be just to be disagreeable because a man said it.

Hell - I'm a MAN!  I should definitely be able to tell a woman which man is a "good man" - I KNOW MEN FROM BEING ONE!  Women sure don't!!!!  They prove over and over that they have no clue what a good man  is and now they want to argue with me and the other good men here instead of listening and saying "Thank you for sharing and please tell me more!"  How stupid is that!

Let 'em keep fight a reality any fool can see - even the guys in Group A would agree the Group B guys are better! Icon_lol

You ladies are trippin' on this one!  Yeah, all men are the same.  What ever.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 08:07 PM

jdillion Wrote:
This has to be one of the best posts I have seen in awhile.


Yeah, this one stays open - it has turned into an idiot bin of a sort!  I can't believe the argument I am getting in here!  And these are the same men they would sight as an example of thugs and no men in college - then you show them men in college and that still isn't good enough and they try to even say the bad boys "could" be the good ones - and the good ones actually "Could" be the bad ones in disguise!  What the hell kind of stupid logic is that!  Oh yeah - FEMALE LOGIC!!!  There is some reason they overlook the good men that are out their and keep getting the bad men!  I guess they just showed us in this thread.  They don't want to believe what they see - they want to believe what they don't see because it "could" be that way!  A man who looks like a nice guy is really trying to trick you, but the guy who looks like or "is" a bad guy "could" really be a nice guy deep down inside somewhere if you have the patience to look real deep, and are willing to overlook somethings - like jail stints, black eyes (on her), and other babies born the same month as hers.

Now I get it!  Hey guys - - THE LADIES ARE RIGHT (is that what they really want to hear here?)! - we are the ones who had it wrong all this time - guys in Group A are by far the better men!  The single ones of you should all turn into Group A guys then you can have your pick of the good women!  Boy it's great they shared the secret of the female male-selection process with us! Icon_xp


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - koolkc107 - 06-29-2009 08:14 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

jdillion Wrote:
This has to be one of the best posts I have seen in awhile.


Yeah, this one stays open - it has turned into an idiot bin of a sort!  I can't believe the argument I am getting in here!  And these are the same men they would sight as an example of thugs and no men in college - then you show them men in college and that still isn't good enough and they try to even say the bad boys "could" be the good ones - and the good ones actually "Could" be the bad ones in disguise!  What the hell kind of stupid logic is that!  Oh yeah - FEMALE LOGIC!!!  There is some reason they overlook the good men that are out their and keep getting the bad men!  I guess they just showed us in this thread.  They don't want to believe what they see - they want to believe what they don't see because it "could" be that way!  A man who looks like a nice guy is really trying to trick you, but the guy who looks like or "is" a bad guy "could" really be a nice guy deep down inside somewhere if you have the patience to look real deep, and are willing to overlook somethings - like jail stints, black eyes (on her), and other babies born the same month as hers.

Now I get it!  Hey guys - - THE LADIES ARE RIGHT (is that what they really want to hear here?)! - we are the ones who had it wrong all this time - guys in Group A are by far the better men!  The single ones of you should all turn into Group A guys then you can have your pick of the good women!  Boy it's great they shared the secret of the female male-selection process with us! Icon_xp


Ordering saggy jean, gold fronts, and fruit of the looms as we speak, my brotha! Viva E-bay!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 08:36 PM

It 'bout to be on fa ya naw Kool brah - you gon' hav the hook-up ma nikka!  Shoot me som picks from you cell SMS so I can pep 'em out you know wht I'm sayin' ma nikka!

This is really stupid.  But there is something really surreal and telling about it though.

Did you notice how quite they are now?  Could it be they are thinking?  Nawww.

Just looking for any kind of a comeback recovery from a body slam.  At best it will be trite and meaningless.  As men, we are definitely qualified to tell a woman the difference in a good man and a bad men - we know our own kind - just as they know theirs - we spend time in the proverbial "Locker Room" hearing these fools talk.  They really should listen to us - they can save a lot of bad failed marriages and relationships - as well as broken families and children.  Why don't they realize we are just trying to help them?  We don't need a man - we are men - this advice is for their misguided butts - and they won't even damn listen when it is directly for their benefit!  I know, they will start to scream "I don't need a man -I already have one!"  So why are they giving bad advice and sabotaging the other women who are seeking - especially when they already have men who look more like the Group B men anyway?  I just don't get it?

These are highly intelligent women and they know fully well the point I am trying to make no matter how much they play dumb and pretend they don't and I am crazy.

Give 'em logic guys - let's keep this one going full blast!  Leave 'em no out so others can see the process of true intelligent female logic at work in the TBM forum!  Give us more ladies!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 08:48 PM

This thread is turning into one of the dumbest stupidest arguments in this forums entire database of 62,000 postings!  New all time low level of "Don't get it" ladies - impressive work!

But now we know why the good guys can't get dates or women, and the bad guys can.  Thanks for the info - one gentleman here already has his "Golds" (gold teeth) on order!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 06-29-2009 09:00 PM

I am really wondering how Tim got all of the crap in his crazed rant out of women essentially saying that appearance isn't everything, that they won't decide on whether or not a man is "good" based on what he is wearing, and that the pictures posted are extreme examples. This thread turned into a stupid argument because it had a stupid premise.  Icon_lol  If you have to go to hotghettomess.com to make your point then maybe you need to rethink things.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - skii - 06-29-2009 09:10 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Ladies, pick a "good man"  to marry and have children with from Group A or Group B - better yet - pick one for your 18 year old daughter!

Group A - The Bad Boys:


A - 2.


Group B - The Nice Guys:
B - 7


Notice the absence of high fashioned arrogant pretty boy ladies man dressed-up educated THUGS - they are not good picks for Group B.

It's simple ladies - Group B men are a better starting point then Group A men - THEN YOU HAVE TO CHECK THEM OUT - this is only a first look pre-qualifier prior to the in depth due diligence before deep commitment.


Please note that some of the "bad" dudes in A-2 are dressed just like the "good" dudes in B-7.   Icon_neutral  Since men don't usually have their college registrations in hand or throw up gang signs when they approach a woman, then the point that the women are making is obvious.  YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER and how a man is dressed does not give many clues as to whether or not he is a good man.   Thank you for proving my point for me.  Icon_lolIcon_lolIcon_lol


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 09:22 PM

skii Wrote:
I am really wondering how Tim got all of the crap in his crazed rant out of women essentially saying that appearance isn't everything, that they won't decide on whether or not a man is "good" based on what he is wearing, and that the pictures posted are extreme examples. This thread turned into a stupid argument because it had a stupid premise.  Icon_lol  If you have to go to hotghettomess.com to make your point then maybe you need to rethink things.


Naw, it was just easier to find a collection of example photos at Hot Ghetto Mess of what is going on in the real world then to try to find them otherwise.  To be honest, those photos are really not that extreme.  

You can find plenty of men like those in Group A in every major city in America - and almost everyone of them has children by more then one stupid woman.  They will always have far more children then the Group B men.

It is not about what they are wearing it is about their character and what they are doing and stand for.  Did you see those losers?  It was all in their eyes!  Just like queen said in an earlier post.

Again, my post is not about "Style" or what they choose to wear - the Group B guys were not dressed up - it is about who they are and what they do or don't stand for as men of character, honor and responsibility and if you can make a 20+ year relationship work with them to raise your children without them going to jail before the kid is 2.

Told you the response would be trite and meaningless.  It was.  No point made here.

What they are wearing, what a joke - clothes are clothes - I am looking at the whole of them, something obviously women do not have the ability to do in most instances.  We are just trying to help you out a little bit - sorry for trying.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - koolkc107 - 06-29-2009 09:25 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
It 'bout to be on fa ya naw Kool brah - you gon' hav the hook-up ma nikka!  Shoot me som picks from you cell SMS so I can pep 'em out you know wht I'm sayin' ma nikka!

LMAO!!!!

This is really stupid.  But there is something really surreal and telling about it though.

Did you notice how quite they are now?  Could it be they are thinking?  Nawww.

Just looking for any kind of a comeback recovery from a body slam.  At best it will be trite and meaningless.  As men, we are definitely qualified to tell a woman the difference in a good man and a bad men - we know our own kind - just as they know theirs - we spend time in the proverbial "Locker Room" hearing these fools talk.  They really should listen to us - they can save a lot of bad failed marriages and relationships - as well as broken families and children.  Why don't they realize we are just trying to help them?  We don't need a man - we are men - this advice is for their misguided butts - and they won't even damn listen when it is directly for their benefit!  I know, they will start to scream "I don't need a man -I already have one!"  So why are they giving bad advice and sabotaging the other women who are seeking - especially when they already have men who look more like the Group B men anyway?  I just don't get it?

These are highly intelligent women and they know fully well the point I am trying to make no matter how much they play dumb and pretend they don't and I am crazy.

Give 'em logic guys - let's keep this one going full blast!  Leave 'em no out so others can see the process of true intelligent female logic at work in the TBM forum!  Give us more ladies!


Thank you for this reminder of what this forum is about first and foremost. True feminists should realize that the men of this forum are not their enemies. We want to break the vicious cycle of out-of-wedlock births and replace it with two parent families; we want stable marriages, not divorce rates that make a mockery of the idea. We prefer traditional roles in a union, but we acknowledge that whether it is a stay at home mom or a working one that the woman is an equal partner and helpmate, not an underling. All of these things and more have been plainly stated in this forum, yet some find it more comfortable to misrepresent the views of its founder, Elders, and esteemed female contributors. This is wrong. I just wish folks would recognize the difference between constructive criticism and subjective vitriol, between healthy disagreement and agenda fueled dissemination and opt for the better of those natures rather than the basest.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 06-29-2009 09:31 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Naw, it was just easier to find a collection of example photos of what is going on in the real world then to try to find them otherwise.  To be honest, those photos are really not that extreme.  

You can find plenty of men like those in Group A in every major city in America - and almost everyone of them has children by more then one stupid woman.  They will always have far more children then the Group B men.

It is not about what they are wearing it is about their character and what they are doing and stand for.  Did you see those losers?  It was all in their eyes!  Just like queen said in an earlier post.

Again, my post is not about "Style" or what they choose to wear - the Group B guys were not dressed up - it is about who they are and what they do or don't stand for as men of character, honor and responsibility and if you can make a 20+ year relationship work with them to raise your children without them going to jail before the kid is 2.

Told you the response would be trite and meaningless.  It was.  No point made here.

What they are wearing, what a joke - clothes are clothes - I am looking at the whole of them, something obviously women do not have the ability to do in most instances.  We are just trying to help you out a little bit - sorry for trying.


You are the one making trite and meaningless comments from the beginning of this thread to now.  

You say that you are looking at "the whole" of people based on pictures of strangers pulled off hotghettomess.com and google searches of black college students who are dressed the same as the dudes throwing up gang signs?  Ridiculous!  Icon_lol The look in their eyes?  I'm sure that the "look" is different when people are trying to look hard for their gang's my space page and when they are looking at a woman that they like.  Icon_lol   You were wrong, the ladies pointed it out and now you are trying and failing to save face after you foolishly posted pictures that perfectly disproved your point.   Icon_lol 


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 09:33 PM

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Ladies, pick a "good man"  to marry and have children with from Group A or Group B - better yet - pick one for your 18 year old daughter!

Group A - The Bad Boys:


A - 2.


Group B - The Nice Guys:
B - 7


Notice the absence of high fashioned arrogant pretty boy ladies man dressed-up educated THUGS - they are not good picks for Group B.

It's simple ladies - Group B men are a better starting point then Group A men - THEN YOU HAVE TO CHECK THEM OUT - this is only a first look pre-qualifier prior to the in depth due diligence before deep commitment.


Please note that some of the "bad" dudes in A-2 are dressed just like the "good" dudes in B-7.   Icon_neutral  Since men don't usually have their college registrations in hand or throw up gang signs when they approach a woman, then the point that the women are making is obvious.  YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER and how a man is dressed does not give many clues as to whether or not he is a good man.   Thank you for proving my point for me.  Icon_lolIcon_lolIcon_lol


I proved nothing for you - just look at their eyes - their hands - what's in their mouths - and their hair - breads and wave caps!  Group A - LOSERS!  Group B - Young Men dressed YOUNG - and they are at school!  What school do you think the Group A guys go to?

You are the one who is always pushing education and calling me stupid because I did not finish high school - what, now college men aren't good enough for you either?  Why should they work to get an education if you are going to sit back and still say they are no different?  What an insult and a joke!  Are you even real?  Do you know what a seething contradiction you are right now?  You have basically ruled out every man on the planet with your irrational rational!

Think lady think!  What side of the fence are you on!  What do you want to communicate!  Do you even know  - or are you just typing words because you know how to spell?

Oops... You tricked me... I said I wasn't going to answer you or talk to you.  You got me, I lost that round of don't speak to the invisible - but that one was worth it!

OK everybody - this is so dumb you have a pass from me to talk to her in this thread - this is rich!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - skii - 06-29-2009 09:44 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Ladies, pick a "good man"  to marry and have children with from Group A or Group B - better yet - pick one for your 18 year old daughter!

Group A - The Bad Boys:


A - 2.


Group B - The Nice Guys:
B - 7


Notice the absence of high fashioned arrogant pretty boy ladies man dressed-up educated THUGS - they are not good picks for Group B.

It's simple ladies - Group B men are a better starting point then Group A men - THEN YOU HAVE TO CHECK THEM OUT - this is only a first look pre-qualifier prior to the in depth due diligence before deep commitment.


Please note that some of the "bad" dudes in A-2 are dressed just like the "good" dudes in B-7.   Icon_neutral  Since men don't usually have their college registrations in hand or throw up gang signs when they approach a woman, then the point that the women are making is obvious.  YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER and how a man is dressed does not give many clues as to whether or not he is a good man.   Thank you for proving my point for me.  Icon_lolIcon_lolIcon_lol


I proved nothing for you - just look at their eyes - their hands - what's in their mouths - and their hair - breads and wave caps!  Group A - LOSERS!  Group B - Young Men dressed YOUNG - and they are at school!  What school do you think the Group A guys go to?

The guy on the far right in the first picture that I posted and dude in the second pic could almost be the same person on a different day.  Icon_lol  If they take off the wave caps and smile a bit and you'd probably put them in with the good guys. Icon_lol

Quote:

You are the one who is always pushing education and calling me stupid because I did not finish high school - what, now college men aren't good enough for you either?  Why should they work to get an education if you are going to sit back and still say they are no different?  What an insult and a joke!  Are you even real?  Do you know what a seething contradiction you are right now?  You have basically ruled out every man on the planet with your irrational rational!


Think lady think!  What side of the fence are you on!  What do you want to communicate!  Do you even know  - or are you just typing words because you know how to spell?

Oops... You tricked me... I said I wasn't going to answer you or talk to you.  You got me, I lost that round of don't speak to the invisible - but that one was worth it!

OK everybody - this is so dumb you have a pass from me to talk to her in this thread - this is rich!



Speaking of irrational, Tim - I never said that there was no difference between college educated men and high school drop out/thug types.  I said that SOMETIMES THEY LOOK THE SAME AND THAT YOUR PICTURES PROVED IT. In other words, you can't judge a book by it's cover. Icon_lol  Stop with the straw man arguments and try responding to what is actually being said.  And you are telling others that they may respond to me now, for the same reason that you ignore me.  It's because once again you've lost a logic based debate and you need back up.  Typical Tim.  Icon_lol


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 09:46 PM

skii Wrote:
You are the one making trite and meaningless comments from the beginning of this thread to now.  

You say that you are looking at "the whole" of people based on pictures of strangers pulled off hotghettomess.com and google searches of black college students who are dressed the same as the dudes throwing up gang signs?  Ridiculous!  Icon_lol The look in their eyes?  I'm sure that the "look" is different when people are trying to look hard for their gang's my space page and when they are looking at a woman that they like.  Icon_lol   You were wrong, the ladies pointed it out and now you are trying and failing to save face after you foolishly posted pictures that perfectly disproved your point.   Icon_lol 


What don't you get lady - THE PROBLEM IS THE GANG SIGNS!!!!!  Duh!

One group is from hot ghetto mess, as you noted - and the other are young black men in college - as you said they should be - and you can't see a difference because all you are capable of seeing is clothing?  No wonder women pick such poor men - they see clothes as the same and are incapable of any other deductions of character - like men in thought and conversation vs men just standing throwing gang signs at the camera.  There are many more dynamics at play then today's contemporary clothing styles.  How about some are in school for one.

Nope checkmate - you just proved my points with your lake of one and attempts to skew my point that I so clearly made - it is not about the clothing - but the character.

Look at the pictures again.

Give her some guys before I call 'silence' on her again.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 09:54 PM

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Ladies, pick a "good man"  to marry and have children with from Group A or Group B - better yet - pick one for your 18 year old daughter!

Group A - The Bad Boys:


A - 2.


Group B - The Nice Guys:
B - 7


Notice the absence of high fashioned arrogant pretty boy ladies man dressed-up educated THUGS - they are not good picks for Group B.

It's simple ladies - Group B men are a better starting point then Group A men - THEN YOU HAVE TO CHECK THEM OUT - this is only a first look pre-qualifier prior to the in depth due diligence before deep commitment.


Please note that some of the "bad" dudes in A-2 are dressed just like the "good" dudes in B-7.   Icon_neutral  Since men don't usually have their college registrations in hand or throw up gang signs when they approach a woman, then the point that the women are making is obvious.  YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER and how a man is dressed does not give many clues as to whether or not he is a good man.   Thank you for proving my point for me.  Icon_lolIcon_lolIcon_lol


I proved nothing for you - just look at their eyes - their hands - what's in their mouths - and their hair - breads and wave caps!  Group A - LOSERS!  Group B - Young Men dressed YOUNG - and they are at school!  What school do you think the Group A guys go to?

The guy on the far right in the first picture that I posted and dude in the second pic could almost be the same person on a different day.  Icon_lol  If they take off the wave caps and smile a bit and you'd probably put them in with the good guys. Icon_lol

Quote:

You are the one who is always pushing education and calling me stupid because I did not finish high school - what, now college men aren't good enough for you either?  Why should they work to get an education if you are going to sit back and still say they are no different?  What an insult and a joke!  Are you even real?  Do you know what a seething contradiction you are right now?  You have basically ruled out every man on the planet with your irrational rational!


Think lady think!  What side of the fence are you on!  What do you want to communicate!  Do you even know  - or are you just typing words because you know how to spell?

Oops... You tricked me... I said I wasn't going to answer you or talk to you.  You got me, I lost that round of don't speak to the invisible - but that one was worth it!

OK everybody - this is so dumb you have a pass from me to talk to her in this thread - this is rich!



Speaking of irrational, Tim - I never said that there was no difference between college educated men and high school drop out/thug types.  I said that SOMETIMES THEY LOOK THE SAME AND THAT YOUR PICTURES PROVED IT. In other words, you can't judge a book by it's cover. Icon_lol  Stop with the straw man arguments and try responding to what is actually being said.  And you are telling others that they may respond to me now, for the same reason that you ignore me.  It's because once again you've lost a logic based debate and you need back up.  Typical Tim.  Icon_lol


All you have to do is talk to them for a moment - and you will quickly see a difference.  And no, they are not the same - the Group A guy has a ghetto wrist tattoo - the Group B guy does not!  And the Group B guy has something that is invisible to most women in his eyes - intelligence - but I do expect you to not be able to see it, so don't worry if you can't.  If you can't see the difference in his face - you are blind.  Oh, and he's throwing up a stupid gang sign - while the other one is in conversation at school growing and learning.

Naw, I really don't need any help with you - I just think it will be funny to watch other male and female posters unload on you right now.  This will be really good... Open the flood gates on her everybody - there should be lots to say here.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - skii - 06-29-2009 09:57 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

skii Wrote:
You are the one making trite and meaningless comments from the beginning of this thread to now.  

You say that you are looking at "the whole" of people based on pictures of strangers pulled off hotghettomess.com and google searches of black college students who are dressed the same as the dudes throwing up gang signs?  Ridiculous!  Icon_lol The look in their eyes?  I'm sure that the "look" is different when people are trying to look hard for their gang's my space page and when they are looking at a woman that they like.  Icon_lol   You were wrong, the ladies pointed it out and now you are trying and failing to save face after you foolishly posted pictures that perfectly disproved your point.   Icon_lol 


What don't you get lady - THE PROBLEM IS THE GANG SIGNS!!!!!  Duh!

One group is from hot ghetto mess, as you noted - and the other are young black men in college - as you said they should be - and you can't see a difference because all you are capable of seeing is clothing?  No wonder women pick such poor men - they see clothes as the same and are incapable of any other deductions of character - like men in thought and conversation vs men just standing throwing gang signs at the camera.  There are many more dynamics at play then today's contemporary clothing styles.  How about some are in school for one.

Nope checkmate - you just proved my points with your lake of one and attempts to skew my point that I so clearly made - it is not about the clothing - but the character.

Look at the pictures again.

Give her some guys before I call 'silence' on her again.


Dude please.  You're getting pathetic now.  I stated earlier that "Since men don't usually have their college registrations in hand or throw up gang signs when they approach a woman, then the point that the women are making is obvious. " Most women don't get  snap shots of a man before hand so that they can decide whether or not he's a good guy. They have to get to know him. You yourself have said that women shouldn't even ask whether or not a man has been to college on the first date because it doesn't matter. So now we have two identical men, one thug and one college student and according to you women shouldn't even ask to see which is which. By the way, most thugs are also high school drop outs. Icon_lolIcon_lol Bottom line, your good guy vs bad guy guide is illogical and pretty much worthless, and you are pissed that I proved that. With pictures that YOU posted.  Icon_lol


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 10:04 PM

skii Wrote:
Dude please.  You're getting pathetic now.  I stated earlier that "Since men don't usually have their college registrations in hand or throw up gang signs when they approach a woman, then the point that the women are making is obvious. " Most women don't get  snap shots of a man before hand so that they can decide whether or not he's a good guy. They have to get to know him. You yourself have said that women shouldn't even ask whether or not a man has been to college on the first date because it doesn't matter. So now we have two identical men, one thug and one college student and according to you women shouldn't even ask to see which is which. By the way, most thugs are also high school drop outs. Icon_lolIcon_lol Bottom line, your good guy vs bad guy guide is illogical and pretty much worthless, and you are pissed that I proved that. With pictures that YOU posted.  Icon_lol


All you have to do is talk to them for a moment and the differences will surface quick.  And it depends on where you meet them.  Did you meet them on the corner or a club - or at school where you should have been looking for a educated peer.

Whatever.  Your trying to "get me" so to speak, is very childish and juvenile at best.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - skii - 06-29-2009 10:07 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Ladies, pick a "good man"  to marry and have children with from Group A or Group B - better yet - pick one for your 18 year old daughter!

Group A - The Bad Boys:


A - 2.


Group B - The Nice Guys:
B - 7


Notice the absence of high fashioned arrogant pretty boy ladies man dressed-up educated THUGS - they are not good picks for Group B.

It's simple ladies - Group B men are a better starting point then Group A men - THEN YOU HAVE TO CHECK THEM OUT - this is only a first look pre-qualifier prior to the in depth due diligence before deep commitment.


Please note that some of the "bad" dudes in A-2 are dressed just like the "good" dudes in B-7.   Icon_neutral  Since men don't usually have their college registrations in hand or throw up gang signs when they approach a woman, then the point that the women are making is obvious.  YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER and how a man is dressed does not give many clues as to whether or not he is a good man.   Thank you for proving my point for me.  Icon_lolIcon_lolIcon_lol


I proved nothing for you - just look at their eyes - their hands - what's in their mouths - and their hair - breads and wave caps!  Group A - LOSERS!  Group B - Young Men dressed YOUNG - and they are at school!  What school do you think the Group A guys go to?

The guy on the far right in the first picture that I posted and dude in the second pic could almost be the same person on a different day.  Icon_lol  If they take off the wave caps and smile a bit and you'd probably put them in with the good guys. Icon_lol

Quote:

You are the one who is always pushing education and calling me stupid because I did not finish high school - what, now college men aren't good enough for you either?  Why should they work to get an education if you are going to sit back and still say they are no different?  What an insult and a joke!  Are you even real?  Do you know what a seething contradiction you are right now?  You have basically ruled out every man on the planet with your irrational rational!


Think lady think!  What side of the fence are you on!  What do you want to communicate!  Do you even know  - or are you just typing words because you know how to spell?

Oops... You tricked me... I said I wasn't going to answer you or talk to you.  You got me, I lost that round of don't speak to the invisible - but that one was worth it!

OK everybody - this is so dumb you have a pass from me to talk to her in this thread - this is rich!



Speaking of irrational, Tim - I never said that there was no difference between college educated men and high school drop out/thug types.  I said that SOMETIMES THEY LOOK THE SAME AND THAT YOUR PICTURES PROVED IT. In other words, you can't judge a book by it's cover. Icon_lol  Stop with the straw man arguments and try responding to what is actually being said.  And you are telling others that they may respond to me now, for the same reason that you ignore me.  It's because once again you've lost a logic based debate and you need back up.  Typical Tim.  Icon_lol


All you have to do is talk to them for a moment - and you will quickly see a difference.  And no, they are not the same - the Group A guy has a ghetto wrist tattoo - the Group B guy does not!  And the Group B guy has something that is invisible to most women in his eyes - intelligence - but I do expect you to not be able to see it, so don't worry if you can't.  If you can't see the difference in his face - you are blind.  Oh, and he's throwing up a stupid gang sign - while the other one is in conversation at school growing and learning.

Naw, I really don't need any help with you - I just think it will be funny to watch other male and female posters unload on you right now.  This will be really good... Open the flood gates on her everybody - there should be lots to say here.


Here you go with your big ego making you look foolish again Tim.  You could have admitted that you were wrong, 8 pages ago, but now you are here claiming that the men in group B have intelligence in their eyes when you can't even see the eyes of one of the guys, and he is dressed JUST LIKE THE GUYS IN GROUP A.  This is hilarious. And there you go calling for backup again. *Help me guys I am losing an argument* Icon_lol I doubt that anyone is dumb enough to come back you up on this stupidity, but it will be funny if someone does.  Maybe you need to send out another email.  Icon_lol


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 10:13 PM

*Yawn*  

I was talking about the same one guy on the right in Group B, relative to the one guy on the right in Group A - the same to guys that YOU singled out as references.  Do you really think I can not see that I can not see the other guys eyes in the Group B photo?  Are you serious?


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - skii - 06-29-2009 10:14 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

skii Wrote:
Dude please.  You're getting pathetic now.  I stated earlier that "Since men don't usually have their college registrations in hand or throw up gang signs when they approach a woman, then the point that the women are making is obvious. " Most women don't get  snap shots of a man before hand so that they can decide whether or not he's a good guy. They have to get to know him. You yourself have said that women shouldn't even ask whether or not a man has been to college on the first date because it doesn't matter. So now we have two identical men, one thug and one college student and according to you women shouldn't even ask to see which is which. By the way, most thugs are also high school drop outs. Icon_lolIcon_lol Bottom line, your good guy vs bad guy guide is illogical and pretty much worthless, and you are pissed that I proved that. With pictures that YOU posted.  Icon_lol


All you have to do is talk to them for a moment and the differences will surface quick.  And it depends on where you meet them.  Did you meet them on the corner or a club - or at school where you should have been looking for a educated peer.

Whatever.  Your trying to "get me" so to speak, is very childish and juvenile at best.


OK - so now you are saying that only college educated men are good men?  This is a 180 from your original position of "it doesn't matter." A very small percentage of black men have a college education, so chances are that most black women, college educated or not, will meet their man somewhere other than college.  And women are approached by men in places other than the club.  I don't have to try and "get" you.  You do a pretty good job of "getting" yourself.  Especially if you post more than 10 words at a time.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - vcthree - 06-29-2009 10:15 PM

And I just want to point out the pure hypocrisy in the mantra of "You can't judge a book by it's cover", because the same people who trot that out in this case are the very same people who judge all sorts of books by their covers all the time.  I find it odd in this case that, given the choice between keeping the decent-looking guy or the thugs, some are trying to find every possible loophole to keep the thugs in the picture.  Some even advocate learning from thugs and perpetrating thuggish behaviors.  That I don't understand at all.

One thing is for certain: I am not about to put on a skull cap and walk down the street with parachute jeans that hang three quarters off my hindparts, with nothing on but a white t-shirt so I can perpetuate some image to fit in with what a few girls on the block think is "manly".

Again, it all comes down to discernment, and people need to learn what that means, and how to do it.  Or, rather, substance vs. style would be a better fit here.  And it seems that more people are concerned with style rather than substance; they are buying the book based on the cover, without bothering to have read one page to see if the story makes any sense.  And therein lies the hypocrisy of the statement.  You absolutely can judge a book by it's cover; we've seen you do it--and fail--time after time.  So when someone presents you with an argument for substance over style, why argue on behalf of style, if you can't judge a book by it's cover?


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 06-29-2009 10:22 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
*Yawn*  

I was talking about the same one guy on the right in Group B, relative to the one guy on the right in Group A - the same to guys that YOU singled out as references.  Do you really think I can not see that I can not see the other guys eyes in the Group B photo?  Are you serious?


And as I said earlier the expression that someone is making, and yes, even whether or not they have an intelligent look in their eyes can depend largely on what they are doing when you take their picture.  For example, you have posted a picture of yourself where you don't look stupid, but anyone reading this thread can see that you must be.  This man: has an IQ of 200 and is brilliant in many ways.  But he looks dumb as hell in this shot.  So to wrap this up.  You were wrong, the women pointed it out, the men backed you up because they always do, and you will never admit it.  Icon_lol


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - skii - 06-29-2009 10:24 PM

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Ladies, pick a "good man"  to marry and have children with from Group A or Group B - better yet - pick one for your 18 year old daughter!

Group A - The Bad Boys:


A - 2.


Group B - The Nice Guys:
B - 7


Notice the absence of high fashioned arrogant pretty boy ladies man dressed-up educated THUGS - they are not good picks for Group B.

It's simple ladies - Group B men are a better starting point then Group A men - THEN YOU HAVE TO CHECK THEM OUT - this is only a first look pre-qualifier prior to the in depth due diligence before deep commitment.


Please note that some of the "bad" dudes in A-2 are dressed just like the "good" dudes in B-7.   Icon_neutral  Since men don't usually have their college registrations in hand or throw up gang signs when they approach a woman, then the point that the women are making is obvious.  YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER and how a man is dressed does not give many clues as to whether or not he is a good man.   Thank you for proving my point for me.  Icon_lolIcon_lolIcon_lol




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 10:24 PM

No, I said they are better then thugs, and not every man who is not college educated is a thug.  And most of the time you are not in college past your early 20's - so you still have to meet men somewhere - just try not to make it a club or a street corner.

Church or work and other high functioning social events are better.  Hiking, book clubs - that's a good one, and mutual friends in a social circle are good as well - then you have character references.

Lady, I am her trying to help people - you are just playing "gotcha" word games.

Don' t you have a husband to talk to so you can get off of the internet?  He must not like you very much because you are always here - and you should really spend more time with your kids.  I'm just a little worried about their development since you spend so much time on my forum instead with them on a daily basis.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - IslandRa - 06-29-2009 10:25 PM

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

skii Wrote:
You are the one making trite and meaningless comments from the beginning of this thread to now.  

You say that you are looking at "the whole" of people based on pictures of strangers pulled off hotghettomess.com and google searches of black college students who are dressed the same as the dudes throwing up gang signs?  Ridiculous!  Icon_lol The look in their eyes?  I'm sure that the "look" is different when people are trying to look hard for their gang's my space page and when they are looking at a woman that they like.  Icon_lol   You were wrong, the ladies pointed it out and now you are trying and failing to save face after you foolishly posted pictures that perfectly disproved your point.   Icon_lol 


What don't you get lady - THE PROBLEM IS THE GANG SIGNS!!!!!  Duh!

One group is from hot ghetto mess, as you noted - and the other are young black men in college - as you said they should be - and you can't see a difference because all you are capable of seeing is clothing?  No wonder women pick such poor men - they see clothes as the same and are incapable of any other deductions of character - like men in thought and conversation vs men just standing throwing gang signs at the camera.  There are many more dynamics at play then today's contemporary clothing styles.  How about some are in school for one.

Nope checkmate - you just proved my points with your lake of one and attempts to skew my point that I so clearly made - it is not about the clothing - but the character.

Look at the pictures again.

Give her some guys before I call 'silence' on her again.


Dude please.  You're getting pathetic now.  I stated earlier that "Since men don't usually have their college registrations in hand or throw up gang signs when they approach a woman, then the point that the women are making is obvious. " Most women don't get  snap shots of a man before hand so that they can decide whether or not he's a good guy. They have to get to know him. You yourself have said that women shouldn't even ask whether or not a man has been to college on the first date because it doesn't matter. So now we have two identical men, one thug and one college student and according to you women shouldn't even ask to see which is which. By the way, most thugs are also high school drop outs. Icon_lolIcon_lol Bottom line, your good guy vs bad guy guide is illogical and pretty much worthless, and you are pissed that I proved that. With pictures that YOU posted.  Icon_lol



I will type this slowly so you can catch on.  More than the gang signs and the clothes, look at the eyes.  Look closely at the eyes.  One guy has a dull blankness in his and the other has a spark of wonder.  The cliche is a cliche because it works.  The eyes are the window to the soul.

The eyes are an obvious giveaway to both men.   This will tell you if the dude is a good start.  This should be your FIRST impression.

It's always my first impression.  A woman may be as fine as a bottle of 1964 chateu Lefite, but if she is as blank as a stack of bricks, I am going to say next.

Can you not see the difference here?  I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are in pure spite mode and so chose to ignore the obvious, but here is your chance to prove yourself smart.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - IslandRa - 06-29-2009 10:31 PM

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
*Yawn*  

I was talking about the same one guy on the right in Group B, relative to the one guy on the right in Group A - the same to guys that YOU singled out as references.  Do you really think I can not see that I can not see the other guys eyes in the Group B photo?  Are you serious?


And as I said earlier the expression that someone is making, and yes, even whether or not they have an intelligent look in their eyes can depend largely on what they are doing when you take their picture.  For example, you have posted a picture of yourself where you don't look stupid, but anyone reading this thread can see that you must be.  This man: has an IQ of 200 and is brilliant in many ways.  But he looks dumb as hell in this shot.  So to wrap this up.  You were wrong, the women pointed it out, the men backed you up because they always do, and you will never admit it.  Icon_lol



This guy has a compassionate or worried look in his eyes.  This means he cares about something.  This man does not have blank eyes.

The other dudes have the look of death.  Blank, empty, souless.  Look again, you are almost there.  We will clue you in yet.  There is promise in this wone eyes thank.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 10:32 PM

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
*Yawn*  

I was talking about the same one guy on the right in Group B, relative to the one guy on the right in Group A - the same to guys that YOU singled out as references.  Do you really think I can not see that I can not see the other guys eyes in the Group B photo?  Are you serious?


And as I said earlier the expression that someone is making, and yes, even whether or not they have an intelligent look in their eyes can depend largely on what they are doing when you take their picture.  For example, you have posted a picture of yourself where you don't look stupid, but anyone reading this thread can see that you must be.  This man: has an IQ of 200 and is brilliant in many ways.  But he looks dumb as hell in this shot.  So to wrap this up.  You were wrong, the women pointed it out, the men backed you up because they always do, and you will never admit it.  Icon_lol


You obviously don't know how to read faces.  He looks like he is talking, and he looks very intelligent in his bright eyes - besides... We don't go around having relationships with still photographs - but real people in a real world so we get the opportunity to witness a range of expressions and hear real words and have conversations to draw our determinations about the character.

When you go shopping first you look for the garment that catches your eye visually - then you try it on to see if it fits and looks good on you, same thing when you see a man - you see them first - then you check the fit.  Look in Group B - not the thug or pretty boy bin.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 10:40 PM

Back got.  Thank you guys. Icon_up (vcthree and Ra)

See, black men do work together for the good. Icon_cool


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - skii - 06-29-2009 10:41 PM

vcthree Wrote:
And I just want to point out the pure hypocrisy in the mantra of "You can't judge a book by it's cover", because the same people who trot that out in this case are the very same people who judge all sorts of books by their covers all the time.  I find it odd in this case that, given the choice between keeping the decent-looking guy or the thugs, some are trying to find every possible loophole to keep the thugs in the picture.  Some even advocate learning from thugs and perpetrating thuggish behaviors.  That I don't understand at all.

Actually you've accused me a judging a book by it's cover, and I made it clear to you that I'd read the book, found it lacking, and explained why. Icon_lol I make every effort to rule out thuggish men, but I don't use appearance to do it.  I use actions.  Because even though you look cross eyed in your avatar I know that you can see that bad guys and good guys often look alike and that you have to delve deeper.  This is all that the women in the thread were saying to you.  

Quote:
One thing is for certain: I am not about to put on a skull cap and walk down the street with parachute jeans that hang three quarters off my hindparts, with nothing on but a white t-shirt so I can perpetuate some image to fit in with what a few girls on the block think is "manly".

No one asked you to. Icon_neutral

Quote:

Again, it all comes down to discernment, and people need to learn what that means, and how to do it.  Or, rather, substance vs. style would be a better fit here.  And it seems that more people are concerned with style rather than substance; they are buying the book based on the cover, without bothering to have read one page to see if the story makes any sense.  And therein lies the hypocrisy of the statement.  You absolutely can judge a book by it's cover; we've seen you do it--and fail--time after time.  So when someone presents you with an argument for substance over style, why argue on behalf of style, if you can't judge a book by it's cover?


I think that you need to rewrite this argument and try again.  Have I judged the book by it's cover or have I failed to to judge the book by it's cover?  Have you ever read a book? One without pictures? Icon_lol You cannot tell if a man is a good man based on how he looks. Especially if he isn't waving his college transcript or gang signs when you meet him.  This is what the women have been saying the whole time, and it was made even more obvious by the pictures that Tim posted.  You can try to skirt the main issue if you want to but the fact is that the premise of this thread was faulty.  Who judged or failed to judge what book when has nothing to do that with that.  Icon_lol


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 06-29-2009 10:50 PM

IslandRa Wrote:

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
*Yawn*  

I was talking about the same one guy on the right in Group B, relative to the one guy on the right in Group A - the same to guys that YOU singled out as references.  Do you really think I can not see that I can not see the other guys eyes in the Group B photo?  Are you serious?


And as I said earlier the expression that someone is making, and yes, even whether or not they have an intelligent look in their eyes can depend largely on what they are doing when you take their picture.  For example, you have posted a picture of yourself where you don't look stupid, but anyone reading this thread can see that you must be.  This man: has an IQ of 200 and is brilliant in many ways.  But he looks dumb as hell in this shot.  So to wrap this up.  You were wrong, the women pointed it out, the men backed you up because they always do, and you will never admit it.  Icon_lol



This guy has a compassionate or worried look in his eyes.  This means he cares about something.  This man does not have blank eyes.

The other dudes have the look of death.  Blank, empty, souless.  Look again, you are almost there.  We will clue you in yet.  There is promise in this wone eyes thank.


You think that he's compassionate? He wants to genetically engineer the human race and only let those who deems fit breed and survive.  Kind of like Hitler.  Icon_neutral

Quote:
                                                                 
Chris Langan:

    People who wanted to have children would apply to make sure they have no diseases. Why do we have to do it through genetic engineering? Well, we have to let only the fit breed…. Freedom is not necessarily a right. It is a privilege that you have to earn. A lot of people abuse their freedom and that is something that people have to be trained not to do.

Interviewer:

    But who? Who does this training?

Chris Langan:

    Well, I’d be perfectly willing to do it myself. Just put me in charge.”


So basically, appearances, especially those in a photograph can be deceiving, and a "good" man or a "bad" man doesn't always have a certain look.  And I have seen stone cold killers happily playing with their kids at the park, and they don't look like what they are.  You simply cannot determine if a man is good or bad, based on appearance.  Yet Tim asserted that you can.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 10:52 PM

skii Wrote:
bad guys and good guys often look alike and that you have to delve deeper.  This is all that the women in the thread were saying to you.  


That's all the guys have been saying the whole time.  We just said start look in the B Group men and skip the A Group thugs and other assorted losers who you will not see a picture of in the real world anyway - just talk to the dumbass for 3 minutes then walk away and go home and shower off the experience.

I'm on your side ladies - hugs and loser men suck - I am trying to help guide you to the good ones - do you want to hear us men - or do you want to listen to this obviously cracked woman?  Do you notice she is the only one (as usual) fighting the whole forum alone?

NOTE: I hope the visitors and new posters here can see her destructive pattern of posting - and please disregard her accordingly.  We have tried banning her but we can not make her go and stay away - she has posted under 15 screen names.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - IslandRa - 06-29-2009 10:58 PM

skii Wrote:

IslandRa Wrote:

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
*Yawn*  

I was talking about the same one guy on the right in Group B, relative to the one guy on the right in Group A - the same to guys that YOU singled out as references.  Do you really think I can not see that I can not see the other guys eyes in the Group B photo?  Are you serious?


And as I said earlier the expression that someone is making, and yes, even whether or not they have an intelligent look in their eyes can depend largely on what they are doing when you take their picture.  For example, you have posted a picture of yourself where you don't look stupid, but anyone reading this thread can see that you must be.  This man: has an IQ of 200 and is brilliant in many ways.  But he looks dumb as hell in this shot.  So to wrap this up.  You were wrong, the women pointed it out, the men backed you up because they always do, and you will never admit it.  Icon_lol



This guy has a compassionate or worried look in his eyes.  This means he cares about something.  This man does not have blank eyes.

The other dudes have the look of death.  Blank, empty, souless.  Look again, you are almost there.  We will clue you in yet.  There is promise in this wone eyes thank.


You think that he's compassionate? He wants to genetically engineer the human race and only let those who deems fit breed and survive.  Kind of like Hitler.  Icon_neutral

Quote:
                                                                 
Chris Langan:

    People who wanted to have children would apply to make sure they have no diseases. Why do we have to do it through genetic engineering? Well, we have to let only the fit breed…. Freedom is not necessarily a right. It is a privilege that you have to earn. A lot of people abuse their freedom and that is something that people have to be trained not to do.

Interviewer:

    But who? Who does this training?

Chris Langan:

    Well, I’d be perfectly willing to do it myself. Just put me in charge.”


So basically, appearances, especially those in a photograph can be deceiving, and a "good" man or a "bad" man doesn't always have a certain look.  And I have seen stone cold killers happily playing with their kids at the park, and they don't look like what they are.  You simply cannot determine if a man is good or bad, based on appearance.  Yet Tim asserted that you can.




Ok.. well we did qualify it by saying this is a start but you must get to know the guy afterwards. See... you conveniently ignore some things in order to argue other things.  Take our arguement as a whole then apply the principle.  Once you can sucessfully do that then point out the holes in it.

OK he is a Hitler type.  I would still shake his hand and talk to him until he told me what his philosophy is.  Then I would tell him he's nuts and meet other people.  Simple.  I bet hes more interesting than the thugs above.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - queenbastet - 06-29-2009 11:05 PM

You are right Ra.  The eyes say it all.  
some people are just not adept enough to read a person via their eyes and for them they will have to a) judge on looks alone   b) be too scared to ever commit because they can't judge a person  or  c) jump from one bad situation to the next because they can't judge.
AND MAY I BE CLEAR... THIS IS ONLY TO ASSIST WITH FIRST IMPRESSION JUDGEMENTS... you should always take ur time observing behaviors to be sure ur first impression was accurate.
but anyone who's looking for someone knows, there are lots of opportunities open, but few worthwhile... this is just to help sort them out at the first look.

But if u can PRACTICE judging persons based on their eyes, it's definitely the best method.

how do u practice? Test it out on people you already know.  Study the eyes of those u know have high moral standards and study the eyes of those you know have low standards... and note the differences.

It will become clear to you what Ra is explaining.

The high standards person:
will have a warmth and an openness.  You will feel a sense of comfort (not of butterflies or lust or dizzying sense of mystery)  u will feel a comfort and a warmth.

The low standards person:  
is the one that leaves u with a nervous feeling, of "i just don't know if i can trust but oooh wee I hope i can cause they make me sweat"  ORRRRR they may give u a feeling of distance and disconnectedness... vagueness or an uncaring sense in the eyes.  

so try it out on people u already know.  and see what u find.

IslandRa Wrote:

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

skii Wrote:



I will type this slowly so you can catch on.  More than the gang signs and the clothes, look at the eyes.  Look closely at the eyes.  One guy has a dull blankness in his and the other has a spark of wonder.  The cliche is a cliche because it works.  The eyes are the window to the soul.

The eyes are an obvious giveaway to both men.   This will tell you if the dude is a good start.  This should be your FIRST impression.

It's always my first impression.  A woman may be as fine as a bottle of 1964 chateu Lefite, but if she is as blank as a stack of bricks, I am going to say next.

Can you not see the difference here?  I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are in pure spite mode and so chose to ignore the obvious, but here is your chance to prove yourself smart.




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - skii - 06-29-2009 11:09 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

skii Wrote:
bad guys and good guys often look alike and that you have to delve deeper.  This is all that the women in the thread were saying to you.  


That's all the guys have been saying the whole time.  We just said start look in the B Group men and skip the A Group thugs and other assorted losers who you will not see a picture of in the real world anyway - just talk to the dumbass for 3 minutes then walk away and go home and shower off the experience.


Really Tim?  But a few posts ago you were looking deep into people based on pics from hotghettomess.com and googled pics of black college students. According to you we could tell that the first guy that you posted was nice based on

Quote:
He looks happy.  You can tell he is intelligent.  He knows how to dress neatly.  And he looks like a good clean loving man who you can respect!

Icon_eh

  It also takes more than 3 minutes to determine whether or not someone is a thug.  I guess you could ask "are you a thug" and then if he says yes, clutch your pearls and run off screaming.    Icon_lol  Or you could ask if they've been to college. Oh wait, you already said that you couldn't ask that upfront. It's not important because you dropped out of high school.  Icon_lol  

Quote:
I'm on your side ladies - hugs and loser men suck - I am trying to help guide you to the good ones - do you want to hear us men - or do you want to listen to this obviously cracked woman?  Do you notice she is the only one (as usual) fighting the whole forum alone?

NOTE: I hope the visitors and new posters here can see her destructive pattern of posting - and please disregard her accordingly.  We have tried banning her but we can not make her go and stay away - she has posted under 15 screen names.


I think that you've shown that you are the one who is "cracked" in this thread.  Your premise was wrong and instead of admitting it you are back to asking for backup and making personal attacks against the women who disagreed with you.  Maybe you hope that your comment about "15 screennames" will distract people from these facts, but I don't think that it will.  Icon_lol


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 11:10 PM

Yeah to Ra above - and the thugs genetically engineer the worst!  And they do it without since or education - just their stinky penis'!  At least he is trying to make the world better in his mind.  If he can get rid of the thugs!!! Hmmm....

How can we contact this brilliant man?  That's better then my movie and forum put together!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 06-29-2009 11:21 PM

IslandRa Wrote:

skii Wrote:

IslandRa Wrote:

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
*Yawn*  

I was talking about the same one guy on the right in Group B, relative to the one guy on the right in Group A - the same to guys that YOU singled out as references.  Do you really think I can not see that I can not see the other guys eyes in the Group B photo?  Are you serious?


And as I said earlier the expression that someone is making, and yes, even whether or not they have an intelligent look in their eyes can depend largely on what they are doing when you take their picture.  For example, you have posted a picture of yourself where you don't look stupid, but anyone reading this thread can see that you must be.  This man: has an IQ of 200 and is brilliant in many ways.  But he looks dumb as hell in this shot.  So to wrap this up.  You were wrong, the women pointed it out, the men backed you up because they always do, and you will never admit it.  Icon_lol



This guy has a compassionate or worried look in his eyes.  This means he cares about something.  This man does not have blank eyes.

The other dudes have the look of death.  Blank, empty, souless.  Look again, you are almost there.  We will clue you in yet.  There is promise in this wone eyes thank.


You think that he's compassionate? He wants to genetically engineer the human race and only let those who deems fit breed and survive.  Kind of like Hitler.  Icon_neutral

Quote:
                                                                 
Chris Langan:

    People who wanted to have children would apply to make sure they have no diseases. Why do we have to do it through genetic engineering? Well, we have to let only the fit breed…. Freedom is not necessarily a right. It is a privilege that you have to earn. A lot of people abuse their freedom and that is something that people have to be trained not to do.

Interviewer:

    But who? Who does this training?

Chris Langan:

    Well, I’d be perfectly willing to do it myself. Just put me in charge.”


So basically, appearances, especially those in a photograph can be deceiving, and a "good" man or a "bad" man doesn't always have a certain look.  And I have seen stone cold killers happily playing with their kids at the park, and they don't look like what they are.  You simply cannot determine if a man is good or bad, based on appearance.  Yet Tim asserted that you can.




Ok.. well we did qualify it by saying this is a start but you must get to know the guy afterwards. See... you conveniently ignore some things in order to argue other things.  Take our arguement as a whole then apply the principle.  Once you can sucessfully do that then point out the holes in it.

OK he is a Hitler type.  I would still shake his hand and talk to him until he told me what his philosophy is.  Then I would tell him he's nuts and meet other people.  Simple.  I bet hes more interesting than the thugs above.


Tim also said this.

Quote:
there is no excuse for dating these pretty boys, thugs and losers!  You wouldn't.  And that would be JUST based on their looks Right? - but some other women would - JUST based on their looks.  And this is what we men are talking about.  And how much do you wanna bet they don't have a few kids running around?  People pick other people by their appearance all the time - what else do you think they go by when they first meet?

    Basically he is advocating picking men by appearance.  I am saying that appearance means squat because his thugs and good guys look about the same.  He posted more pics later, maintaining this premise of judging by appearance throughout the conversation.  Based on appearance alone some college students would have been dismissed along with the thugs if their pictures didn't show up when Tim googled "black college students".  Icon_lol  I've looked at his argument as a whole, and the whole thing is nonsensical.  From his his premise to part where he was looking deep into the strangers that he googled.  Icon_rolleyes   I realize that you can't admit this, because he'd be telling everyone to ignore you next, but you have to know that it is true.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - queenbastet - 06-29-2009 11:25 PM

By request I am addressing Skii:

Did you miss the NUMEROUS times we stated "first impression only"  and "you  still need to learn a person's behaviors"   and did you miss the 6 pictures that I added that offered a different look into this discussion???
over and over and over, we have stated u still must judge by behaviors, BUT this is a good way to avoid wasting your time on the "wrong" person...  

but you just HAVE TO argue.  You can't just have dialogue... u have to say someone is "wrong"  ...
does that give u an ego boost to feel that u r right and someone else is wrong?  even when someone is simply reaching out to offer suggestions on how to improve the FIRST IMPRESSION judgement...  

why not add to it?  
why not say "and after you get a feel for who they are at the first impression, here is how to continue to judge them to ensure you were right"  ???

add to the discussion... even if u disagree u can still ADD to the discussion in a polite manner...

if u disagree, then politely say "i just dont think this will work.
I've seen too many instances where it doesn't... " and then discuss POLITELY.  but for some reason, that continues to escape you... the idea that you must be polite EVEN WHEN you disagree.  

If only ud be polite, then everyone could discuss with you...
but time and time again, ur inflammatory and attacking others and THIS IS WHY you are repeatedly ostracized... NOT BECAUSE OF UR OPINIONS, but rather BECAUSE U CAN'T BE CIVIL.  

ALL NEW POSTERS:  
Tim asks that your comments here abide by the same criteria for an open forum debate on CNN.  discuss ideas, share ideas, and if u disagree, do so in a polite manner,   the way u would disagree with someone in a university classroom.

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

skii Wrote:
bad guys and good guys often look alike and that you have to delve deeper.  This is all that the women in the thread were saying to you.  


That's all the guys have been saying the whole time.  We just said start look in the B Group men and skip the A Group thugs and other assorted losers who you will not see a picture of in the real world anyway - just talk to the dumbass for 3 minutes then walk away and go home and shower off the experience.


Really Tim?  But a few posts ago you were looking deep into people based on pics from hotghettomess.com and googled pics of black college students. According to you we could tell that the first guy that you posted was nice based on

Quote:
He looks happy.  You can tell he is intelligent.  He knows how to dress neatly.  And he looks like a good clean loving man who you can respect!

Icon_eh

  It also takes more than 3 minutes to determine whether or not someone is a thug.  I guess you could ask "are you a thug" and then if he says yes, clutch your pearls and run off screaming.    Icon_lol  Or you could ask if they've been to college. Oh wait, you already said that you couldn't ask that upfront. It's not important because you dropped out of high school.  Icon_lol  

Quote:
I'm on your side ladies - hugs and loser men suck - I am trying to help guide you to the good ones - do you want to hear us men - or do you want to listen to this obviously cracked woman?  Do you notice she is the only one (as usual) fighting the whole forum alone?

NOTE: I hope the visitors and new posters here can see her destructive pattern of posting - and please disregard her accordingly.  We have tried banning her but we can not make her go and stay away - she has posted under 15 screen names.


I think that you've shown that you are the one who is "cracked" in this thread.  Your premise was wrong and instead of admitting it you are back to asking for backup and making personal attacks against the women who disagreed with you.  Maybe you hope that your comment about "15 screennames" will distract people from these facts, but I don't think that it will.  Icon_lol




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-29-2009 11:33 PM

skii Wrote:
Basically he is advocating picking men by appearance.  I am saying that appearance means squat because his thugs and good guys look about the same.  Based on appearance alone some college students would have been dismissed along with the thugs if their pictures didn't show up when Tim googled "black college students".  Icon_lol  I've looked at his argument as a whole, and the whole thing is nonsensical.  From his his premise to part where he was looking deep into the strangers that he googled.  Icon_rolleyes   I realize that you can't admit this, because he'd be telling everyone to ignore you next, but you have to know that it is true.


Now she is telling me what I am saying - when I am standing right here telling everybody what I am saying.

I did nothing of the sort!  Whatever.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - skii - 06-29-2009 11:51 PM

queenbastet Wrote:
By request I am addressing Skii:

Did you miss the NUMEROUS times we stated "first impression only"  and "you  still need to learn a person's behaviors"   and did you miss the 6 pictures that I added that offered a different look into this discussion???
over and over and over, we have stated u still must judge by behaviors, BUT this is a good way to avoid wasting your time on the "wrong" person...  

As a general rule I ignore any post with your name on it.  *shrugs*  I went back to look and you are STILL advocating choosing men based on appearance.  And you also seem to think that you can tell a person's character from a photograph and the "smugness in his smile. "  As if men smile the same way all of the time and will have the same facial expression when they approach a woman. It's ridiculous. 
but you just HAVE TO argue.  You can't just have dialogue... u have to say someone is "wrong"  ...
does that give u an ego boost to feel that u r right and someone else is wrong?  even when someone is simply reaching out to offer suggestions on how to improve the FIRST IMPRESSION judgement...  


Tim went on a huge tirade about how wrong "the women" citing "female logic" and calling the thread an "idiot bin" because of the opinions that they posted in it.  So yes, when Tim disproved his own point I had a good Icon_lol at his expense.  

Quote:

why not add to it?  
why not say "and after you get a feel for who they are at the first impression, here is how to continue to judge them to ensure you were right"  ???

add to the discussion... even if u disagree u can still ADD to the discussion in a polite manner...

if u disagree, then politely say "i just dont think this will work.
I've seen too many instances where it doesn't... " and then discuss POLITELY.  but for some reason, that continues to escape you... the idea that you must be polite EVEN WHEN you disagree.  

If only ud be polite, then everyone could discuss with you...
but time and time again, ur inflammatory and attacking others and THIS IS WHY you are repeatedly ostracized... NOT BECAUSE OF UR OPINIONS, but rather BECAUSE U CAN'T BE CIVIL.  

ALL NEW POSTERS:  
Tim asks that your comments here abide by the same criteria for an open forum debate on CNN.  discuss ideas, share ideas, and if u disagree, do so in a polite manner,   the way u would disagree with someone in a university classroom.


I know from past experience here that being polite does not get you any better treatment here if you are female.  I've seen female posters who have been nothing but polite treated quite rudely by Tim as well.  Don't get it twisted, it has EVERYTHING to do with your opinion.  Stop cosigning and think for yourself one day and see what happens.  Icon_lol  

Instead of pretending that the conversation on this forum bears any resemblance to CNN or a university classroom debate let's get back to the point.  No one declares "open season" on someone for disagreeing in either of those settings and comparing the level of discourse that Tim offers with universities and CNN discussions is laughable.   You cannot tell if a man is good or not based on his appearance, the premise of this thread was nonsensical and Tim got pissed when he was called out on it.  Even when he was called out politely.  Icon_rolleyes  End of story and I am done with this for now.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-30-2009 04:51 AM




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - skii - 06-30-2009 07:47 AM

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Ladies, pick a "good man"  to marry and have children with from Group A or Group B - better yet - pick one for your 18 year old daughter!

Group A - The Bad Boys:


A - 2.


Group B - The Nice Guys:
B - 7


Notice the absence of high fashioned arrogant pretty boy ladies man dressed-up educated THUGS - they are not good picks for Group B.

It's simple ladies - Group B men are a better starting point then Group A men - THEN YOU HAVE TO CHECK THEM OUT - this is only a first look pre-qualifier prior to the in depth due diligence before deep commitment.


Please note that some of the "bad" dudes in A-2 are dressed just like the "good" dudes in B-7.   Icon_neutral  Since men don't usually have their college registrations in hand or throw up gang signs when they approach a woman, then the point that the women are making is obvious.  YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER and how a man is dressed does not give many clues as to whether or not he is a good man.   Thank you for proving my point for me.  Icon_lolIcon_lolIcon_lol


Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:


Again, please note that aside from the gun and the obvious "thug" tattoo the college student that you posted looks a lot like the thug.  Most women don't get a convenient photo of a man throwing up gang signs or choose a thug to date thinking that they are going to change him with Jesus.  Icon_lol  You simply cannot pick a good man based on appearance.  This thread makes that crystal clear.  Icon_lol


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-30-2009 08:24 AM

You are so repetitive.  The thug has ghetto tattoos as part of his uniform - the good guys don't.  And he has the gun and bad attitude - and the attitude can be detected very quickly from their demeanor.  Plus they hang out in the streets, have thug friends, smoke and drink a lot, you don't know what they do for money or where they are all day and night.  They can dress 100% alike so what - I am not talking about the attire - I am talking about the man's vibe, his topics of conversation and interests, and his light or heavy energy and personality.

This is not about personal fashion - I said look at the man, and what he chooses to ware is but on component of the evaluation process.  This is starting to get silly, you can stop now - this is the second day of this nonsense.

To all other posters and visitors:  I am attempting to make real and valid points to help our young women in their selection process of a mate.  And it is obvious that this poster is just here to play games and talk in circles for jollies.  Please ignore this person's foolishness - she does not represent this forum or the real members here.  I have banned her repeatedly (15 times now!) and she just keeps coming back under different names to cause havoc here.  My apology to you, we are not here to just play games, bicker and fight.

Thanks for your understanding,
Tim Alexander,
Forum Moderator


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 06-30-2009 08:38 AM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
You are so repetitive.  The thug has ghetto tattoos as part of his uniform - the good guys don't.  And he has the gun and bad attitude - and the attitude can be detected very quickly from their demeanor.  Plus they hang out in the streets, have thug friends, smoke and drink a lot, you don't know what they do for money or where they are all day and night.  They can dress 100% alike so what - I am not talking about the attire - I am talking about the man's vibe, his topics of conversation and interests, and his light or heavy energy and personality.  



Interesting how your argument changes from page to page. In your first post you mention man's style of dress and appearance as a way of knowing that he is a good man.  Now dress and fashion choices are suddenly irrelevant.   Icon_lol I repeat what I said and what you said, because you like to twist things and make straw man arguments in a desperate attempt to win a debate and a simple quote or two reveals your BS.    

Quote:

This is not about personal fashion - I said look at the man, and what he chooses to ware is but on component of the evaluation process.  This is starting to get silly, you can stop now - this is the second day of this nonsense.


It was silly the moment that you posted this thread with it's faulty premise.  It became nonsense when you contradicted yourself repeatedly, and then disproved your own original point.  Icon_lolYou certainly advised women to look at what he was wearing (that's "wear" not "ware") initially.

Quote:

To all other posters and visitors:  I am attempting to make real and valid points to help our young women in their selection process of a mate.  And it is obvious that this poster is just here to play games and talk in circles for jollies.  Please ignore this person's foolishness - she does not represent this forum or the real members here.  I have banned her repeatedly (15 times now!) and she just keeps coming back under different names to cause havoc here.  My apology to you, we are not here to just play games, bicker and fight.

Thanks for your understanding,
Tim Alexander,
Forum Moderator


You may have been attempting to make a valid point, but you failed.  And even the women with 1 screen name saw that. Icon_lol You are trying to make this about me, but you were being called out before I even entered the thread. Icon_lol And you did plenty of bickering and fighting with other posters with no help from me.  You were ignoring me at first remember?  But nice try.  Icon_razz2


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-30-2009 08:51 AM

OK, fun time over with this one - time to go silent on her again.  She is the worst example of a woman, and I am sorry that one of our good posters who I highly respect was sited as being in agreement with her twisted demented game play.

She is only here to childishly compete with me on every point I, and you other posters make.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - koolkc107 - 06-30-2009 08:56 AM

I'm going to be repetitive too. The reason why there is opposition to such a simple self-evidently true supposition is that some women want to cling to the idea that they have little or no culpability in the dismal state of our relationships. Admitting what any sensible, rational person can see for themselves will be a tacit admission that although women could make better choices they have actively chosen not to. Again, if one was to personally meet the brothers in A and B, there would be no doubt at all which of the two was making positive choices in their lives, this even if they were wearing exactly the same thing. It is not just how they are dressed, but their demeanor- how they carry themselves, what they do, and how they do it. By insisting there is no way to tell, even when the proof is staring us right in the face that women make these choices daily, they absolve themselves of any responsibility in the mess they have a huge role in creating.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 06-30-2009 09:25 AM

You can repeat yourself here anytime you like my good brotha - your points are always welcomed and appreciated.

It needs to be reenforced to counteract her foolishness she spews over and over.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Nyasha - 06-30-2009 10:57 AM

I understand the point that Tim's trying to make. Sometimes a persons style of dress should be taken into consideration. I hate the thugged out look on guys! I find it childish and chaotic. It's just embarrasing. I don't believe that grown men should dress in that manner. I would much rather take a chance with one of the guys in the group B photos. I understand that  some proffesional men can be players, but i still believe that it makes more sense for women to take a chance with these types of men and stay away from the thugs.

I was shocked by Rom Wills is comments. It seems that he's telling women that proffessional men and thugs are just the same. This just seems like a crazy statement to make! I won't be buying any of his books.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - jazzyjess - 06-30-2009 11:09 AM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Here it is right here...

FilmmakerTimAlexander Wrote:
Thats just a starting point - any fool who would marry someone or have a serious relationship with someone on the way they look WITHOUT GETTING TO KNOW THEM DEEPLY is a dumbass!  But yet people DO sleep with a person just because of the way they look - booth male and female - and sometime they make babies!

And no, I am not saying all tattoos are bad, you have to look at how they wear them and why.  But also not everyone has them - they are by far a minority!

And I was never talking about the way they looked as far as good looking and attire - I was talking about looking at them as a whole, and their character.  You can see the first man has a gentle spirit and integrity - I don't even know why we are playing this game, and the no god men who won't even keep their clothes on for trying to be sexy lack much character.  I am asking women to look for the character, and the clues of it or lack of it as a starting point - and then check them out with a fine tooth comb for fleas and ticks - and at first sighting of one KICK THE FOOL TO THE CURB AND RUN FULL SPEED IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!!!  And that is NOT what most young women do now a days.  They run IN the direction of the losers!


I am not as one sided as I am so often perceived to be - and this is no the only post in this thread where I reiterated that the look alone is by far not it - but a starting point - AND THEN - you have to look at them with open eyes to see who he is as a man - and learn when to turn and walk away - and that is on of the biggest problems!  Women KEEP THE LOSERS once they have conclusively established that he is indeed truly a loser!  That is the biggest why of them all!


I do appreciate what you were saying in your first post, Tim!  I would also add to that - A Good Man; not just a Good Black Man.  I am stressing for my children that the most important thing to look for in a person, isn't their color, their looks or even the number of degrees they have, it's the content of their character!  That's the first starting point.  Instinctive Intelligence is also important, not necessarily someone with a high level of degrees.  After my divorce, I met a professor of an Ivy league college, he was well dressed, articulate, obviously highly intelligent, with a sports car - and let me tell you, was I surprised when he asked me to go to a swinger's club with him after a few dates!!!  

I met another man who was extremely wealthy well dressed, intelligent (has even done consultant work overseas) paid $400 each for tickets to a New Year's Eve party, but upon going on a few other dates, I found out he had a tremendous drinking problem - Not for me!!

Then I met a man who is a carpenter by trade, we arranged to meet after work for coffee. He drove his work truck when we met and once we started talking, I realized what a gentleman I had in my midst!  After we got to know each other a little better, I found out he came to the US from Puerto Rico at 17, made his way from nothing, put himself through college, started his carpentry business, supported a family (his son won a free tuition scholarship for academic excellence.)  This man had humble beginnings, but achieved much because of his work ethics, integrity and determination.  I fell for him when I saw the infinite patience he had with his grandson and I found a pearl among swine (rich, intelligent and good looking they may have been, but still swine)  We married 3 months ago and I am attaching the picture of a good man! He may not be black, but that's beside the point;-)

This man who on the surface didn't have all the outer trappings the other two did, because of the content of his character, he owned outright his work truck and all the tools in the truck for his hard wood flooring and cabinetry work, he also owns a Mercury Mountaineer and a Mercedes 430 SL which he paid for in cash. So, while good looks and intelligence are nice, I think the character is much more important thing to look for.  And by the way, I didn't see the Mercedes until we were well into dating, so I wasn't attracted to the car!!



RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just Incase Some Of You Don't Kno - Nyasha - 06-30-2009 11:20 AM

queenbastet Wrote:
Thanks for this Tim.  Icon_biggrin  

Here are two that I want to add...  I know both of them personally... both are 30, single, successful, no children and the first one is currently looking for "the one"... the other is looking but not really trying. He's just hoping to find someone within the next few years.

Ladies... enjoy ... they both happen to be beautiful too.  Icon_biggrin  






Thanks for posting these pictures. I would rather take a chance with men who look like this. I don't waste my time with thugged out looking men. There is a difference between thugged out lil wayne style dress and smart casual wear. I just have no time for men who dress like juvenile Delinquents!


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Nyasha - 06-30-2009 11:48 AM

jazzyjess Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Here it is right here...

FilmmakerTimAlexander Wrote:
Thats just a starting point - any fool who would marry someone or have a serious relationship with someone on the way they look WITHOUT GETTING TO KNOW THEM DEEPLY is a dumbass!  But yet people DO sleep with a person just because of the way they look - booth male and female - and sometime they make babies!

And no, I am not saying all tattoos are bad, you have to look at how they wear them and why.  But also not everyone has them - they are by far a minority!

And I was never talking about the way they looked as far as good looking and attire - I was talking about looking at them as a whole, and their character.  You can see the first man has a gentle spirit and integrity - I don't even know why we are playing this game, and the no god men who won't even keep their clothes on for trying to be sexy lack much character.  I am asking women to look for the character, and the clues of it or lack of it as a starting point - and then check them out with a fine tooth comb for fleas and ticks - and at first sighting of one KICK THE FOOL TO THE CURB AND RUN FULL SPEED IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!!!  And that is NOT what most young women do now a days.  They run IN the direction of the losers!


I am not as one sided as I am so often perceived to be - and this is no the only post in this thread where I reiterated that the look alone is by far not it - but a starting point - AND THEN - you have to look at them with open eyes to see who he is as a man - and learn when to turn and walk away - and that is on of the biggest problems!  Women KEEP THE LOSERS once they have conclusively established that he is indeed truly a loser!  That is the biggest why of them all!


I do appreciate what you were saying in your first post, Tim!  I would also add to that - A Good Man; not just a Good Black Man.  I am stressing for my children that the most important thing to look for in a person, isn't their color, their looks or even the number of degrees they have, it's the content of their character!  That's the first starting point.  Instinctive Intelligence is also important, not necessarily someone with a high level of degrees.  After my divorce, I met a professor of an Ivy league college, he was well dressed, articulate, obviously highly intelligent, with a sports car - and let me tell you, was I surprised when he asked me to go to a swinger's club with him after a few dates!!!  

I met another man who was extremely wealthy well dressed, intelligent (has even done consultant work overseas) paid $400 each for tickets to a New Year's Eve party, but upon going on a few other dates, I found out he had a tremendous drinking problem - Not for me!!

Then I met a man who is a carpenter by trade, we arranged to meet after work for coffee. He drove his work truck when we met and once we started talking, I realized what a gentleman I had in my midst!  After we got to know each other a little better, I found out he came to the US from Puerto Rico at 17, made his way from nothing, put himself through college, started his carpentry business, supported a family (his son won a free tuition scholarship for academic excellence.)  This man had humble beginnings, but achieved much because of his work ethics, integrity and determination.  I fell for him when I saw the infinite patience he had with his grandson and I found a pearl among swine (rich, intelligent and good looking they may have been, but still swine)  We married 3 months ago and I am attaching the picture of a good man! He may not be black, but that's beside the point;-)

This man who on the surface didn't have all the outer trappings the other two did, because of the content of his character, he owned outright his work truck and all the tools in the truck for his hard wood flooring and cabinetry work, he also owns a Mercury Mountaineer and a Mercedes 430 SL which he paid for in cash. So, while good looks and intelligence are nice, I think the character is much more important thing to look for.  And by the way, I didn't see the Mercedes until we were well into dating, so I wasn't attracted to the car!!


Tim is not saying that women should be materialistic and he did not say that women should stay away from trade men and only date doctors or lawyers.

Of course it is true that some proffessional men and trade men can be players. But i would rather take a chance with a smart/casual looking man who was a proffessional, carpenter or electrician as oppossed to a thugged out guy who dressed like lil wayne and lacked direction.

I understand that you have to get to know a person and their character, and that people can disappoint you. But i have no interest in getting to know a man who dresses like lil wayne, even if that person is a proffessional. I have grown to hate the thugged out gangsta rap image. I just have no time for men who want to look like thugs and i would advise other women to stay away from them.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - IslandRa - 06-30-2009 11:59 AM

Another woman who gets it!!!!   Icon_upIcon_upIcon_upIcon_upIcon_up

Nyasha Wrote:

jazzyjess Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Here it is right here...

FilmmakerTimAlexander Wrote:
Thats just a starting point - any fool who would marry someone or have a serious relationship with someone on the way they look WITHOUT GETTING TO KNOW THEM DEEPLY is a dumbass!  But yet people DO sleep with a person just because of the way they look - booth male and female - and sometime they make babies!

And no, I am not saying all tattoos are bad, you have to look at how they wear them and why.  But also not everyone has them - they are by far a minority!

And I was never talking about the way they looked as far as good looking and attire - I was talking about looking at them as a whole, and their character.  You can see the first man has a gentle spirit and integrity - I don't even know why we are playing this game, and the no god men who won't even keep their clothes on for trying to be sexy lack much character.  I am asking women to look for the character, and the clues of it or lack of it as a starting point - and then check them out with a fine tooth comb for fleas and ticks - and at first sighting of one KICK THE FOOL TO THE CURB AND RUN FULL SPEED IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!!!  And that is NOT what most young women do now a days.  They run IN the direction of the losers!


I am not as one sided as I am so often perceived to be - and this is no the only post in this thread where I reiterated that the look alone is by far not it - but a starting point - AND THEN - you have to look at them with open eyes to see who he is as a man - and learn when to turn and walk away - and that is on of the biggest problems!  Women KEEP THE LOSERS once they have conclusively established that he is indeed truly a loser!  That is the biggest why of them all!


I do appreciate what you were saying in your first post, Tim!  I would also add to that - A Good Man; not just a Good Black Man.  I am stressing for my children that the most important thing to look for in a person, isn't their color, their looks or even the number of degrees they have, it's the content of their character!  That's the first starting point.  Instinctive Intelligence is also important, not necessarily someone with a high level of degrees.  After my divorce, I met a professor of an Ivy league college, he was well dressed, articulate, obviously highly intelligent, with a sports car - and let me tell you, was I surprised when he asked me to go to a swinger's club with him after a few dates!!!  

I met another man who was extremely wealthy well dressed, intelligent (has even done consultant work overseas) paid $400 each for tickets to a New Year's Eve party, but upon going on a few other dates, I found out he had a tremendous drinking problem - Not for me!!

Then I met a man who is a carpenter by trade, we arranged to meet after work for coffee. He drove his work truck when we met and once we started talking, I realized what a gentleman I had in my midst!  After we got to know each other a little better, I found out he came to the US from Puerto Rico at 17, made his way from nothing, put himself through college, started his carpentry business, supported a family (his son won a free tuition scholarship for academic excellence.)  This man had humble beginnings, but achieved much because of his work ethics, integrity and determination.  I fell for him when I saw the infinite patience he had with his grandson and I found a pearl among swine (rich, intelligent and good looking they may have been, but still swine)  We married 3 months ago and I am attaching the picture of a good man! He may not be black, but that's beside the point;-)

This man who on the surface didn't have all the outer trappings the other two did, because of the content of his character, he owned outright his work truck and all the tools in the truck for his hard wood flooring and cabinetry work, he also owns a Mercury Mountaineer and a Mercedes 430 SL which he paid for in cash. So, while good looks and intelligence are nice, I think the character is much more important thing to look for.  And by the way, I didn't see the Mercedes until we were well into dating, so I wasn't attracted to the car!!


Tim is not saying that women should be materialistic and he did not say that women should stay away from trade men and only date doctors or lawyers.

Of course it is true that some proffessional men and trade men can be players. But i would rather take a chance with a smart/casual looking man who was a proffessional, carpenter or electrician as oppossed to a thugged out guy who dressed like lil wayne and lacked direction.

I understand that you have to get to know a person and their character, and that people can disappoint you. But i have no interest in getting to know a man who dresses like lil wayne, even if that person is a proffessional. I have grown to hate the thugged out gangsta rap image. I just have no time for men who want to look like thugs and i would advise other women to stay away from them.




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - koolkc107 - 06-30-2009 01:34 PM

Gee, it sure doesn't sound like this woman "settled" to me. What it sounds like is she did a little reassessing of her decision making process and as a result found exactly what she was seeking. Darn! That kinda sounds familiar. I wonder who has been preaching this same thing, even went as far as to make a film about it? Oh well, the answer will come to me soon enough. Now where the hell is that UPS man? I got my gold fronts comin' and I just can't wait . . .


jazzyjess Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
Here it is right here...

FilmmakerTimAlexander Wrote:
Thats just a starting point - any fool who would marry someone or have a serious relationship with someone on the way they look WITHOUT GETTING TO KNOW THEM DEEPLY is a dumbass!  But yet people DO sleep with a person just because of the way they look - booth male and female - and sometime they make babies!

And no, I am not saying all tattoos are bad, you have to look at how they wear them and why.  But also not everyone has them - they are by far a minority!

And I was never talking about the way they looked as far as good looking and attire - I was talking about looking at them as a whole, and their character.  You can see the first man has a gentle spirit and integrity - I don't even know why we are playing this game, and the no god men who won't even keep their clothes on for trying to be sexy lack much character.  I am asking women to look for the character, and the clues of it or lack of it as a starting point - and then check them out with a fine tooth comb for fleas and ticks - and at first sighting of one KICK THE FOOL TO THE CURB AND RUN FULL SPEED IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!!!  And that is NOT what most young women do now a days.  They run IN the direction of the losers!


I am not as one sided as I am so often perceived to be - and this is no the only post in this thread where I reiterated that the look alone is by far not it - but a starting point - AND THEN - you have to look at them with open eyes to see who he is as a man - and learn when to turn and walk away - and that is on of the biggest problems!  Women KEEP THE LOSERS once they have conclusively established that he is indeed truly a loser!  That is the biggest why of them all!


I do appreciate what you were saying in your first post, Tim!  I would also add to that - A Good Man; not just a Good Black Man.  I am stressing for my children that the most important thing to look for in a person, isn't their color, their looks or even the number of degrees they have, it's the content of their character!  That's the first starting point.  Instinctive Intelligence is also important, not necessarily someone with a high level of degrees.  After my divorce, I met a professor of an Ivy league college, he was well dressed, articulate, obviously highly intelligent, with a sports car - and let me tell you, was I surprised when he asked me to go to a swinger's club with him after a few dates!!!  

I met another man who was extremely wealthy well dressed, intelligent (has even done consultant work overseas) paid $400 each for tickets to a New Year's Eve party, but upon going on a few other dates, I found out he had a tremendous drinking problem - Not for me!!

Then I met a man who is a carpenter by trade, we arranged to meet after work for coffee. He drove his work truck when we met and once we started talking, I realized what a gentleman I had in my midst!  After we got to know each other a little better, I found out he came to the US from Puerto Rico at 17, made his way from nothing, put himself through college, started his carpentry business, supported a family (his son won a free tuition scholarship for academic excellence.)  This man had humble beginnings, but achieved much because of his work ethics, integrity and determination.  I fell for him when I saw the infinite patience he had with his grandson and I found a pearl among swine (rich, intelligent and good looking they may have been, but still swine)  We married 3 months ago and I am attaching the picture of a good man! He may not be black, but that's beside the point;-)

This man who on the surface didn't have all the outer trappings the other two did, because of the content of his character, he owned outright his work truck and all the tools in the truck for his hard wood flooring and cabinetry work, he also owns a Mercury Mountaineer and a Mercedes 430 SL which he paid for in cash. So, while good looks and intelligence are nice, I think the character is much more important thing to look for.  And by the way, I didn't see the Mercedes until we were well into dating, so I wasn't attracted to the car!!




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - queenbastet - 06-30-2009 02:49 PM

In response to Skii,  Tim reached out to the new and old forum members and visitors... and I wanted to highlight what he said...  

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
You are so repetitive.  The thug has ghetto tattoos as part of his uniform - the good guys don't.  And he has the gun and bad attitude - and the attitude can be detected very quickly from their demeanor.  Plus they hang out in the streets, have thug friends, smoke and drink a lot, you don't know what they do for money or where they are all day and night.  They can dress 100% alike so what - I am not talking about the attire - I am talking about the man's vibe, his topics of conversation and interests, and his light or heavy energy and personality.

This is not about personal fashion - I said look at the man, and what he chooses to ware is but on component of the evaluation process.  This is starting to get silly, you can stop now - this is the second day of this nonsense.

  To all other posters and visitors:  I am attempting to make real and valid points to help our young women in their selection process of a mate.  And it is obvious that this poster is just here to play games and talk in circles for jollies.  Please ignore this person's foolishness - she does not represent this forum or the real members here.  I have banned her repeatedly (15 times now!) and she just keeps coming back under different names to cause havoc here.  My apology to you, we are not here to just play games, bicker and fight.

Thanks for your understanding,
Tim Alexander,
Forum Moderator




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 07-01-2009 08:59 AM

And I will highligh my response.  Icon_rolleyes

skii Wrote:

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
You are so repetitive.  The thug has ghetto tattoos as part of his uniform - the good guys don't.  And he has the gun and bad attitude - and the attitude can be detected very quickly from their demeanor.  Plus they hang out in the streets, have thug friends, smoke and drink a lot, you don't know what they do for money or where they are all day and night.  They can dress 100% alike so what - I am not talking about the attire - I am talking about the man's vibe, his topics of conversation and interests, and his light or heavy energy and personality.  



Interesting how your argument changes from page to page. In your first post you mention man's style of dress and appearance as a way of knowing that he is a good man.  Now dress and fashion choices are suddenly irrelevant.   Icon_lol I repeat what I said and what you said, because you like to twist things and make straw man arguments in a desperate attempt to win a debate and a simple quote or two reveals your BS.    

Quote:

This is not about personal fashion - I said look at the man, and what he chooses to ware is but on component of the evaluation process.  This is starting to get silly, you can stop now - this is the second day of this nonsense.


It was silly the moment that you posted this thread with it's faulty premise.  It became nonsense when you contradicted yourself repeatedly, and then disproved your own original point.  Icon_lolYou certainly advised women to look at what he was wearing (that's "wear" not "ware") initially.

Quote:

To all other posters and visitors:  I am attempting to make real and valid points to help our young women in their selection process of a mate.  And it is obvious that this poster is just here to play games and talk in circles for jollies.  Please ignore this person's foolishness - she does not represent this forum or the real members here.  I have banned her repeatedly (15 times now!) and she just keeps coming back under different names to cause havoc here.  My apology to you, we are not here to just play games, bicker and fight.

Thanks for your understanding,
Tim Alexander,
Forum Moderator


You may have been attempting to make a valid point, but you failed.  And even the women with 1 screen name saw that. Icon_lol You are trying to make this about me, but you were being called out before I even entered the thread. Icon_lol And you did plenty of bickering and fighting with other posters with no help from me.  You were ignoring me at first remember?  But nice try.  Icon_razz2




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - koolkc107 - 07-01-2009 11:09 AM

Just to clarify, this is the original post. Notice that the comment on dress is but one factor of what the original poster is trying to say. But, true to form, some have chosen to rebut a simple straitforward premise with the same old dissemination. Once again, congratulations to the doublespeak school!


Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
See, get  a nice guy that looks a little something like this...



Now this is a man I would want my daughter to marry! (If I had one!)  Men know a good man when they see one!  Just women don't.  So I will work to be positive and show you then.

He looks happy.  You can tell he is intelligent.  He knows how to dress neatly.  And he looks like a good clean loving man who you can respect!  Don't you think you would do a better job of trying to raise kids with a man like this?

If you really look - I'm sure you can see the difference.  Choose your men wisely ladies.

* Hey guys (and girls), please post some more photos of good examples of men for the women to use as guide lines in their selections of who they should be talking too - since it seems so many of them haven't got a clue of what one looks like!  Let's educate our ladies men - since no one else seems to have taken the time to do it in their lives!




RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - skii - 07-01-2009 11:40 AM

koolkc107 Wrote:
Just to clarify, this is the original post. Notice that the comment on dress is but one factor of what the original poster is trying to say. But, true to form, some have chosen to rebut a simple straitforward premise with the same old dissemination. Once again, congratulations to the doublespeak school!



Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
See, get  a nice guy that looks a little something like this...



Now this is a man I would want my daughter to marry! (If I had one!)  Men know a good man when they see one!  Just women don't.  So I will work to be positive and show you then.

He looks happy.  You can tell he is intelligent.  He knows how to dress neatly.  And he looks like a good clean loving man who you can respect!  Don't you think you would do a better job of trying to raise kids with a man like this?

If you really look - I'm sure you can see the difference.  Choose your men wisely ladies.

* Hey guys (and girls), please post some more photos of good examples of men for the women to use as guide lines in their selections of who they should be talking too - since it seems so many of them haven't got a clue of what one looks like!  Let's educate our ladies men - since no one else seems to have taken the time to do it in their lives!


The original point made in this post was simple and straight forward.  Most of the women in the thread disagreed with it and Tim disproved it himself later.  There's no doublespeak in that.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 07-01-2009 12:41 PM

koolkc107 Wrote:
Just to clarify, this is the original post. Notice that the comment on dress is but one factor of what the original poster is trying to say. But, true to form, some have chosen to rebut a simple straitforward premise with the same old dissemination. Once again, congratulations to the doublespeak school!


Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
See, get  a nice guy that looks a little something like this...



Now this is a man I would want my daughter to marry! (If I had one!)  Men know a good man when they see one!  Just women don't.  So I will work to be positive and show you then.

He looks happy.  You can tell he is intelligent.  He knows how to dress neatly.  And he looks like a good clean loving man who you can respect!  Don't you think you would do a better job of trying to raise kids with a man like this?

If you really look - I'm sure you can see the difference.  Choose your men wisely ladies.

* Hey guys (and girls), please post some more photos of good examples of men for the women to use as guide lines in their selections of who they should be talking too - since it seems so many of them haven't got a clue of what one looks like!  Let's educate our ladies men - since no one else seems to have taken the time to do it in their lives!


Thank you koolkc!  Nothing was said about style - just neatly - that's it!  And it was only one component of what to look for - and every relationships does start with a look no matter how that is denied or talked past.

Look for neat - not fancy or thuggish.  That is all I was saying about the visual - but look more at the man's  character.

And I disproved what???  How???


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - koolkc107 - 07-01-2009 01:25 PM

Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:

koolkc107 Wrote:
Just to clarify, this is the original post. Notice that the comment on dress is but one factor of what the original poster is trying to say. But, true to form, some have chosen to rebut a simple straitforward premise with the same old dissemination. Once again, congratulations to the doublespeak school!


Filmmaker-TimAlexander Wrote:
See, get  a nice guy that looks a little something like this...



Now this is a man I would want my daughter to marry! (If I had one!)  Men know a good man when they see one!  Just women don't.  So I will work to be positive and show you then.

He looks happy.  You can tell he is intelligent.  He knows how to dress neatly.  And he looks like a good clean loving man who you can respect!  Don't you think you would do a better job of trying to raise kids with a man like this?

If you really look - I'm sure you can see the difference.  Choose your men wisely ladies.

* Hey guys (and girls), please post some more photos of good examples of men for the women to use as guide lines in their selections of who they should be talking too - since it seems so many of them haven't got a clue of what one looks like!  Let's educate our ladies men - since no one else seems to have taken the time to do it in their lives!


Thank you koolkc!  Nothing was said about style - just neatly - that's it!  And it was only one component of what to look for - and every relationships does start with a look no matter how that is denied or talked past.

Look for neat - not fancy or thuggish.  That is all I was saying about the visual - but look more at the man's  character.

And I disproved what???  How???


The problem here, Tim, is that it hasn't mattered that you've consistently said the same things in forwarding this idea. In spite of the fact that it isn't a complicated concept, and that it is something we all have actually lived and experienced, some have shown the inability (or unwillingness?) to grasp this simple concept. I have explained why this is in at least two previous posts in this thread, yet none of these naysayers have seen fit to try and respond directly to that particular subargument. Of course, there is no mystery in my mind as to why that is- there are some truths that do not readily lend themselves to manipulation.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Jakero's Sunshine - 07-01-2009 01:50 PM

Wow this has gone on for 12 pages...yikes!  Maybe I will try again........

The arguments have gotten a little out of hand.  In a respectful way, I will try again to explain that the original post did really only talk about appearances.  Now I know from other experiences with wolves in sheep's clothing (and sheep in wolves' clothing) that you have to look for more but a newbie who is genuinely trying to look for a good man and has no clue as to where to start or a changeling (going from bad habits to good) who may be trying to reform the way they do things may not understand that.  I'll probably get heat from this but I am always the advocate for the young impressionable unknown ladies who are just starting out and haven't been turned into angry and hurt women yet.  When I first read the title and the original post, I thought to myself, "This is going to blow up fast, hopefully there will be further instruction and explanations."  Lo and behold, here we are twelve pages later.

Now there were a few people who could have maybe been more civil in their posts and explained what their impression of the original post was with attacks.  I always teach my students not to put words into someone's mouths and not to assume someone means something.  If you need more information ask, so maybe that could be a solution to this problem.  Since the impression a lot of people got from the original post was that a woman should look at a guy and tell all of these things about him, if someone would have asked if that was all, I think it would have come out that you should only start there, not instantly judge, and get to know someone.  Hope this cools it down a little.  Icon_razz


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - koolkc107 - 07-01-2009 02:27 PM

Jakero's Sunshine Wrote:
Wow this has gone on for 12 pages...yikes!  Maybe I will try again........

The arguments have gotten a little out of hand.  In a respectful way, I will try again to explain that the original post did really only talk about appearances.  Now I know from other experiences with wolves in sheep's clothing (and sheep in wolves' clothing) that you have to look for more but a newbie who is genuinely trying to look for a good man and has no clue as to where to start or a changeling (going from bad habits to good) who may be trying to reform the way they do things may not understand that.  I'll probably get heat from this but I am always the advocate for the young impressionable unknown ladies who are just starting out and haven't been turned into angry and hurt women yet.  When I first read the title and the original post, I thought to myself, "This is going to blow up fast, hopefully there will be further instruction and explanations."  Lo and behold, here we are twelve pages later.

Now there were a few people who could have maybe been more civil in their posts and explained what their impression of the original post was with attacks.  I always teach my students not to put words into someone's mouths and not to assume someone means something.  If you need more information ask, so maybe that could be a solution to this problem.  Since the impression a lot of people got from the original post was that a woman should look at a guy and tell all of these things about him, if someone would have asked if that was all, I think it would have come out that you should only start there, not instantly judge, and get to know someone.  Hope this cools it down a little.  Icon_razz


I share your hope Ms. Sunshine. But as long as folks willingly misinterpret what is being said, I fear it will not cool off much. I love the following phrase in your post . . .wolves in sheep's clothing (and sheep in wolves' clothing) . Not to put words in Tim's mouth but I think it was something of a given that his suggestion was a generalization, a way to separate some of the good from the bad, a rule of thumb. Pretenders are sometimes easy to spot- many guys can tell a heel or a cad without much aquaintance. But even when they are wolves in sheep's clothing it should not have to be spoonfed to anyone that in many instances only time can reveal someone's true nature. Perhaps I am mistaken, but I don't feel it has been fair that Tim and others (including myself) have had to spend all this time defending what is patently obvious. I applaud the effort you made to calm things down, even if we do not agree.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Kn - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 07-01-2009 02:36 PM

Jakero's Sunshine Wrote:
Since the impression a lot of people got from the original post was that a woman should look at a guy and tell all of these things about him, if someone would have asked if that was all, I think it would have come out that you should only start there, not instantly judge, and get to know someone.  Hope this cools it down a little.


That is exactly it!  Of course you can not tell who is good by the way they look - but a clean cut man it a better starting point then a thug or a cocky pretty boy.

If you want to treat yourself to a good piece of fruit, you can either look in a "good" basket of clean, unbruised, fresh fruit - or a basket of dirty, worm infested, over ripe fruit that is beginning to rot.  Yes, you can find good and bad fruit in both baskets - but why would you willing go through the extra work of getting your hands dirty buy moving the rotted fruit in search of a piece that is still good?

I'm just saying - the basket with the clean well groomed fruit is a much starting point ladies.  And that advice is for you and your sistas - I don't need it - I don't need no man.

You can't even help some people sometime.  How sad, fighting about obvious sound and good advice about first look character assessments of random men you meet - that was geared to help the ladies.

Sorry for trying to help and offending your sensibilities instead.  Chose anything you like ladies, I cool... I already have a great wife!  And no matter how hard you may not want to- you WILL have to look at them first - and then make a rapid determination on if you want to even open your mouth say a word to them at all.

So which men will you open your mouth to which then starts the real process of getting to know him?  And it doesn't appear women are very good at that from the amount of bad man they chose - EVEn including the ones they should have never let get past "Hello".

Start in group B - it's simple.  Just a little advice from a man - who knows men as he is one.  You are perfectly free not to take it.  You choice.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - IslandRa - 07-01-2009 08:44 PM

But if she loves it enough and and keep polishing it and cut the brown spots from it and make sure it is constantly iced.  If she prays hard then perhaps the rotten fruit will become fresh and clean again.

It could happen... Couldn't it?


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Blatant - 07-01-2009 11:00 PM

This thread is hilarious.  I have nothing to contribute that wouldn't start an arguement on both sides.


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 07-02-2009 07:19 AM

Hi Blatant, nice to see you check in!

The issue here is I and the men are trying to get the women to see something that in fact would be beneficial to many of our young women who repeatedly select the wrong men from the wrong bin.  But instead of saying thanks for the heads up - I can see that as a fair point - they would rather fight for I don't even know what or why!  

This is the perfect example of what SOME women choose to do with the men in their lives - fight with them just because they said something - rather it needs to be contested or not - the issue for them is the fact that he said it and he must be challenged for it.

You can see that in full effect right here.  The men are trying to help and make a clear and resonable well laid out point, and SOME women (oh, and one strange man) have chosen to fight this obvious *truism for only God knows why of a reason!


*truism |?tro??iz?m|
noun
a statement that is obviously true and says nothing new or interesting


RE: Ladies Here Is What A good Black Man Looks Like Just In Case Some Of You Don't Know!! - Filmmaker-TimAlexander - 03-25-2010 04:39 AM

Bump!