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Regret is a horrible thing...
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Jlantwhite2011
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Regret is a horrible thing...

This is one reason that a lot of people, who could be precautionary tales on bad choices, are not able to help others coming up.

They can't handle the regret of admitting the things they did and how it impacted their lives in a negative fashion. So, they say nothing.

07-22-2012 09:36 AM
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Jlantwhite2011
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RE: Regret is a horrible thing...

Jlantwhite2011 Wrote:
This is one reason that a lot of people, who could be precautionary tales on bad choices, are not able to help others coming up.

They can't handle the regret of admitting the things they did and how it impacted their lives in a negative fashion. So, they say nothing.


I'm not saying this to justify coddlers or enablers. But I sat here and thought about it and asked myself..

If I were the same age, same financial obligations, and could not land a decent job because of a felony record, sex offender registration, irresponsible tattooing, or a horrible past work record...I can barely imagine the regret of knowing "My life should have and could have been so much more...but I just destroyed it all for a very stupid reason". I would probably lose my mind.

07-22-2012 09:52 AM
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unfoolish1
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RE: Regret is a horrible thing...

Jlantwhite2011 Wrote:

Jlantwhite2011 Wrote:
This is one reason that a lot of people, who could be precautionary tales on bad choices, are not able to help others coming up.

They can't handle the regret of admitting the things they did and how it impacted their lives in a negative fashion. So, they say nothing.


I'm not saying this to justify coddlers or enablers. But I sat here and thought about it and asked myself..

If I were the same age, same financial obligations, and could not land a decent job because of a felony record, sex offender registration, irresponsible tattooing, or a horrible past work record...I can barely imagine the regret of knowing "My life should have and could have been so much more...but I just destroyed it all for a very stupid reason". I would probably lose my mind.


Regret is a normal human emotion, and it reminds us of what we ought have done but did not do. Or what we did but should not have done. Without regret and the accompanying pain from the weight of our poor choices we don't really learn our lesson so it is a necessary part of the healing and growing process.

I've run into people who made mistakes like what you mention, and well at least some of them tell their story as "damn I was stupid, don't do what I did". But like most emotions, after they go thru the phase of regret, as long as they work on a solution, they can get over the regret because they are doing something about it. Sometimes doing something about it takes thinking outside of the box though. Some doors will be closed but you have to look into alternate ways of doing things. It's not necessarally the end of the world. For the examples you mentioned certain contract work (background checks not necessarally done because the companies don't care) is available even to people who did any of that stuff or botched up their work history, or were sick for long periods of time and have trouble getting hired for 9-5's because they have been out of work for so long. These don't have to mean shit jobs either, but usually they are sales related, independent contract, commission pay, 1099 status, no benefits. Pay can be good if you do well though...and you can afford your own insurance, etc.. There's stuff like that out there. It's not turnkey and all set up for you, you'd have to be a go-getter. Like I said people in those situations will have to learn to think outside the box and be willing to learn new skill sets.


Karma has a domino-like effect, always comes full circle. We must LEARN the lesson and be the good example or we will BECOME the lesson and the bad example.
07-22-2012 11:20 AM
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