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Thanksgiving: Thankful for My Husband
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drjomc
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Thanksgiving: Thankful for My Husband

I am Thankful for many things in my life, among which one is having this incredible man as my life partner.

My husband, I will call him "J" is without a doubt a Good Black Man.

Part of what makes him so darn good is his humbleness - he would never proclaim to be a GBM; just one who tries hard to take care of his business.  That is part of what makes him so wonderful, and I'm thankful that he is so non ego-driven.  

J takes his responsibility as leader and protector of our family seriously.  Doors and windows - check.  Smoke alarm batteries - check.  HVAC filter - check.  Vehicle maintenance - check.  I realize it sounds like I'm listing stuff he does for me.  That isn't what I'm grateful for.  I'm thankful that J loves and cares enough to make sure everything involving the safety of our family is in his good hands. I don't EVER have to ask "honey, did X get done?"  If it impacts the well-being of this family, I KNOW it gets done.  He makes sure of it.  

J jogs regularly, keeps fit and yet is not doing so for the sake of his own vanity.  He indicated that his motivation is to remain healthy for the sake of our babies, and for me.  I know its true because he doesn't primp. He runs to "de-stress" like after a disagreement we might have Icon_smile2  While his motive for being fit is selfless, I totally benefit from the results because he is HOT Icon_heartbeat I benefit!  Yes, I'm thankful he cares about his health for OUR sake!

Watching J play with our babies warms my heart!  We played Freeze Frame last night (playing music and freeze when the pause button is hit).  J thinks NOTHING of making himself look foolish if it will elicit a joyous laugh from our children.  The kids worship him!  Daddy can do anything and everything in their eyes.  The only person with more abilities than Daddy is "Grandpa" - mostly because Grandpas are "Dads of Dads!"  I'm thankful that my wonderful husband is such a loving and dedicated father to our babies.

He doesn't always understand the complexities of my career, but he listens patiently while I vent about situations and folks.  I know he finds the work-related socials boring and boycotts all except those which are absolutely neccesary.  But no doubt at all, when I need his support - he is there for me.  I am thankful for a man who is not intimidated by the demands of my career on BOTH of us!

I am the thinker and planner.  For example, I have our household budget planned out to December 2011.  Overkill?  Perhaps.  So I'm thankful for a man who knows how to get me to lighten up!

I'm tall (5'9") and love heels Icon_smile2  So I'm thankful his measure of manhood isn't determined by how much he towers over me - - 'cause when I'm wearing my favorite fuschia stillettos, only NBA players tower over me.

My wonderful husband likes when I dress up, but also doesn't express his displeasure (if he is displeased) when I'm feeling shlepish and wearing sweats.  When I get into hair style ruts.  My hair is quite long (not like Chanin's) but I hate the feeling of it sticking to my neck.  Hence I often wear it up in a hairknot which he refers to as "the giant doorknob on the top of your head." (LOL) I might get question like "when do you plan to get your hair done?"  That's the most critical he'll get about my appearance, but more because he wants me to look good for my OWN sake.  I'm thankful to have a man who can see thru my bad hair and clothes days, and loves me in spite of them!

I am SO THANKFUL that I have the kind of loving, supportive, mutually respectful relationship that too many people don't believe can exist.  Disagreements occur, and we do have differences of opinions.  But there is never ever any doubt in my mind that this man loves me head-to-toe, inside and out and would rather die than to let anything bad happen to me or to our children.

I love him back the same way.  

Thank you J, for showing me, teaching me and living with me all that love could and should be.


Now which one of you NAUGHTY chillin' been messin' wit da SHADOWMAN?!?!
11-25-2009 06:59 PM
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drjomc
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RE: Thanksgiving: Thankful for My Husband

So many threads are about healing bad relationships, what's wrong with BM and BW, etc.
I just wanted to post something more positive - a tribute to a man I love to pieces and to show the sistahs out there - - - Good Black Men exist!  

Well..this one is now taken Icon_smile2


Now which one of you NAUGHTY chillin' been messin' wit da SHADOWMAN?!?!
11-25-2009 07:07 PM
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IslandRa
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RE: Thanksgiving: Thankful for My Husband

Great post...  I pray for that time when many many more of us can post a thread like this.

And I am thankful that few of us can...


They use overinflated and unrealistic standards to reject normal men, but somehow wind up fucking deadbeats, players, thugs and all around assholes.
  -- unfoolish1
11-25-2009 07:08 PM
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winnie2u
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RE: Thanksgiving: Thankful for My Husband

Thanks Doc,
As always an inspiration.

Blessings

11-25-2009 07:20 PM
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Douglamite
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RE: Thanksgiving: Thankful for My Husband

Doc JoIcon_smile2

This is a very positive and inspirational post. I really think that it's a BEAUTIFUL thing when you can share the love that you and your spouse have for one another. Through sharing the positives of life and love as a married woman who shares the same last name of a REAL MAN, you give hope to other females that miracles do happen.

It's not the miracle of finding a good man, but the miracle of having infatuation meet head on with reality and still having enough love between the two of you to get you through this thing called life. It's absolutely fantastic!!!Icon_smile2Icon_smile2Icon_smile2Icon_smile2


drjomc Wrote:
I am Thankful for many things in my life, among which one is having this incredible man as my life partner.

My husband, I will call him "J" is without a doubt a Good Black Man.

Part of what makes him so darn good is his humbleness - he would never proclaim to be a GBM; just one who tries hard to take care of his business.  That is part of what makes him so wonderful, and I'm thankful that he is so non ego-driven.  

J takes his responsibility as leader and protector of our family seriously.  Doors and windows - check.  Smoke alarm batteries - check.  HVAC filter - check.  Vehicle maintenance - check.  I realize it sounds like I'm listing stuff he does for me.  That isn't what I'm grateful for.  I'm thankful that J loves and cares enough to make sure everything involving the safety of our family is in his good hands. I don't EVER have to ask "honey, did X get done?"  If it impacts the well-being of this family, I KNOW it gets done.  He makes sure of it.  

J jogs regularly, keeps fit and yet is not doing so for the sake of his own vanity.  He indicated that his motivation is to remain healthy for the sake of our babies, and for me.  I know its true because he doesn't primp. He runs to "de-stress" like after a disagreement we might have Icon_smile2  While his motive for being fit is selfless, I totally benefit from the results because he is HOT Icon_heartbeat I benefit!  Yes, I'm thankful he cares about his health for OUR sake!

Watching J play with our babies warms my heart!  We played Freeze Frame last night (playing music and freeze when the pause button is hit).  J thinks NOTHING of making himself look foolish if it will elicit a joyous laugh from our children.  The kids worship him!  Daddy can do anything and everything in their eyes.  The only person with more abilities than Daddy is "Grandpa" - mostly because Grandpas are "Dads of Dads!"  I'm thankful that my wonderful husband is such a loving and dedicated father to our babies.

He doesn't always understand the complexities of my career, but he listens patiently while I vent about situations and folks.  I know he finds the work-related socials boring and boycotts all except those which are absolutely neccesary.  But no doubt at all, when I need his support - he is there for me.  I am thankful for a man who is not intimidated by the demands of my career on BOTH of us!

I am the thinker and planner.  For example, I have our household budget planned out to December 2011.  Overkill?  Perhaps.  So I'm thankful for a man who knows how to get me to lighten up!

I'm tall (5'9") and love heels Icon_smile2  So I'm thankful his measure of manhood isn't determined by how much he towers over me - - 'cause when I'm wearing my favorite fuschia stillettos, only NBA players tower over me.

My wonderful husband likes when I dress up, but also doesn't express his displeasure (if he is displeased) when I'm feeling shlepish and wearing sweats.  When I get into hair style ruts.  My hair is quite long (not like Chanin's) but I hate the feeling of it sticking to my neck.  Hence I often wear it up in a hairknot which he refers to as "the giant doorknob on the top of your head." (LOL) I might get question like "when do you plan to get your hair done?"  That's the most critical he'll get about my appearance, but more because he wants me to look good for my OWN sake.  I'm thankful to have a man who can see thru my bad hair and clothes days, and loves me in spite of them!

I am SO THANKFUL that I have the kind of loving, supportive, mutually respectful relationship that too many people don't believe can exist.  Disagreements occur, and we do have differences of opinions.  But there is never ever any doubt in my mind that this man loves me head-to-toe, inside and out and would rather die than to let anything bad happen to me or to our children.

I love him back the same way.  

Thank you J, for showing me, teaching me and living with me all that love could and should be.


Baba often uses others to test your integrity.
11-26-2009 05:25 PM
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WEBBGURL2000
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RE: Thanksgiving: Thankful for My Husband

drjomc Wrote:
So many threads are about healing bad relationships, what's wrong with BM and BW, etc.
I just wanted to post something more positive - a tribute to a man I love to pieces and to show the sistahs out there - - - Good Black Men exist!  

Well..this one is now taken Icon_smile2


So, true. I am also married to a "J," and can't imagine being married to any other man, except a Black Man. He is a good man who just happens to be Black. He works hard and rarely ever complains, he puts me and the kids first, and he will keep things to himself if he feels that they will hurt me. As, I view the drama some women allow themselves to go through, I think that they must really be ill to deal with the men who mistreat them year after year. Sometimes I have felt a little bad at  my good fortune, but I remember that I took a chance with him, and although we have had a few rough patches, It's all good!!Icon_biggrin

12-04-2009 08:50 PM
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