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Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs
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erictbrown1
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Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs
05-21-2010 09:23 AM
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Sam Baron
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RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

(thank you. the link is missing a little bitty "L" at the end. Icon_smile2)

http://blackconsciousthought.blogspot.co...k-men.html


.

[color=purple] [i]"Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right."
— Isaac Asimov[/i][/color]

http://freedomkeys.com/vigil.htm
05-21-2010 10:14 AM
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erictbrown1
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RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

Sam Baron Wrote:
(thank you. the link is missing a little bitty "L" at the end. Icon_smile2)

http://blackconsciousthought.blogspot.co...k-men.html


oppppsss

05-21-2010 10:18 AM
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Douglamite
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RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

You know I think the term "nerd" needs to be re-defined.
Being academically blessed does not equate nerd.

I think SOCIALLY AKWARD is what people really need to say instead of NERD! Socially akward people have a ROUGHT TIME IN LIFE. You know a man has to have "Alpha Male Qualities" to make it in life. I did not say "BE AN ARROGANT JACKASS" HOWEVER, no woman can look up to a man who ALLOWS himself to be stepped over and passed up! I SURELY COULD NOT submit to such a dude.

This article is about THE SOCIALLY AKWARD. For the writer to call someone with emotional problems, insecurity, and no back bone A NERD IS INSULTING!

erictbrown1 Wrote:

Sam Baron Wrote:
(thank you. the link is missing a little bitty "L" at the end. Icon_smile2)

http://blackconsciousthought.blogspot.co...k-men.html


oppppsss


Baba often uses others to test your integrity.
05-21-2010 10:29 AM
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erictbrown1
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RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

Douglamite Wrote:
You know I think the term "nerd" needs to be re-defined.
Being academically blessed does not equate nerd.

I think SOCIALLY AKWARD is what people really need to say instead of NERD! Socially akward people have a ROUGHT TIME IN LIFE. You know a man has to have "Alpha Male Qualities" to make it in life. I did not say "BE AN ARROGANT JACKASS" HOWEVER, no woman can look up to a man who ALLOWS himself to be stepped over and passed up! I SURELY COULD NOT submit to such a dude.

This article is about THE SOCIALLY AKWARD. For the writer to call someone with emotional problems, insecurity, and no back bone A NERD IS INSULTING!

erictbrown1 Wrote:

Sam Baron Wrote:
(thank you. the link is missing a little bitty "L" at the end. Icon_smile2)

http://blackconsciousthought.blogspot.co...k-men.html


oppppsss


Very true, this ladie really rips into black nerds badly

05-21-2010 11:01 AM
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skii
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RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

She made some comments that I completely agree with and have said on this forum before.

Quote:
I would equate this group of individuals with bitter black women. No one…and I do mean no one…wants to be around them. They don’t typically have many friends of either sex. Their presence is toxic and they can annoy the fuck out of anyone.  They are easy enough to recognize. They typically come on my blog spewing the bullshit line, “Young black women only want thugs, hoodlums, and gangbangers.” Random thought—Who the hell still uses the term “gangbangers?”

Have you figured out which group lacks common sense yet?

I want you to think back to the time when you were in high school. In that time was there ever a popular girl (cheerleader, student body president, homecoming queen etc) in a relationship with a nerd/geek? I can honestly say NO! When I was in high school I was student body president and guess what? My boyfriend and high school sweetheart at the time was captain of the football team. As a popular pretty girl I was checking for a popular good-looking boy and vice versa. Why? Because in our high school social hierarchy he was the ALPHA MAN and I was the ALPHA WOMAN.

Julius Caesar could have had any woman he desired (though I believe he was married). Yet he set his sights on Cleopatra, the baddest woman in the land. Cleopatra could have any man she wanted, but she set her sights on the married Julius Caesar, the baddest emperor in the land. What does this tell us? Those at the top don’t usually go for those at the bottom (and it’s been that way for centuries). A nerd is at the bottom. A dime piece (who is at the top) is more than likely not going to go for a nerd. The only way a dime piece would go for a nerd is if he CHANGED his status (with money) or if he transformed from a nerd to man with presence. **Side note—For those of you who don’t know what the term “dime piece” means it is slang for a woman who is a TEN on the attractive measuring scale.

This type of thing should be COMMON SENSE, but a lot of nerdy black men don’t get it! I truly dislike this group of men. They love to blame black women for overlooking them, but refuse to take any responsibility for the reasons why women overlook them. Meanwhile black women like myself who hear their bullshit excuses/deflections sit back and think, “Knee-grow get the hell out of here! Just because I don’t want your anti-social ass doesn’t mean I like thugs.  I had a choice between you and a thug I would choose to be single.” Nerdy black men then turn around and say, “See that’s why we’re moving on to white women” as if anyone actually gives a damn! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I wouldn’t look twice at most (and I do mean most) of the black men I see walking around with white women so it’s no sweat off my back. Now if only white women could make this group of fuckers happy enough to shut the hell up about black women overlooking them.

After they jump the fence to white women they still sit around talking shit about black women. I mean damn…the grass must not be greener on the other side if you’re still pissed about me not giving you the time of day. Do you think I’m losing any sleep over you? I can tell you I’m not. Why not? Because I’m satisfied with my life and my guy! So, why not move on with your life and stop reminding black women that we never wanted you to begin with!



And this right here is nothing but the truth.

Quote:
Why the hell aren’t you pursuing/lusting after nerdy black women (your female counterparts) instead of dime pieces? It doesn’t matter what college you go to in this country. Chances are there are MORE black women walking around that campus than black men.  Chances are a number of those black women are NERDS. Why aren’t nerdy black men beating down their door? Could it be they don’t find their female counterparts as appealing as the dime pieces? I think so. If black nerds won’t date a black female version of themselves how the hell do they figure a dime piece would date them?


I have never dated a nerd, but I don't like thugs either.  I married a very intelligent, educated man but he is also a man with social skills, an attractive appearance and a charismatic personality.  He's not a nerd, he's just a great guy.  Most of the nerdy black women were single all the time too.  Why weren't these nerds chasing that woman down instead of worrying over who the other women are dating.

This is also a good point.

Quote:
My question is why can’t nerdy black men DEVELOP the qualities women like? Women often times change to fit the standards of men, but men rarely do the same. Women are expected to take men, as they are whether they are good-looking, fat, short, or ugly. I’m going to tell black men the same thing I have told black women: If black women are overlooking you I suggest you take a GOOD LONG LOOK in the mirror because nine times out of ten that’s where the problem starts.

Most of the people that I hear complaining about being passed over for thugs are unattractive.  

And at risk of cutting and pasting every single word from this blog I have to mention that this the 100% truth.

Quote:
Nerdy black men tend to have a warped view of other black men. When pointing out the men black women supposedly choose over them they often point to thugs, hoodlums, and gangbangers as if these are the only examples of “other” black men. In their eyes if you’re a black man you are either an overlooked nerd/geek or a popular thug/hoodlum/gangbanger. There is no middle ground. Black men who find themselves in college but who are NOT nerds/social pariahs don’t exist with this group. Black men who don’t have a college education, but are good productive men don’t exist with this group. Black men who work blue collar jobs and who are good people don’t exist with this group. Black men who didn’t attend college, but still own businesses don’t exist with this group. No, with black nerds it’s either them or thugs. Because black women are not choosing them then we must all be choosing thugs…FALSE!


Most black men are not going to college, but they aren't necessarily thugs either. The conversation tends to ignore the middle ground, and focuses only on the few women who date thugs instead of the many women who just don't want nerds.  

The blogger gets a standing ovation, a church fan wave and an AMEN from me.


[quote=IndependentBlackman]
It is sad when a white man in drag is sexier than black women. [/quote]

:lol:
05-21-2010 01:56 PM
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IslandRa
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RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

Douglamite Wrote:
You know I think the term "nerd" needs to be re-defined.
Being academically blessed does not equate nerd.

I think SOCIALLY AKWARD is what people really need to say instead of NERD! Socially akward people have a ROUGHT TIME IN LIFE. You know a man has to have "Alpha Male Qualities" to make it in life. I did not say "BE AN ARROGANT JACKASS" HOWEVER, no woman can look up to a man who ALLOWS himself to be stepped over and passed up! I SURELY COULD NOT submit to such a dude.

This article is about THE SOCIALLY AKWARD. For the writer to call someone with emotional problems, insecurity, and no back bone A NERD IS INSULTING!

erictbrown1 Wrote:

Sam Baron Wrote:
(thank you. the link is missing a little bitty "L" at the end. Icon_smile2)

http://blackconsciousthought.blogspot.co...k-men.html


oppppsss


LOL...  I agree and,  as a smart man who has never had a problem getting a girlfriend or finding a date, I must chime in on this.

I am a software engineer.  I work in an office where the average IQ is about 160 to 170.

Everyone in this office is a nerd, in the general sense, egghead, poindexter etc... and a few are also former Marine captains.

Some are very meek, quiet and socially awkward but many are animated, vocal, adventurous and fun.

About seven of us, last year, went on a majorly dangerous hike called the "commando trail", we kept on our underwear, yes.  This hike involved a two mile walk up a fairly rough flowing stream.  A climb up fifteen feet of rock.  Another climb up a twenty-five foot water fall, in a cave, with only a waterproof flashlight for aid. And then a cliff dive or jump from two consecutive waterfalls will get you back down to the bottom.  I was never more proud of the fearless grit and sense of honor these guys had.  I thought I was dead at least twice during that adventure.  And a few months later, another man did die on that same hike.

The key here is: Alpha is relative.  I know a couple of gang bangers from back in the day who would consider us just straight out crazy as f*ck.

These men also have some beautiful girlfriends and wives.

Our problem, that is, the problem in the black community is that people that are considered smart and driven, to other races and cultures, are considered lame in ours.

This was  not the case in times past and we can begin the slow return to this in the future, if we tried.

Socially awkward people are not prevalent in the high IQ society but, like every other phenomena, they have been stereotyped by average Joe and Joan.  They exist, yes, but not in such tremendous supply as one is lead to believe.

There are some geniuses who are a little autistic and, because of this, are not very astute socially or are even agoraphobic but they represent .5% or less of the population.

I submit that this blog is just another attempt to excuse most women for being short sighted and narrow minded.  If you do not like the smart black man who does not ascribe to your hip/hop tastes, then do not come back ten years later and try to make him your husband after you become tired of the bad boy drama.

If you do come back, then be prepared to be treated like an option and not a prize.

Also, in other cultures, the women come to their senses by the time they hit college and start to think more about landing the man who will be a mover and shaker and who can provide for her or, at least, be her equal in the future.

Black women seem to want it all right now.  They have no sense of the growth process like other women do.  Some not all...  They either want the flashy dude that has made it or they want to volatile, toxic   dude that can provide nothing but adrenalin rush.

Sad... short sighted... girls....


They use overinflated and unrealistic standards to reject normal men, but somehow wind up fucking deadbeats, players, thugs and all around assholes.
  -- unfoolish1
05-21-2010 03:05 PM
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norbit
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RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

Nerds are smart enough to learn some social skills.  It's either fear or disinterest.  Blame yourselves.

05-21-2010 04:14 PM
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khaynes
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RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

I agree with the point that some guys with social/ mental flaws sometimes claim that they are "nice guys" and claim that women don't want them because they are "nice," which is denial of reality.

But, the one thing that the author seems to be overlooking is that many guys get angry/ annoyed when a woman gets mistreated by her choice in men and she complains that there are no good men out there (as has been emphasized several times by many of the TBM posters).

The women who pick certain men and end up happy aren't the subject of most of the complaining. Her rant might be a little misdirected, but I agree with some of the points.


The tired black man's cause is bolstered by genuine stories and real personal accounts. Exaggerations, extremism, actors, and trolls only weaken it.
05-21-2010 08:48 PM
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skii
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RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

khaynes Wrote:
I agree with the point that some guys with social/ mental flaws sometimes claim that they are "nice guys" and claim that women don't want them because they are "nice," which is denial of reality.

But, the one thing that the author seems to be overlooking is that many guys get angry/ annoyed when a woman gets mistreated by her choice in men and she complains that there are no good men out there (as has been emphasized several times by many of the TBM posters).

The women who pick certain men and end up happy aren't the subject of most of the complaining. Her rant might be a little misdirected, but I agree with some of the points.


Based on the many thug threads that I've read on this forum the men here are more upset about thugs being "rewarded" with sex and women not motivating black men to college with their relationships/sex.  There's also a lot of talk about how black nerds refuse to date any black women when they become successful because some black women ignored them back in the day.  Or at least they spend more time talking about that than they spend talking about the "there no good black men" comments from women who were mistreated.  

I think that men who mistreat women come in all types, from nerds to thugs and everyone in between. Being mistreated by a man doesn't mean that you picked a thug or a bad boy.   If a woman dates a guy that mistreats her and complains about there being no good men out there, then she is obviously exaggerating.  But those people doing the loudest complaining about her choice, and her complaints aren't the good men.  Attractive, intelligent, charismatic men with good social skills do not have trouble attracting women and they are probably too busy with the woman in their life to complain about other people's choices.


[quote=IndependentBlackman]
It is sad when a white man in drag is sexier than black women. [/quote]

:lol:
05-21-2010 10:50 PM
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Sam Baron
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RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

I agree with her on most of her points. Be honest with yourself on what you should be pulling. "If you believe, you can achieve" is good grades K thru 10. After that you should be able to see where you REALLY stand. Life isnt always fair OR guaranteed. Thats what she would call the white nerd's realistic approach to life. Yep, I tend to agree.


Outside of her acidic ego, there's some problem areas with the writeup. In part 2 of that HERE, she starts to become unraveled. Then she's REALLY starts reaching for conclusions. Should have quit while she was ahead. Though she says upfront she's not trying to make friends, who's gonna take her seriously when she spouts in a comment

Quote:
I'm still correcting a few typos in this article....

Also, I want to add that from what I can tell most black women I know who did marry black men ended up with the middle man...not the thug...and not the nerd. Only a dumbass would use the bullshit they see over the internet and on dateline to judge ALL black women.

This will be my last time addressing these morons.

Be mine.

Then when talking about this humorous picture , she wrote

Quote:
I pulled this piece of PROPAGANDA off one of the message boards linking my post (FYI—you idiots on that board need to pick up hooked on phonics because I have never seen so many illiterate motherfuckers in one spot…just pitiful and this is the group calling themselves nerds???…Damn the public school system!)

More name calling. Then she tries to invalidate the pic by saying it doesnt represent a REAL thug, cuz a real thug dresses fly and they drew the thug too bummy (?) And thats cuz nerds have a warped view of other black men. Like if they drew him in a fitted hat and polo shirt, it'da been a "realer" representation. Thats a reach for an invalidator if I've ever seen it.

And shortly after she mentions being illiterate, in reference to a video she posted

Quote:
I’m going to tell you right off the back I wrote your video off as complete bullshit and here is why…

The statements in bold are your paraphrased words…

For those unfamilar, the saying is "right off the bat". After you tore down other people's grammar, doing that doesnt look too good....


THEN she starts contradicting herself. After she said no matter what a nerd does that she wont ever check him out later down the road, she responds to this question

Quote:
“The white man who goes back and picks up the chick who wasn’t checking for him before is a sucka.”

I disagree completely. Nerdy white men are smart enough to view those individuals who rejected them as INDIVIDUALS instead of looking at them as a collective.

So white nerds are doing the smart sensible way. But black nerds develop themselves wrong, to women who wouldnt want them anyway. So she's saying white people are flexible and black people just go off pride.

Anyways I'm not trying to invalidate her points because I agree with most of them. Though the direct name calling and caustic attitude makes me nauseous.


.

[color=purple] [i]"Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right."
— Isaac Asimov[/i][/color]

http://freedomkeys.com/vigil.htm
05-21-2010 11:06 PM
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khaynes
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Post: #12
RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

skii Wrote:
Based on the many thug threads that I've read on this forum the men here are more upset about thugs being "rewarded" with sex and women not motivating black men to college with their relationships/sex.  There's also a lot of talk about how black nerds refuse to date any black women when they become successful because some black women ignored them back in the day.  Or at least they spend more time talking about that than they spend talking about the "there no good black men" comments from women who were mistreated.  

I think that men who mistreat women come in all types, from nerds to thugs and everyone in between. Being mistreated by a man doesn't mean that you picked a thug or a bad boy.   If a woman dates a guy that mistreats her and complains about there being no good men out there, then she is obviously exaggerating.  But those people doing the loudest complaining about her choice, and her complaints aren't the good men.  Attractive, intelligent, charismatic men with good social skills do not have trouble attracting women and they are probably too busy with the woman in their life to complain about other people's choices.


I feel most of your points, but I think the final one is a little bit exaggerated. There are some desirable men out there, single and not, who just have an overall concern with where our community is going. They witness their friends, brothers, cousins, etc. being victims of the craziness. So, they're not always going to live in an insular manner.

In agreement with your first point, I tend to give the retribution comments the side-eye. One minute I'll read that women should stop letting past hurts influence how they view and treat other men, and the next minute I read comments suggesting that guys snubbing the *type* of women who used to snub them is natural and maybe even justifiable.


The tired black man's cause is bolstered by genuine stories and real personal accounts. Exaggerations, extremism, actors, and trolls only weaken it.
05-21-2010 11:28 PM
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Sam Baron
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Post: #13
RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

I should add that fugly, overweight women do much of the same thing. How they say the nerdy guy tries to come off as "nice" though he's really socially awkward, the socially awkward woman tries to come of as "demure" and "patient". Its cuz guys value physicality over personality than it can be overlooked, but it doesnt ALWAYS get overlooked.

I'd venture to guess the "Choice Mom" demographic is composed of many of this type. A compatible man "eluded" them. Sure...

I say all the time women dont want A man, they want THE man. The knight in shining armour thing doesn't apply much to men.

As I mentioned in another thread, lets be honest - people dont want to be told they look fat in a dress, or told they have bad body odor. And these will be the people complaining the most.

I know I'm not successful in dating cuz I dont even apply myself to it. And when I do I lack charisma, plus money. Thats the Triple Stink of Death, but lying about it just makes it worse.  I'm not with that capitalist system mindset of if you didnt win you're a loser. There's so many conditions in between that factor in. But the people who are at the bottom of the dating chain should at least be honest with why they're at the bottom is all.


.

[color=purple] [i]"Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right."
— Isaac Asimov[/i][/color]

http://freedomkeys.com/vigil.htm
05-21-2010 11:31 PM
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skii
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Post: #14
RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

I'll have to go and read  part 2.  I've seen quite a few black men on this forum say that many black men won't date any black women now because when they were in high school black women didn't date them.   Sam- maybe this attitude is what she was talking about when she said "nerdy white men are smart enough to view individuals who rejected them as individuals".  

skii Wrote:
So did we figure out who won the Suffering Olympics yet?  What's the prize for suffering the most?  Icon_rolleyes Black men and black women both face racism.  There are some similarities and some gender specific racism that impacts each group.  

Some black men blame racism for dating outside their race or they blame black girls not liking them when they were younger for it. Both excuses are ridiculous.  Imagine a nerdy white guy saying that he won't date any white women because when he was younger the white women at his high school didn't like him.  Icon_lol  

I could understand saying that I won't date Janice at 30 because when we were 20 she picked on me and I think that she only wants me for my money now.  But refusing to date every woman that shares Janice's skin color at 30 is ridiculous.  These men either want to date outside of their race and feel that they need an excuse or have some kind of weird racist self hatred issue that causes them to blame their problems on brown skin.  Either way those kinds of people are fools.


[quote=IndependentBlackman]
It is sad when a white man in drag is sexier than black women. [/quote]

:lol:
05-21-2010 11:35 PM
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skii
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Post: #15
RE: Why nerdy black men can't find happienss.  You got to see this bs

khaynes Wrote:

skii Wrote:
Based on the many thug threads that I've read on this forum the men here are more upset about thugs being "rewarded" with sex and women not motivating black men to college with their relationships/sex.  There's also a lot of talk about how black nerds refuse to date any black women when they become successful because some black women ignored them back in the day.  Or at least they spend more time talking about that than they spend talking about the "there no good black men" comments from women who were mistreated.  

I think that men who mistreat women come in all types, from nerds to thugs and everyone in between. Being mistreated by a man doesn't mean that you picked a thug or a bad boy.   If a woman dates a guy that mistreats her and complains about there being no good men out there, then she is obviously exaggerating.  But those people doing the loudest complaining about her choice, and her complaints aren't the good men.  Attractive, intelligent, charismatic men with good social skills do not have trouble attracting women and they are probably too busy with the woman in their life to complain about other people's choices.


I feel most of your points, but I think the final one is a little bit exaggerated. There are some desirable men out there, single and not, who just have an overall concern with where our community is going. They witness their friends, brothers, cousins, etc. being victims of the craziness. So, they're not always going to live in an insular manner.

In agreement with your first point, I tend to give the retribution comments the side-eye. One minute I'll read that women should stop letting past hurts influence how they view and treat other men, and the next minute I read comments suggesting that guys snubbing the *type* of women who used to snub them is natural and maybe even justifiable.


A concern for where our community is going does not lead to the kind of bitter and hateful comments about black women and their love of thugs that I've been hearing.  Maybe some of them are concerned and nerdy.  Icon_lol And cosign on your last point.


[quote=IndependentBlackman]
It is sad when a white man in drag is sexier than black women. [/quote]

:lol:
05-21-2010 11:38 PM
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