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		<title><![CDATA[Diary of a Tired Black Man - The Movie - All Forums]]></title>
		<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/</link>
		<description>Diary of a Tired Black Man - The Movie - http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums</description>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:32:56 -0500</pubDate>
		<generator>MyBB</generator>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Question for the men]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7239</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:35:36 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7239</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[I have always wondered what would be the best environment to meet intelligent men.  When I was single I could never meet any nice guys.  It seemed as if the guys with the pickup lines, gold teeth, and baby mama drama always approached me.  

I don't dress provactively, have been told I speak well, and am well versed.  Looking to help my many single friends and have no answers.  I met my husband through a friend.  So what knowlede can I drop on my fellow girlfriends that are still single?]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[I have always wondered what would be the best environment to meet intelligent men.  When I was single I could never meet any nice guys.  It seemed as if the guys with the pickup lines, gold teeth, and baby mama drama always approached me.  

I don't dress provactively, have been told I speak well, and am well versed.  Looking to help my many single friends and have no answers.  I met my husband through a friend.  So what knowlede can I drop on my fellow girlfriends that are still single?]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[WHat Makes a Man Fly 4000 miles to kill his ex?]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7238</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 09 Mar 2010 11:09:18 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7238</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Jealous lover flew 4,000 miles to stab ex-girlfriend to death after seeing her on Facebook with another man



A Facebook stalker was jailed for at least 22 years today for killing his ex-girlfriend after seeing her on social networking site with another man.

An Old Bailey jury took only an hour to convict Paul Bristol, 25, of murder.

Camille Mathurasingh, 27, died less than two weeks after Bristol saw her with new love Besim Haxhia.

Bristol got on a plane and flew 4,000 miles from Trinidad to England to challenge her.

He stabbed the accountant 20 times at her home in Bow, east London, before cutting himself and crashing her car last April.

Bristol, an IT technician for the Trinidad and Tobago Ministry of Administration, had denied murder, claiming manslaughter through provocation.

Judge Timothy Pontius told Bristol: 'Clearly you were eaten up by jealousy.'

Judge Pontius said Miss Mathurasingh had fought 'frantically and desperately for her life'.

She had done nothing to provoke Bristol but was clearly someone 'who would not want in any way to hurt his feelings and was very concerned to let him down gently'.

The judge said that having found out about her new relationship, he could not accept that she was not only working thousands of miles away, but that she had moved on in her life.

Judge Pontius added: 'You could not accept that the life you had previously had gone.

'You were determined that no other man should replace you in her life.

'You attacked her with such repeated savagery and horrifying ferocity that it was your intention to kill her.'

He said he rejected claims that Bristol had genuinely tried to commit suicide after the murder.

'Camille Mathurasingh was a highly intelligent and ambitious young woman - beautiful and vivacious, caring and loving,' he told the court.

'Her death has left a huge and permanent void in the lives of a truly decent family.'

Miss Mathurasingh's mother and two of her sisters held hands at the side of the court as Bristol was led away.

The trial heard that the day before she died, Miss Mathurasingh phoned her sister Nadine to say Bristol had arrived from Trinidad and she had been forced to flee the house.





http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...ailed.html]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Jealous lover flew 4,000 miles to stab ex-girlfriend to death after seeing her on Facebook with another man



A Facebook stalker was jailed for at least 22 years today for killing his ex-girlfriend after seeing her on social networking site with another man.

An Old Bailey jury took only an hour to convict Paul Bristol, 25, of murder.

Camille Mathurasingh, 27, died less than two weeks after Bristol saw her with new love Besim Haxhia.

Bristol got on a plane and flew 4,000 miles from Trinidad to England to challenge her.

He stabbed the accountant 20 times at her home in Bow, east London, before cutting himself and crashing her car last April.

Bristol, an IT technician for the Trinidad and Tobago Ministry of Administration, had denied murder, claiming manslaughter through provocation.

Judge Timothy Pontius told Bristol: 'Clearly you were eaten up by jealousy.'

Judge Pontius said Miss Mathurasingh had fought 'frantically and desperately for her life'.

She had done nothing to provoke Bristol but was clearly someone 'who would not want in any way to hurt his feelings and was very concerned to let him down gently'.

The judge said that having found out about her new relationship, he could not accept that she was not only working thousands of miles away, but that she had moved on in her life.

Judge Pontius added: 'You could not accept that the life you had previously had gone.

'You were determined that no other man should replace you in her life.

'You attacked her with such repeated savagery and horrifying ferocity that it was your intention to kill her.'

He said he rejected claims that Bristol had genuinely tried to commit suicide after the murder.

'Camille Mathurasingh was a highly intelligent and ambitious young woman - beautiful and vivacious, caring and loving,' he told the court.

'Her death has left a huge and permanent void in the lives of a truly decent family.'

Miss Mathurasingh's mother and two of her sisters held hands at the side of the court as Bristol was led away.

The trial heard that the day before she died, Miss Mathurasingh phoned her sister Nadine to say Bristol had arrived from Trinidad and she had been forced to flee the house.





http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...ailed.html]]></content:encoded>
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			<title><![CDATA[And Now For The Word...]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7237</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 09 Mar 2010 11:06:01 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7237</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[From the mouth of a child, God please make more like him.

]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[From the mouth of a child, God please make more like him.

]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Why Man Don't Fight for Equal Rights - An Essay on Male Equality]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7236</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 09 Mar 2010 08:04:03 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7236</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[A very interesting read about the "New Inequality" that exist between men and women today.

Click this link...
http://franklludwig.com/equality.html]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[A very interesting read about the "New Inequality" that exist between men and women today.

Click this link...
http://franklludwig.com/equality.html]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[There's Got To Be More People Who See This...]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7235</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 09 Mar 2010 07:47:59 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7235</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[I have to ask myself, “There can’t be only a few people who see this…”

I am talking about the movie “Precious” and Monique’s recognition at the Oscars.  I’m not trying to take anything from Monique’s acting ability.  What’s funny is that Monique referred to Hattie McDaniel in her acceptance speech, the first black woman given Oscar recognition for the portrayal of a stereotypical black role.  The women are just eating it up and some of the mangina males too.  Only one black woman I know said to me, “I don’t see what the big deal is.”  To quote Tariq Nasheed, “Movies like this aren’t even made for black people, they are made for white people.”  This is the kind of stereotypical stuff they LOVE to see black people doing.  I don’t hear any voices in the media saying anything similar to this at all, especially black media, but I guess that’s a given since black media has already been co-op’ed.
  
At this moment, I can only think of one black person recognized with an Oscar for a non-stereotypical role, Louis Gossett Jr, for his role as the Drill Instructor in “An Officer and a Gentlemen”.  As a matter of fact, it was anti-stereotypical because he was lording over white men in a position of authority.

What do you think?]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[I have to ask myself, “There can’t be only a few people who see this…”

I am talking about the movie “Precious” and Monique’s recognition at the Oscars.  I’m not trying to take anything from Monique’s acting ability.  What’s funny is that Monique referred to Hattie McDaniel in her acceptance speech, the first black woman given Oscar recognition for the portrayal of a stereotypical black role.  The women are just eating it up and some of the mangina males too.  Only one black woman I know said to me, “I don’t see what the big deal is.”  To quote Tariq Nasheed, “Movies like this aren’t even made for black people, they are made for white people.”  This is the kind of stereotypical stuff they LOVE to see black people doing.  I don’t hear any voices in the media saying anything similar to this at all, especially black media, but I guess that’s a given since black media has already been co-op’ed.
  
At this moment, I can only think of one black person recognized with an Oscar for a non-stereotypical role, Louis Gossett Jr, for his role as the Drill Instructor in “An Officer and a Gentlemen”.  As a matter of fact, it was anti-stereotypical because he was lording over white men in a position of authority.

What do you think?]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[If this was a man and the student was a 15 year old girl, he would have been fired.]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7234</link>
			<pubDate>Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:22:54 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7234</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[
Teens and tweens have come under fire for 'sexting'--sending sexually explicit photos of themselves via text message--but an incident at a New Hampshire high school suggests teachers may need a warning, too.

Forty-one-year-old Melinday Dennehy, an English teacher at Londonderry High School, sent 'four sexy shots of herself,' with her 'genitals exposed,' to her 15-year-old male student, according to police. The sophomore told police that Dennehy texted him detailing sexual acts she wanted to perform with him.

The student who received the photos allegedly forwarded them to his friends. Police investigators who obtained the images were able to identify Dennehy with the help of her coworker.

CBS News adds,

    The teen told police that Dennehy had "continuously sent him text messages," some of which were sexually explicit. He also claimed that she "kissed him twice on two separate occasions" in a classroom at school.

Dennehy, mother of two, has been released on bail and is currently on 'administrative leave with pay,' according to a post by Associated Content. She was charged with a felony count of indecent exposure.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[
Teens and tweens have come under fire for 'sexting'--sending sexually explicit photos of themselves via text message--but an incident at a New Hampshire high school suggests teachers may need a warning, too.

Forty-one-year-old Melinday Dennehy, an English teacher at Londonderry High School, sent 'four sexy shots of herself,' with her 'genitals exposed,' to her 15-year-old male student, according to police. The sophomore told police that Dennehy texted him detailing sexual acts she wanted to perform with him.

The student who received the photos allegedly forwarded them to his friends. Police investigators who obtained the images were able to identify Dennehy with the help of her coworker.

CBS News adds,

    The teen told police that Dennehy had "continuously sent him text messages," some of which were sexually explicit. He also claimed that she "kissed him twice on two separate occasions" in a classroom at school.

Dennehy, mother of two, has been released on bail and is currently on 'administrative leave with pay,' according to a post by Associated Content. She was charged with a felony count of indecent exposure.]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ladies, you are the gate keepers!!!]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7231</link>
			<pubDate>Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:18:37 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7231</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[let me apologize in advance because this may offend some.....

as i see it...ladies, you are the gate keepers!!!
                                                                     period! 
a wise old woman once told me that when you stick your hand out to point your finger at someone, that  there are three more fingers on that hand pointing back at you!
we (men) do what you allow us to get away with.
outside of rape. losers cannot get you pregnant unless you allow them to.! some of these dudes should not be allowed to sire children. if a guy beats your ass. my sympathy is only with you that 1st time. any subsequent ass whoopin is your fault...let me explain that...you need to get the hell outta dodge. an old boyfriend hit my sister...... once! he ended up suffering multiple stab wounds. needless to say he never hit her again!
if you like a guy but only hear from him at 2 am when he's horny, drunk and just left the club with his boys.. but you continue to let him smash....who's the problem here. i see mostly women compromise what they believe all of the time and "settle" so that they are not alone.

if women made a united effort across racial and cultural lines to not let pop culture define what is sexy....that is, if the beyonce's, rhiaana's, myley cyrus's, nikki minaj's and every other talentless young  starlet, just said "ENOUGH! this is not sexy, this is not how men should view us." what a true revolution that could be for the modern family. but women will cut each others throat if you think it'll give you an advantage with men. ya'll define what is sexy, we'll f##K with you regardless! we always have.
we guys especially young ones tend to like whatever is thrown in our face all day everyday. hell i can't escape it. it's hard to not to like a fat ass and tight jeans when the media is shoving hyper sexuality in our faces everyday! 

women you are far more powerful than you could possibly fathom. wars fought, nations reduced to ruin. 
the "pussy power" of the 1960's got young thugs off the corners and into the black power movement
Hell, the only reason i decided to go to college, was because of all of the women i saw going. human females are the most powerful creatures on earth......
the problem is ya'll use those powers for evil (ie..financial gain, male manipulation, or some other self serving agenda.) but then your scheme backfires and men then become the villains in your little soap opera.

i had so much more to say but i'm hungry..i'm gonna go grab some breakfast...that's my rant for today.. 
peace ya'll]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[let me apologize in advance because this may offend some.....

as i see it...ladies, you are the gate keepers!!!
                                                                     period! 
a wise old woman once told me that when you stick your hand out to point your finger at someone, that  there are three more fingers on that hand pointing back at you!
we (men) do what you allow us to get away with.
outside of rape. losers cannot get you pregnant unless you allow them to.! some of these dudes should not be allowed to sire children. if a guy beats your ass. my sympathy is only with you that 1st time. any subsequent ass whoopin is your fault...let me explain that...you need to get the hell outta dodge. an old boyfriend hit my sister...... once! he ended up suffering multiple stab wounds. needless to say he never hit her again!
if you like a guy but only hear from him at 2 am when he's horny, drunk and just left the club with his boys.. but you continue to let him smash....who's the problem here. i see mostly women compromise what they believe all of the time and "settle" so that they are not alone.

if women made a united effort across racial and cultural lines to not let pop culture define what is sexy....that is, if the beyonce's, rhiaana's, myley cyrus's, nikki minaj's and every other talentless young  starlet, just said "ENOUGH! this is not sexy, this is not how men should view us." what a true revolution that could be for the modern family. but women will cut each others throat if you think it'll give you an advantage with men. ya'll define what is sexy, we'll f##K with you regardless! we always have.
we guys especially young ones tend to like whatever is thrown in our face all day everyday. hell i can't escape it. it's hard to not to like a fat ass and tight jeans when the media is shoving hyper sexuality in our faces everyday! 

women you are far more powerful than you could possibly fathom. wars fought, nations reduced to ruin. 
the "pussy power" of the 1960's got young thugs off the corners and into the black power movement
Hell, the only reason i decided to go to college, was because of all of the women i saw going. human females are the most powerful creatures on earth......
the problem is ya'll use those powers for evil (ie..financial gain, male manipulation, or some other self serving agenda.) but then your scheme backfires and men then become the villains in your little soap opera.

i had so much more to say but i'm hungry..i'm gonna go grab some breakfast...that's my rant for today.. 
peace ya'll]]></content:encoded>
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			<title><![CDATA[Everybody hates Chris]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7229</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 07 Mar 2010 22:32:06 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7229</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Would most black women view the character Terry Crews plays on Everybody hates Chris as a good black man?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

I think Chris's father works at least 2 jobs at a time then comes home to basicly be emasculated and also&nbsp;&nbsp;emotional punching bag on the show for his wife.&nbsp;&nbsp;She speaks to him just like on of the kids and never shows any affection or respect towards Julius.&nbsp;&nbsp;Just because he can take the abuse, does that make him a strong black man?&nbsp;&nbsp;Would it be wrong if he cheated and would he be justifed.

Betty Wright said it best

A clean up woman
Is a woman who
Gets all the love we girls leave behind
The reason I know
So much about her
Is because she picked up a man of mine

Chumpin' Slick
Was my ruin
'Cause I found out all I was doin'
Was makin' it easy
For the clean up woman
To get my man's love, oh, yeah

Just makin' it easy
For the clean up woman
To get my baby's love, uh-huh

Mmm-hmm

I took this man's love and put it on a shelf
And like a fool, I thought I had him all to myself
When he needed love, I was out havin' fun
But I found out all I had done
Was made it easy
For the clean up woman
To get my man's love, uh-huh
Yeah, that's what I did
I made it easy
For the clean up woman
To steal my baby's love, oh, yeah

The clean up woman
Will wipe his blues away
She'll give him penny lovin'
24 hours a day
The clean up woman
She'll sweep him off his feet
She's the one to take him in
When you dump him in the street
So take a tip
You better get hip
To the clean up woman
'Cause she's tough
I mean she really cleans up]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Would most black women view the character Terry Crews plays on Everybody hates Chris as a good black man?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

I think Chris's father works at least 2 jobs at a time then comes home to basicly be emasculated and also&nbsp;&nbsp;emotional punching bag on the show for his wife.&nbsp;&nbsp;She speaks to him just like on of the kids and never shows any affection or respect towards Julius.&nbsp;&nbsp;Just because he can take the abuse, does that make him a strong black man?&nbsp;&nbsp;Would it be wrong if he cheated and would he be justifed.

Betty Wright said it best

A clean up woman
Is a woman who
Gets all the love we girls leave behind
The reason I know
So much about her
Is because she picked up a man of mine

Chumpin' Slick
Was my ruin
'Cause I found out all I was doin'
Was makin' it easy
For the clean up woman
To get my man's love, oh, yeah

Just makin' it easy
For the clean up woman
To get my baby's love, uh-huh

Mmm-hmm

I took this man's love and put it on a shelf
And like a fool, I thought I had him all to myself
When he needed love, I was out havin' fun
But I found out all I had done
Was made it easy
For the clean up woman
To get my man's love, uh-huh
Yeah, that's what I did
I made it easy
For the clean up woman
To steal my baby's love, oh, yeah

The clean up woman
Will wipe his blues away
She'll give him penny lovin'
24 hours a day
The clean up woman
She'll sweep him off his feet
She's the one to take him in
When you dump him in the street
So take a tip
You better get hip
To the clean up woman
'Cause she's tough
I mean she really cleans up]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Can you cooperate with him?]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7228</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 07 Mar 2010 21:19:21 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7228</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[That is my question for the ladies who are also mothers... married and single...

Can YOU cooperate with HIM? 

and the answer is YES YOU CAN.&nbsp;&nbsp;

Let me explain:&nbsp;&nbsp;Today I called my daughter's father over becasue we had an issue to deal with.&nbsp;&nbsp;Our 3 year old daughter has the problem of throwing fits everytime it's time to leave some place fun that we have taken her.&nbsp;&nbsp;She does it with him, she does it with me and we felt it was time to correct the issue.&nbsp;&nbsp;

We had a short and direct discussion with her.&nbsp;&nbsp;She heard from both of us that if she cries when we are leaving somewhere 2 things will result: 
1st she will get a spanking and be put on her knees when we arrive at home. 
2nd she will not be allowed to go back to that "fun" place again. 

So she was clear and she knew we were united behind this.&nbsp;&nbsp;I tested the effectiveness by taking her to one of her favorite places, the bookstore.&nbsp;&nbsp;Everytime I've taken her, as we leave she is screaming and saying NOOOOOOOOO.&nbsp;&nbsp;But this time was different...

as we approached the doors I asked her "What are you not allowed to do when we leave?"
She repled "No crying." 
"What happens if you cry when I say it is time to leave?" 
"a spanking" 
and i completed it with "yes a spanking and we won't come back to the bookstore... so nooooo..."
"crying" 

We had fun and I did a little work.&nbsp;&nbsp;We read 2 stories.&nbsp;&nbsp;She played and made 2 new friends.&nbsp;&nbsp;Then I announced.&nbsp;&nbsp;"OK pumpkin lets pick up our mess... and remember, when it's time to go nooooo???"
"no crying" she finished for me. 
We left that place with no tears, no whining, no nothing but a beautiful smile on her face as I reminded her that her daddy and I are sooooo proud of her for being so mature and not crying.&nbsp;&nbsp;

Soi... what is my point with this story??? 

Her father and I have been through hell and high water... ups and downs... a hell of a lot more downs in the last year of our relationship... today we still have a hard time getting along.&nbsp;&nbsp;We are not together and we still disagree HEATEDLY very often... 
HOWEVER, when it comes to the discipline and training of our child I understand one thing... it is best for the future success of my child that he and I work TOGETHER. It doesn't matter what happened in our past.&nbsp;&nbsp;It doesn't matter whether or not we are together.&nbsp;&nbsp;We don't even have to like each other.&nbsp;&nbsp; 
BUT WHAT WE DO HAVE TO DO IS... Respect each other to the fullest.&nbsp;&nbsp;No bad mouthing each other in her ear shot, no contradicting each other's decisions, and agreeing to be present together for situations such as this.&nbsp;&nbsp;

There is no substitute for the role a father plays.&nbsp;&nbsp;It's like kids are born with an innate respectfulf fear of the man who made them.&nbsp;&nbsp;I'm sure it's due to the masculine strength and that booming voice and the "I do not play" demeanor that men have.&nbsp;&nbsp;And if you want a well behaved child, then make it easy on yourself, work with their dad... work WITH... u r not the boss.&nbsp;&nbsp;Let him do his thing with the kids. Thank him everytime he talks to them.&nbsp;&nbsp;When he wants to see them, tell him yes.&nbsp;&nbsp;When he wants to talk to them, tell him yes.&nbsp;&nbsp;Make it EASY for him to be a part of their lives. 
Too many ladies take advantage of every time the father comes around or calls to make him uncomfortable.&nbsp;&nbsp;and it's usually the same story "well he hurt me" "he did me wrong" "he doesnt do enough, so he deserves what I give to him."&nbsp;&nbsp;
but did u hear the pronouns you were using??? He and Me.... It's not about the two of you.&nbsp;&nbsp;It's about THEM. 
T H E M.&nbsp;&nbsp;THEM.&nbsp;&nbsp;the children.&nbsp;&nbsp;

so if you want to have an easier time with your children make him comfortable for him to interact with them.&nbsp;&nbsp;call him right now and make&nbsp;&nbsp;PEACE OFFERING. Explain that you know you haven't made it easy on him but now you want to set whatever is bad between yall aside and do what is best for the children.&nbsp;&nbsp;tell him that no matter what (and i mean no matter what) you will allow him to talk to and see the children.&nbsp;&nbsp;

And furthermore, anytime he calls or comes by you will NOT BRING UP ANY DISAGREEMENTS.&nbsp;&nbsp;you will agree to be polite and that you hope this will lead to better things for the children.

Tell him that and watch how much EVERYTHING improves.&nbsp;&nbsp;

Just try it.&nbsp;&nbsp;I dare you.&nbsp;&nbsp;:-)&nbsp;&nbsp;

Peace and Wisdom

QB.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[That is my question for the ladies who are also mothers... married and single...

Can YOU cooperate with HIM? 

and the answer is YES YOU CAN.&nbsp;&nbsp;

Let me explain:&nbsp;&nbsp;Today I called my daughter's father over becasue we had an issue to deal with.&nbsp;&nbsp;Our 3 year old daughter has the problem of throwing fits everytime it's time to leave some place fun that we have taken her.&nbsp;&nbsp;She does it with him, she does it with me and we felt it was time to correct the issue.&nbsp;&nbsp;

We had a short and direct discussion with her.&nbsp;&nbsp;She heard from both of us that if she cries when we are leaving somewhere 2 things will result: 
1st she will get a spanking and be put on her knees when we arrive at home. 
2nd she will not be allowed to go back to that "fun" place again. 

So she was clear and she knew we were united behind this.&nbsp;&nbsp;I tested the effectiveness by taking her to one of her favorite places, the bookstore.&nbsp;&nbsp;Everytime I've taken her, as we leave she is screaming and saying NOOOOOOOOO.&nbsp;&nbsp;But this time was different...

as we approached the doors I asked her "What are you not allowed to do when we leave?"
She repled "No crying." 
"What happens if you cry when I say it is time to leave?" 
"a spanking" 
and i completed it with "yes a spanking and we won't come back to the bookstore... so nooooo..."
"crying" 

We had fun and I did a little work.&nbsp;&nbsp;We read 2 stories.&nbsp;&nbsp;She played and made 2 new friends.&nbsp;&nbsp;Then I announced.&nbsp;&nbsp;"OK pumpkin lets pick up our mess... and remember, when it's time to go nooooo???"
"no crying" she finished for me. 
We left that place with no tears, no whining, no nothing but a beautiful smile on her face as I reminded her that her daddy and I are sooooo proud of her for being so mature and not crying.&nbsp;&nbsp;

Soi... what is my point with this story??? 

Her father and I have been through hell and high water... ups and downs... a hell of a lot more downs in the last year of our relationship... today we still have a hard time getting along.&nbsp;&nbsp;We are not together and we still disagree HEATEDLY very often... 
HOWEVER, when it comes to the discipline and training of our child I understand one thing... it is best for the future success of my child that he and I work TOGETHER. It doesn't matter what happened in our past.&nbsp;&nbsp;It doesn't matter whether or not we are together.&nbsp;&nbsp;We don't even have to like each other.&nbsp;&nbsp; 
BUT WHAT WE DO HAVE TO DO IS... Respect each other to the fullest.&nbsp;&nbsp;No bad mouthing each other in her ear shot, no contradicting each other's decisions, and agreeing to be present together for situations such as this.&nbsp;&nbsp;

There is no substitute for the role a father plays.&nbsp;&nbsp;It's like kids are born with an innate respectfulf fear of the man who made them.&nbsp;&nbsp;I'm sure it's due to the masculine strength and that booming voice and the "I do not play" demeanor that men have.&nbsp;&nbsp;And if you want a well behaved child, then make it easy on yourself, work with their dad... work WITH... u r not the boss.&nbsp;&nbsp;Let him do his thing with the kids. Thank him everytime he talks to them.&nbsp;&nbsp;When he wants to see them, tell him yes.&nbsp;&nbsp;When he wants to talk to them, tell him yes.&nbsp;&nbsp;Make it EASY for him to be a part of their lives. 
Too many ladies take advantage of every time the father comes around or calls to make him uncomfortable.&nbsp;&nbsp;and it's usually the same story "well he hurt me" "he did me wrong" "he doesnt do enough, so he deserves what I give to him."&nbsp;&nbsp;
but did u hear the pronouns you were using??? He and Me.... It's not about the two of you.&nbsp;&nbsp;It's about THEM. 
T H E M.&nbsp;&nbsp;THEM.&nbsp;&nbsp;the children.&nbsp;&nbsp;

so if you want to have an easier time with your children make him comfortable for him to interact with them.&nbsp;&nbsp;call him right now and make&nbsp;&nbsp;PEACE OFFERING. Explain that you know you haven't made it easy on him but now you want to set whatever is bad between yall aside and do what is best for the children.&nbsp;&nbsp;tell him that no matter what (and i mean no matter what) you will allow him to talk to and see the children.&nbsp;&nbsp;

And furthermore, anytime he calls or comes by you will NOT BRING UP ANY DISAGREEMENTS.&nbsp;&nbsp;you will agree to be polite and that you hope this will lead to better things for the children.

Tell him that and watch how much EVERYTHING improves.&nbsp;&nbsp;

Just try it.&nbsp;&nbsp;I dare you.&nbsp;&nbsp;:-)&nbsp;&nbsp;

Peace and Wisdom

QB.]]></content:encoded>
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			<title><![CDATA[OOOOOh i made somebody MAD with a poem! Lol.]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7227</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 07 Mar 2010 12:11:18 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7227</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Some of you guys know that I write poetry.  Recently, I've been performing my poetry and will hopefully start traveling soon and spreading my words.  I'm meeting with a publisher this week and trying to decide if I want to do a book or a spoken word CD or both. 

Anyway, I am working on new pieces as we speak while I have a little time off formwork.  and in the creative process I often do what all writers do, I look to my own experiences and the experiences of those I know.  
I wrote a poem titled "Two Who Stand As One" and posted it to my facebook... Weeeelllll... 
Someone on my friend list saw herself in my poem.  Now realize, I never named anyone, I just told a story.  Yet she saw herself and of course... became defensive... 

Here is an excerpt of the poem...

And now a home is just a house... i said a home is just a house
sitting empty because after 2 years he had enough
Of her spending thousands every month 
when he was out on the waters
Yes thousands… not dimes or quarters but dollars...
and his boys telling tales of her bouncing her ass in the club
And God only knows who she had in his bed for a fuck… 

So my perspective teaches me… that the greatest thing is love
Is love more like adoration, not the watered down version from Hollywood
Love that stands by your side like “We gotta fight!!! Together… 
Through any weather, 
We will make a family and build a life… as husband and wife


Yea it went hard.  So she responds with this 
"hey girly was on vacation in MEXICO LOL!!! when email came in and i read your poem its cute just keep in mind that no matter what you write about it is definitely just your perspective but you want to make sure to never persuade your audience to think that you are envious or jealous bc i am sure if this is about someone elses life you definitely may have made someone feel really good on the inside about your PERSPECTIVE if they read this poem, whether what you said is negative or positive!! i cant hate on you its not even in my nature to do so ill leave that up to you and all the rest...be blessed cause i am "


and all I can do is shake my head. (by the way, she said she recieved an email... there was no email.&nbsp;&nbsp;it was posted to facebook and no communication was sent to her.)]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Some of you guys know that I write poetry.  Recently, I've been performing my poetry and will hopefully start traveling soon and spreading my words.  I'm meeting with a publisher this week and trying to decide if I want to do a book or a spoken word CD or both. 

Anyway, I am working on new pieces as we speak while I have a little time off formwork.  and in the creative process I often do what all writers do, I look to my own experiences and the experiences of those I know.  
I wrote a poem titled "Two Who Stand As One" and posted it to my facebook... Weeeelllll... 
Someone on my friend list saw herself in my poem.  Now realize, I never named anyone, I just told a story.  Yet she saw herself and of course... became defensive... 

Here is an excerpt of the poem...

And now a home is just a house... i said a home is just a house
sitting empty because after 2 years he had enough
Of her spending thousands every month 
when he was out on the waters
Yes thousands… not dimes or quarters but dollars...
and his boys telling tales of her bouncing her ass in the club
And God only knows who she had in his bed for a fuck… 

So my perspective teaches me… that the greatest thing is love
Is love more like adoration, not the watered down version from Hollywood
Love that stands by your side like “We gotta fight!!! Together… 
Through any weather, 
We will make a family and build a life… as husband and wife


Yea it went hard.  So she responds with this 
"hey girly was on vacation in MEXICO LOL!!! when email came in and i read your poem its cute just keep in mind that no matter what you write about it is definitely just your perspective but you want to make sure to never persuade your audience to think that you are envious or jealous bc i am sure if this is about someone elses life you definitely may have made someone feel really good on the inside about your PERSPECTIVE if they read this poem, whether what you said is negative or positive!! i cant hate on you its not even in my nature to do so ill leave that up to you and all the rest...be blessed cause i am "


and all I can do is shake my head. (by the way, she said she recieved an email... there was no email.&nbsp;&nbsp;it was posted to facebook and no communication was sent to her.)]]></content:encoded>
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			<title><![CDATA[Now Im really confused. lol]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7226</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 07 Mar 2010 09:54:44 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7226</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[I spoke to my friend about the movies yesterday and she said she enjoyed the film however the lead James is not a real person. She said men dont provide beautiful homes, pay all the bills for women. Then she said he was foriegn and the woman was pimping him because she was light skinned and beautiful WOW!. I couldnt believe what i was hearing, this was a person that I grew up with and have known since I was 14 years old. We as a people have serious work to do. SHe told me that she dont expect her childrens father to take care of them because she has never seen a real black man take care of his children. (what is going on).  In defense of my brothers i explain to her this is not true, i know plenty of men who take good care of their children and are devoted fathers. This is true, one of my good friends was a single dad for 5 years to twin boys, he worked paid for day care and did a really good job with raising his children, (Love you X). Apparently she didnt like what i said, and told me that i feel this way because i date foreigners. And she dont see how I deal with shirt and tie men, they are boring and punks. Wow. This movie has a way of bringing out the ignorance in people. But dont worry i didnt get offended because she was right about me. I like men who think and go to college, and yes men from Africa are extremely fascinating to me, and while she sitting home on her broken down couch in her small dark apartment in Brooklyn not knowing how she is going to buy diapers, I will be in Midtown Manhattan with my foriegn shirt and tie man eating cooked sushi. Life is Good!

                                                                                                                Peace]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[I spoke to my friend about the movies yesterday and she said she enjoyed the film however the lead James is not a real person. She said men dont provide beautiful homes, pay all the bills for women. Then she said he was foriegn and the woman was pimping him because she was light skinned and beautiful WOW!. I couldnt believe what i was hearing, this was a person that I grew up with and have known since I was 14 years old. We as a people have serious work to do. SHe told me that she dont expect her childrens father to take care of them because she has never seen a real black man take care of his children. (what is going on).  In defense of my brothers i explain to her this is not true, i know plenty of men who take good care of their children and are devoted fathers. This is true, one of my good friends was a single dad for 5 years to twin boys, he worked paid for day care and did a really good job with raising his children, (Love you X). Apparently she didnt like what i said, and told me that i feel this way because i date foreigners. And she dont see how I deal with shirt and tie men, they are boring and punks. Wow. This movie has a way of bringing out the ignorance in people. But dont worry i didnt get offended because she was right about me. I like men who think and go to college, and yes men from Africa are extremely fascinating to me, and while she sitting home on her broken down couch in her small dark apartment in Brooklyn not knowing how she is going to buy diapers, I will be in Midtown Manhattan with my foriegn shirt and tie man eating cooked sushi. Life is Good!

                                                                                                                Peace]]></content:encoded>
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			<title><![CDATA[Leftover Black Woman Syndrome (LBWS)]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7225</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 07 Mar 2010 09:40:32 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7225</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Okay, back in the house. Wife back home with her mom and the kids are alternating. Looks like this will be a peaceable divorce.

I want to propose a new syndrome called "Leftover Black Woman Syndrome". This is inspired by IslandRa's statement that "No man should dine on another man's leftovers..:

LBWS is a syndrome where a woman has made a history of bad relationship choices and, her youngest and most vibrant years behind her, is now looking for a good man. She basically is a pile of leftovers..sexually, emotionally, maybe financially, mentally, and possibly intellectually. Whoever marries her adopts a ton of baggage and issues, not to mention the fact that she's been with various men of low character and morals. He has to accept this history, in order to accept her.

If we get philosophical with it..then her history kind of becomes his history..since they are one.

I am seeing a lot of women, usually starting in the mid-late 30's and up with this syndrome. They have spent all of their twenties and much of the thirties making bad relationship choices...addicted to swagger. Now that their bodies are starting to sag, biological clock is running out, and they are simply becoming "the old slut in the club" they are now looking for a good man...they are leftovers...

A lot of angry black women...end up as leftover black woman.

Some men dine on leftovers and are content.&nbsp;&nbsp;Some refuse to do it. Some are dining on leftovers and don't know it...sometimes a man will get served a plate of warmed over leftovers, it looks good, but once he has tasted it a few times...he longs for fresh food. It's a mess...true.

People deserve second chances...but not every man has the temperment to dine on leftovers.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Okay, back in the house. Wife back home with her mom and the kids are alternating. Looks like this will be a peaceable divorce.

I want to propose a new syndrome called "Leftover Black Woman Syndrome". This is inspired by IslandRa's statement that "No man should dine on another man's leftovers..:

LBWS is a syndrome where a woman has made a history of bad relationship choices and, her youngest and most vibrant years behind her, is now looking for a good man. She basically is a pile of leftovers..sexually, emotionally, maybe financially, mentally, and possibly intellectually. Whoever marries her adopts a ton of baggage and issues, not to mention the fact that she's been with various men of low character and morals. He has to accept this history, in order to accept her.

If we get philosophical with it..then her history kind of becomes his history..since they are one.

I am seeing a lot of women, usually starting in the mid-late 30's and up with this syndrome. They have spent all of their twenties and much of the thirties making bad relationship choices...addicted to swagger. Now that their bodies are starting to sag, biological clock is running out, and they are simply becoming "the old slut in the club" they are now looking for a good man...they are leftovers...

A lot of angry black women...end up as leftover black woman.

Some men dine on leftovers and are content.&nbsp;&nbsp;Some refuse to do it. Some are dining on leftovers and don't know it...sometimes a man will get served a plate of warmed over leftovers, it looks good, but once he has tasted it a few times...he longs for fresh food. It's a mess...true.

People deserve second chances...but not every man has the temperment to dine on leftovers.]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Something A Man Wrote To Me About The Movie...]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7224</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 07 Mar 2010 07:49:39 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7224</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[I just finished watching your movie a few days ago and I cannot say how relieved I am to finally get a realisitc explanation for this issue in the African American community. 

Here is the basics of my backgroun. I come from a middle class black family ( both parents) in a good subruban area called Chevy Chase. I attended public and private schools through my life, finished high school went to University of Virginia, studied Foreign Affairs and Philosophy, and now I work for a large multi-national company by the Naval Yard in DC. 

I was involved with a young black woman starting from high school up to recently. This young woman grew up in a household absent without a father and her Mother has been divorced 3 times! When I was younger I did not pay to much attention or notice these things because obviously I was naive at the time. I have had on and off again issues with her in which she would keep coming back into my life after treating me so badly. I did everything I felt a good man should do for his woman. I took her to nice dinners, weekend trips, bought her things was always there for her; everything. And she was basically lying and cheating on me for several years after we had both finished college. By the way she went to (FAMU renowned HBCU party school). 

More recently in the past few months, she has told me how much she loves me and wants to be with me yet she claims she is not ready yet but still wants me to wait for her while she messes around. I come to find out that she has been seeing someone on the side doing things for him and pretty much playing me for a fool while she lead me on. She is seeing someone who calls himself skeems. He is not college educated, much less I think he recently received his GED not too long after the typical 4 year high school process. He is not employed and is trying to be a rapper. And he gives her drugs to take with him and she does things for him she never has for me. How do I know that fact? Because while she was in the process of kicking me aside again she kept telling me that I cant do drugs with her because I am not like that? 

Since when is it a crime to be successful not do drugs and try to have a life with someone? Much like the commentary in your movie, I think the black woman want a challenge, or better to say want to be challenged by someone and be given somethign to fight about. When you are a good guy there is no challenge, you are boring not fun. In all the time I was with her she had not done one nice thing for me. But come to find out I see she was buying him stuff etc. In the end I have been profoundly hurt by this individual. 

Outside of her its hard in general for a level headed good black man out there. It really is. It seems like all the sistas at least in my area, are goin for the thugs - Jay Z's. But the ones wearing the suit and ties, not sagging their pants and making career moves are left on the backburner. It is beyond frustrating to the point that I really am about to just stop trying with black women. I have dated others, and I can objectionally say that there was something going on with them. 

Except for 1, all of the black women I have dated have grown up with a divorced parent. I have dated ones who were extremely submissive (because the were brought up by their father) and ones that were always fighting me over something. Then there are the ones that pretty much dont have any cares at all for you except if you can do things for them. What is a brother to do about this? What are our options? 

I am 24 going on 25 in June. My life is in order, I am doing the right thing and I am making career moves within my company and creating my own business. For a time I was joking that I would need to leave the country to find the right woman, every day I am believing that more and more. I feel for now that things are the way they are but I know when I get a little older, later 20's that I will be in a good position because all these women making mistakes when they were younger are going to come back to us good black men because they will know the guys they were with before were no good in the end. 

Thank you for this eye openign video/documentary. It highlights so many problems that the good black men face these days. We need a solution for this problem. I hope the coup de grace for black men and black women issues in america has not already passed. Keep up the good work and if you are ever doing any events in the Washington DC area please inform me. Thank you.

_END

Do you hear what this young brotha is saying?  I do.

Ladies listen to him.  Please.  It is for the future of your own families, and our people.

People need to make better families and stay there to raise them.  It takes two to make children, and it takes two good ones to raise future good people.  Please make better choices in your life.  You are hurting your own children and future generations with your current choices and actions.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[I just finished watching your movie a few days ago and I cannot say how relieved I am to finally get a realisitc explanation for this issue in the African American community. 

Here is the basics of my backgroun. I come from a middle class black family ( both parents) in a good subruban area called Chevy Chase. I attended public and private schools through my life, finished high school went to University of Virginia, studied Foreign Affairs and Philosophy, and now I work for a large multi-national company by the Naval Yard in DC. 

I was involved with a young black woman starting from high school up to recently. This young woman grew up in a household absent without a father and her Mother has been divorced 3 times! When I was younger I did not pay to much attention or notice these things because obviously I was naive at the time. I have had on and off again issues with her in which she would keep coming back into my life after treating me so badly. I did everything I felt a good man should do for his woman. I took her to nice dinners, weekend trips, bought her things was always there for her; everything. And she was basically lying and cheating on me for several years after we had both finished college. By the way she went to (FAMU renowned HBCU party school). 

More recently in the past few months, she has told me how much she loves me and wants to be with me yet she claims she is not ready yet but still wants me to wait for her while she messes around. I come to find out that she has been seeing someone on the side doing things for him and pretty much playing me for a fool while she lead me on. She is seeing someone who calls himself skeems. He is not college educated, much less I think he recently received his GED not too long after the typical 4 year high school process. He is not employed and is trying to be a rapper. And he gives her drugs to take with him and she does things for him she never has for me. How do I know that fact? Because while she was in the process of kicking me aside again she kept telling me that I cant do drugs with her because I am not like that? 

Since when is it a crime to be successful not do drugs and try to have a life with someone? Much like the commentary in your movie, I think the black woman want a challenge, or better to say want to be challenged by someone and be given somethign to fight about. When you are a good guy there is no challenge, you are boring not fun. In all the time I was with her she had not done one nice thing for me. But come to find out I see she was buying him stuff etc. In the end I have been profoundly hurt by this individual. 

Outside of her its hard in general for a level headed good black man out there. It really is. It seems like all the sistas at least in my area, are goin for the thugs - Jay Z's. But the ones wearing the suit and ties, not sagging their pants and making career moves are left on the backburner. It is beyond frustrating to the point that I really am about to just stop trying with black women. I have dated others, and I can objectionally say that there was something going on with them. 

Except for 1, all of the black women I have dated have grown up with a divorced parent. I have dated ones who were extremely submissive (because the were brought up by their father) and ones that were always fighting me over something. Then there are the ones that pretty much dont have any cares at all for you except if you can do things for them. What is a brother to do about this? What are our options? 

I am 24 going on 25 in June. My life is in order, I am doing the right thing and I am making career moves within my company and creating my own business. For a time I was joking that I would need to leave the country to find the right woman, every day I am believing that more and more. I feel for now that things are the way they are but I know when I get a little older, later 20's that I will be in a good position because all these women making mistakes when they were younger are going to come back to us good black men because they will know the guys they were with before were no good in the end. 

Thank you for this eye openign video/documentary. It highlights so many problems that the good black men face these days. We need a solution for this problem. I hope the coup de grace for black men and black women issues in america has not already passed. Keep up the good work and if you are ever doing any events in the Washington DC area please inform me. Thank you.

_END

Do you hear what this young brotha is saying?  I do.

Ladies listen to him.  Please.  It is for the future of your own families, and our people.

People need to make better families and stay there to raise them.  It takes two to make children, and it takes two good ones to raise future good people.  Please make better choices in your life.  You are hurting your own children and future generations with your current choices and actions.]]></content:encoded>
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			<title><![CDATA[I am not in denial.]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7223</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 07 Mar 2010 07:05:37 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7223</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[I am angry but I don't want to be. I welcome all negative and positive responses to what I post. I want to grow from this discussion. I was raised in a two parent household until 6th grade when my parents divorced. As a young child I was afraid of my father because he is a strong, authoritative black man and I was a sensitive child. We left him at a very important time in my development and we lived in a different state so his influence over me was minimal. He helped to support us and we visited him as regularly as possible but it wasn't the same as having a father at home. He instilled alot in me during my life, however. He is the reason I am disciplined, kind, and respectful but I know that his absence had major negative repercussions for my life. I never got the chance to develop a deeper understanding of my father so I have always avoided strong, good men because I fear them. I also have anger toward men that I perceive as "good" because I feel they desire a "perfect" woman that does not exist. I feel this way because I think I am a beautiful person but I am rejected by them. Because of a fear of being rejected by "good" men I involved myself with weak and dependent men. Not only did that cause me to become even more angry, but it also made me even more confused about men. I started to develop false beliefs about men. However, I know for certain that there is a world of black men out there that I know nothing about and that is sad. 

In short, I fear "good" men and I do not know how to be the kind of woman that they desire. I have no idea how to resolve this problem and I suspect I am making it more difficult than it has to be.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[I am angry but I don't want to be. I welcome all negative and positive responses to what I post. I want to grow from this discussion. I was raised in a two parent household until 6th grade when my parents divorced. As a young child I was afraid of my father because he is a strong, authoritative black man and I was a sensitive child. We left him at a very important time in my development and we lived in a different state so his influence over me was minimal. He helped to support us and we visited him as regularly as possible but it wasn't the same as having a father at home. He instilled alot in me during my life, however. He is the reason I am disciplined, kind, and respectful but I know that his absence had major negative repercussions for my life. I never got the chance to develop a deeper understanding of my father so I have always avoided strong, good men because I fear them. I also have anger toward men that I perceive as "good" because I feel they desire a "perfect" woman that does not exist. I feel this way because I think I am a beautiful person but I am rejected by them. Because of a fear of being rejected by "good" men I involved myself with weak and dependent men. Not only did that cause me to become even more angry, but it also made me even more confused about men. I started to develop false beliefs about men. However, I know for certain that there is a world of black men out there that I know nothing about and that is sad. 

In short, I fear "good" men and I do not know how to be the kind of woman that they desire. I have no idea how to resolve this problem and I suspect I am making it more difficult than it has to be.]]></content:encoded>
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			<title><![CDATA[Something A Woman Wrote To Me About The Movie...]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7222</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 07 Mar 2010 05:04:11 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7222</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[I really enjoyed the movie. It was a big surprise that I just happened upon while browsing Netflix. The timing was interesting because I have just gotten out of a very difficult and painful relationship with a Black man whose father was absent from the home and whose mother made poor choices in the two step-fathers she brought into the home to live with her children. As a result my ex-boyfriend harbors serious anger toward women and has substance abuse problems.

Many of the things I heard the men saying in this movie I have heard my boyfriend say about his past experiences with women. Some of the points are valid but it is really important to remember that all women do not behave this way nor treat their men the way Tonya did in the movie. Many of the men interviewed said women make poor choices in men and that they are then responsible for their own bitterness. I will admit that I have made poor choices. This last relationship is a testament to that. However, I am trying to really focus on what causes me to make these choices and I am very conscious of not holding bitterness for all men because of what a few have done. The flip side is that, as a few insightful folks mentioned in the movie, this is a human issue, not just a Black issue. Men also make poor choices and then carry that baggage into their next relationship. Men fall for the hoochies and mistreat the good women. 

What I will share with you is that in this last relationship I saw the intense pain my ex-boyfriend was experiencing because of his unresolved issues. I mistakenly thought I could help him by showing him that a black woman can be loving, understanding and supportive, which is my nature. I thought that if I just stayed and endured he would see how much I loved him and, in turn, love me back. What I learned is that until a person learns to love him/herself, they will not be capable of loving anyone else. To elaborate on what one man in the barbershop said, Black people in general do not seek professional help for our issues. We do not explore alternative methods for dealing with stress such as meditation, yoga, massage, acupuncture, healthful eating, etc. 

The fate of our children (I don't have any of my own so I am speaking about the children of the Black community as a whole) lies with you; our psychological, spiritual, and emotional health and the integrity of our choices.

_END

It is all so true.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[I really enjoyed the movie. It was a big surprise that I just happened upon while browsing Netflix. The timing was interesting because I have just gotten out of a very difficult and painful relationship with a Black man whose father was absent from the home and whose mother made poor choices in the two step-fathers she brought into the home to live with her children. As a result my ex-boyfriend harbors serious anger toward women and has substance abuse problems.

Many of the things I heard the men saying in this movie I have heard my boyfriend say about his past experiences with women. Some of the points are valid but it is really important to remember that all women do not behave this way nor treat their men the way Tonya did in the movie. Many of the men interviewed said women make poor choices in men and that they are then responsible for their own bitterness. I will admit that I have made poor choices. This last relationship is a testament to that. However, I am trying to really focus on what causes me to make these choices and I am very conscious of not holding bitterness for all men because of what a few have done. The flip side is that, as a few insightful folks mentioned in the movie, this is a human issue, not just a Black issue. Men also make poor choices and then carry that baggage into their next relationship. Men fall for the hoochies and mistreat the good women. 

What I will share with you is that in this last relationship I saw the intense pain my ex-boyfriend was experiencing because of his unresolved issues. I mistakenly thought I could help him by showing him that a black woman can be loving, understanding and supportive, which is my nature. I thought that if I just stayed and endured he would see how much I loved him and, in turn, love me back. What I learned is that until a person learns to love him/herself, they will not be capable of loving anyone else. To elaborate on what one man in the barbershop said, Black people in general do not seek professional help for our issues. We do not explore alternative methods for dealing with stress such as meditation, yoga, massage, acupuncture, healthful eating, etc. 

The fate of our children (I don't have any of my own so I am speaking about the children of the Black community as a whole) lies with you; our psychological, spiritual, and emotional health and the integrity of our choices.

_END

It is all so true.]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Sorry gurl, but this phoney shyt gotta go!!]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7221</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 07 Mar 2010 00:19:00 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7221</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[At the mall counting all of the phony BS in todays pop culture that women have told that is cute, sexy and attractive.&nbsp;&nbsp;It maxed out with one female:
* 2 fake hair clips (didnt match the real stuff)
* fake (make me look like a ho) lashes
* bright brown contacts
* cheap fake nails

And THEN:
* tight jeans
* knee high boots
* short shirt that left the flabby belly exposed (no doubt had a baby OR bad eating habits)
* gawdy gold jewelry from the ears, hands, neck, ...
* Tatts on the neck and Tramp Stamp

THEN, kids like these wonder why they are not taken seriously and attract the a-holes.&nbsp;&nbsp;She looked barely 18.

We went up the the cabin on the lake to make sure all was okay and when we got home had to run and shop.&nbsp;&nbsp;BS like this is why I appreciate the back woods with the deer and racoons and bugs as opposed to this.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[At the mall counting all of the phony BS in todays pop culture that women have told that is cute, sexy and attractive.&nbsp;&nbsp;It maxed out with one female:
* 2 fake hair clips (didnt match the real stuff)
* fake (make me look like a ho) lashes
* bright brown contacts
* cheap fake nails

And THEN:
* tight jeans
* knee high boots
* short shirt that left the flabby belly exposed (no doubt had a baby OR bad eating habits)
* gawdy gold jewelry from the ears, hands, neck, ...
* Tatts on the neck and Tramp Stamp

THEN, kids like these wonder why they are not taken seriously and attract the a-holes.&nbsp;&nbsp;She looked barely 18.

We went up the the cabin on the lake to make sure all was okay and when we got home had to run and shop.&nbsp;&nbsp;BS like this is why I appreciate the back woods with the deer and racoons and bugs as opposed to this.]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[This Sista Went Hard!!]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7219</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 06 Mar 2010 15:22:57 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7219</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Brothas, there are sistas out there who do "get it".
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Brothas, there are sistas out there who do "get it".
]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[RESPECT this strong black woman!!!]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7218</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:00:55 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7218</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[







:eh:

:xp:

:stressed:

:evil:]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[







:eh:

:xp:

:stressed:

:evil:]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[I get it now!]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7217</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 06 Mar 2010 06:58:14 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7217</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[This morning was the first time i watched this movie, and I have to admitt i finally get it now. I have been in a long term relationship for 10 years that ended because he became neglectful and didnt want to marry me, after having his 2 beautiful daughters. So now poor little oh me, is the world of the singles and dating. This has been one of the funniest years of my life, i asked my girlfriend are men crazy! or is it just me. Believe it or not they want to know why i dont yell and curse people out. Some have told me that im not a strong sister and that everyone can just walk all over me, (red flag). Some dont understand why i dont beat my children. I believe that i am there first teacher. I'm not in the club on the weekends, I cook and clean my house, and carry myself like a lady at all times.   I feel like i was on another planet for about 10 years. Until i saw this film i didnt know that it was expected for black woman to be abusive, controling, disrepectful, and manipulating. WoW, is this the real world. I was born and raised in brooklyn, ny in the projects by a single mom. I have my own business,www.thepoconoslearningplace.com, and i have always contributed equally to my household. We are not all agressive men haters, and i love men, god made man and woman to be together and i have met some really nice professional black men while in this dating game. Thank you for this movie i will be telling all of my single friends about it. 
                                                                                            peace]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[This morning was the first time i watched this movie, and I have to admitt i finally get it now. I have been in a long term relationship for 10 years that ended because he became neglectful and didnt want to marry me, after having his 2 beautiful daughters. So now poor little oh me, is the world of the singles and dating. This has been one of the funniest years of my life, i asked my girlfriend are men crazy! or is it just me. Believe it or not they want to know why i dont yell and curse people out. Some have told me that im not a strong sister and that everyone can just walk all over me, (red flag). Some dont understand why i dont beat my children. I believe that i am there first teacher. I'm not in the club on the weekends, I cook and clean my house, and carry myself like a lady at all times.   I feel like i was on another planet for about 10 years. Until i saw this film i didnt know that it was expected for black woman to be abusive, controling, disrepectful, and manipulating. WoW, is this the real world. I was born and raised in brooklyn, ny in the projects by a single mom. I have my own business,www.thepoconoslearningplace.com, and i have always contributed equally to my household. We are not all agressive men haters, and i love men, god made man and woman to be together and i have met some really nice professional black men while in this dating game. Thank you for this movie i will be telling all of my single friends about it. 
                                                                                            peace]]></content:encoded>
		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[Chicana Feminism exposed]]></title>
			<link>http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7216</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 05 Mar 2010 22:58:11 -0500</pubDate>
			<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.tiredblackman.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=7216</guid>
			<description><![CDATA[Looks like some of the U.S. Latina women as waking up as well to the evils of Western feminism.  

I think it is a wonderful thing to see people waking up, peel back some of the curtain and see the white supremacist system for what it is.
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Looks like some of the U.S. Latina women as waking up as well to the evils of Western feminism.  

I think it is a wonderful thing to see people waking up, peel back some of the curtain and see the white supremacist system for what it is.
]]></content:encoded>
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